hello world. something bad happened today. I waited dam long for stupid 170 to come guess who were waiting too? Estella and Cheryl from 03. Waited for like 1/2 an hour. Bandana came out and she took 171 and estella and cheryl gave up waiting so they took 171 with her. Guess what? 170 came right after that. I smsed bandana to tell her the good news. she passed on the news to cheryl and estella, who promptly alighted from 171 and got onto 170 at the next stop. They sat at the seats diagonally in front of me. They started talking about me. Estella said my name so freakin loud and clear, i actually jumped. And then whispering. mentioning of more names. It was clear what they were talking about. Gossip gossip. Eee here, yuk there. Yea. Too bad they arent blessed with inaudible voices? Cuz i kinda can hear them gossiping. And dam could they care less about whether the people they were gossiping about were present. Hm! I kinda wonder if i was meant to hear some bits in the first place! Ah, they probably don't think it's harmful in the first place. Aiya, since you're already talking in front of me, might as well talk louder, why waste your energy whispering.. i already know how everything spread.

I never talked about them even. Don't know anything about them. Same as how they don't know me. Yet they have something to talk about. Talk talk talk. Me ranting on. some people really can't multitask. When they talk they forget how to feel. am i being oversensitive? HM! i don't know really.

Didn't know they were one of those people. I must really be too naive. I actually think that some people are nice. That's probably why i get tricked. I'm always wrong. strange. People do think they are nice. Gossiping, especially harmful gossiping, is really just part of human nature right? I'm gonna become an alien then. All that talk. I should talk less too.

From dictionary.com:
gos⋅sip
  /ˈgɒsəp/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [gos-uhp] Show IPA noun, verb, -siped or -sipped, -sip⋅ing or -sip⋅ping.
Use gossip in a Sentence
–noun
1. idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.

But idle talk sounds like normal talking. I shall insert my own definition of it being harmful to the feelings of others because i don't think huiwei will be very hurt if i told xiu rong that she's eating mushrooms for the first time. That's still her personal affair but a gossip that seems acceptable yet when we use gossip, it always has bad connotations.

as a side thought, i do not watch movies one on one with people i meet at obs. Wherever that idea sprung out from, i do not know. Does not matter since it's a lie.

I probably wouldn't really care if i heard that they talked about me[it's the in thing nowadays]. it's just bad being there in person. Being there in person just makes me wanna shrivel up and die.
Luckily they are not my friends.

byebye fake friends.

i woke up LATE this morning. Mom suddenly came into the room at 7:05am gasping in shock. I opened my eyes, saw the colour of the light in the room [quite blue and bright, meaning not 6+ anymore, meaning must be 7+, meaning LATE.] and my first thought was SHYT. Hopped out of bed, brushed teeth, changed and bounced out of the house in a grand total of 3 minutes. I'm fast right!! Hailed a cab at 7:11am which cost me THIRTY-ONE BUCKS. Walao eh. I dunno if the uncle cheated me or what. The plain fare was $17, the surcharge was $14. Grah. I almost made it, might have if the uncle had the change for me!! anyway i was late for the first time in my NJ life. sigh.

This is what happens when usually I'm the only one who wakes up in the morning. Me dont wake up= mom dont wake up = sis+dad dont wake up. Ta da. It's a chain reaction. I don't seem to hear my clock recently though. I wonder if it's spoilt or i'm spoilt. Probably I am.

Anyway yesterday morning i went to see the Da Vinci Exhibition with my sis and bc. It was intriguing while i was there but it didn't leave an impact on me! My sis said if she wanted to see replicas of an artist's work she would just go search online. It was $15 to see the replicas. Anyway to feel better, we watched an omnimax movie, Sea Monsters! It was quite awesome but my legs felt weak sitting at the top of the theatre. When i went the first time in primary school, i was cringing in the chair. It's like a viking feeling, which i cannot stand. This time, the national geographic logo being flashed in a way that the yellow rectangle comes towards you like a tunnel, totally made me and my sis weak in the knees. I had to grab on to the armrests and shut my eyes for a moment. Man, when they show those dipping scenes, like, from flying over the horizon to being sucked into the sea, you totally feel like you're falling. Well, i totally feel like i'm falling and my heart falls with it. Yet i think it would have been nicer with more of that because that's like the whole point of the omnimax theatre! It can give you that feeling!

Anyway the show was just following the life of a cute flipper-ed dino which they referred to as the Daaaaa-ly. She got bitten by a shark and there was a shark tooth embedded in her skeleton when the paleontologists were sweeping up her bones. Yea there was some diversity and evolution involved. Hah.

Exiting the omnimax brought us to a space exhibit, which was really really nice, I love outer space apart from the aliens. We didn't stay too long cuz i was supposed to go home and study soon. We went to IMM to eat and DAISO where everything is 2 dollars, and i was SOO tempted to get this cute little box of pastels! My sis strongly supported me in buying a cute little box of markers instead so i got the cute little markers instead. But i still think those pastels were SO CUTE. Ahh.. i just wanted to own all the colour pencils, markers, crayons and little pastels on that shelf!

Okay, after that we went off home and i did work until 1+ resulting in my being late for school. YAY.

i was doing my IS halfway when my sis came home and reminded me that today is national day and i switched on the tv to watch the parade! Guess what, the parachuters are wearing bell bottoms! lolol. And they didnt give out coloured smoke this year. how sad. Anyway, i finished season1 of House! fastforwarded DOUBLE SPEED man. Cant do that for season 2 though, IT DOESNT HAVE ENGLISH SUBSS. nooo.

i regret to say i didnt wake up thinking its national day! But instead my first thought was a trail of my dream, which ended with some chem question. Yea. What kind of life do i have man.

Anyway it was fun watching UP with xiu rong, minlu and breadface! I didnt wanna watch it actually since its a 3D ANIMATION MOVIE and i really dislike watching those in cinemas cuz its a cartoon. BUT for the sake of minlu, i graciously obliged. Everyone else wanted to watch it anyway! Anyway anyway, it was nice though, the funny parts were really pretty funny and breadface kept laughing and laughing i thought he might go into convulsions soon. Then i would have to administer some benzodiazepines STAT!

Okay okay. Time to do homework while watching TV. i mean, do homework. Really. Really! ok bye.

YES. i have yuan fen with HOUSE! In episode 4 the ppl thinking of names for their kid:

"Amber."

"No. Amber's a stripper name."

"Ok, non stripper names. Desiree?"

HAA.

Good sign for my IS i hope.

im spamming house so i can do my IS properly.

Anyway, i think i should stay up till 12:34:56, 7/08/09 to mark the date since fudi has kindly informed me that that would be 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 and it would not happen again in my life! Whoohoo. How exciting apart from the fact that im quite dead tired and would like to sleep. But no! I must not miss this exciting event.

CIP today was the ultimate awesomeness. Jeremy is the ultimate slave! He is super good at slave work man, he does anything i ask him to. lololol. So fun. Ever since he moment he spilt the green paint on the floor, we discovered his talents for cleaning floors and passing paint bottles to people/ washing paintbrushes and getting things for people. Haha. So thats what he did for the rest of the time. REVENGE FOR THE DOUGHNUT.

We painted a lot of new things again today! XiuHui, WanYun and I added a new layer of grass and... I WASTED SO MUCH TIME ON THE STUPID SUN. I kinda regret it now. I want to paint more mushrooms instead!! Yea. I made the sun too orange[i always think of the desert sun] so i spent like 2 hours toning it down and blending it back. After much noise from scholars and xiu hui, i hurriedly moved on to clouds. Zhuo Chun helped me with clouds too! So we have a grand total of FOUR clouds now! [they were commenting i was gonna spend another 2 hours on clouds but i proved them wrong!]

Anyway after clouds i proceeded on to mushroom drawing and painting. Zui Qiu insisted on GIANT mushrooms and he was right! Giant mushrooms are easier to paint! Ama and I did mushroom painting and both of us are unsatisfied with our mushrooms. They look weeeird. We are bent on some touching up on Wednesday.

ZuiQiu drew a dam nice swan. Dam good laa... And the trees are also uber nice!! Done by TEAM no. 1: Chian Siang and Qingyun [they make a dam good team!], Team No. 2: Kristy and Daniel[and occasionally jeremy i think] Kristy is so tall she only needs a canteen bench to paint the tree!!! Team no. 3: Scholarly Team [who were also doing the uber nice pond] consisting of JiaSheng, ZuiQiu, Zheyu, ZhuoChun

I hope I didnt miss out anyone!

More credits for previous days CIP: huiwei for helping me paint the tree bark! Fudi for touching up the empty sky, lynna for her very nice dustbins lol. XiuRong, Joyce, Jingmin, Roddy for grass base layer and everything else that everyone did that i didn't see C:

note to self: find happiness in the smallest things. ignore that which causes pain.

:D C: schmile more. it might be better for doing homework.

THE COLD WAR HAS ENDED. Arh. It was not meant to be so soon because my cold, cold heart is unforgiving, but i was in too much of a joyous mood today to reject anyone.

Squash today was fun while my time alone with Kaiting lasted. After that it wasnt so fun cuz i couldnt really hit the ball when someone purposely hit so hard -.- Oh and Kaiting kept laughing at me non-stop for some retarded thing that i did. [i seriously have no idea what i was thinking when i did that!!] I couldn't take the extent of retardacy that it turned out to be that i almost mauled her while trying to get her not to tell xiuhui and crisp. [she still told xiuhui in the end but at least the retardacy of it all had worn out quite a bit in my mind.]

Got back last of my papers today. Whitby is disappointed in me and i am disappointed in my bio and that just about sums it all up!

I feel like a monkey now. I had longan, cherries, mangosteen and banana after dinner. Monkey's diet. I could live on just that forever.

My fingers are quite sore from practising piano. I hope i pass my lesson decently tomorrow.

I HAVE TO STUDY. STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY. prison break and harper's island have ended so there's no more TV for me to watch so mom said no more TV!! So i have to study study study and maybe one day i'll be able to go to the land of the long white cloud and be happy.

ok time to go.

hello, im here to write about my dream, before i head to dinner.

I was dead sleepy [cuz again i couldnt sleep last night] so i went to sleep when i got home, after drinking ribena. I slept for about 2 and a half hours and had a dream.

I think it was a nightmare rather, but it wasn't THAT nightmarish. I dreamt that there was career fair going on in school and there were exhibits in the field, giant fighter planes and stuff for the SAF and there were people playing with it. Then andy told us we had to go to the range for a meeting and it was already quite late and i wanted to go home, but i went for the meeting anyway with xiu rong. When we got there we waited for dam long for everybody to settle down, then andy told us that the meeting was to tell us to meet on saturday at 1pm! I was so irritated I shouted at andy and starting exclaiming about how stupid this all was, then I went home in a huff. It was dark and the roads looked different so I almost couldnt find my way to the bus stop. Then i remembered I was supposed to draw this sea scenery for Ama. So i drew it and painted it in watercolours with my fingers, and then my dad decided to help so he was drawing a sea plant then he started using the colour pencil to colour it green, but I had already coloured it in watercolour pencils then wet the paper so the paper was soggy and thin and as he tried to colour using the normal colour pencil, the paper started to tear. I begged him to stop and stop but he just continued and he pressed even harder and the whole thing just tore apart and I kept saying I told you to stop!! I told you to stop!!! I already finished it I told you to stop!! I was having a nervous breakdown and i was so agitated i started breathing very fast and very heavily and i woke up like that, breathing very chaotic-ly.

For most of the dream I was just agitated, angry, impatient, annoyed. I wonder if it's runoff from school emotions.

Squall has become humongous, he covers my hand almost entirely. And he's quite heavy and i can feel the wholesomeness of his squishy body as he waddles across my palms. He is still one of the nicest colours of hamsters ever although his head seems to be tiny in comparison with the rest of his body such that he is starting to resemble a bear. All i can see in his sparkly big black eyes is the plea for more fooood. [although there isnt lack of it in his cage]

Stupid blogger was not working yesterday when i had things to rant about so I spent 5 hours venting my frustrations by drawing a picture instead, from around 6 to 11+pm. There are so many imperfections in it i found but i'm too lazy to correct them. [or rather, i don't really know how to as well.] Whatever la. I shall not care about people who are mean and ungrateful.

Anyway i am here primarily to talk about my dream this morning. I dreamt that suddenly, while looking out at the coast from the house I was in, I saw the waves seem to get stronger and stronger, and it started to push an island out of place and make it collapse into mud. This, being big news, was then related to the people who were with me [i don't know who other than my sis], and we were all in shock and fear and jumped into a car to get out of the place. When we were driving out, suddenly there was this HUGE ship right in front of us. Like, literally directly in front, the tip was almost touching the hood of our car and it was humongous and made of faded red planks. It started to move forward a bit so we tried to move as well, but it slipped back and i remember preparing myself for death as we could have been crushed. It was seriously quite frightening. Then we saw other people getting away on motorbikes, and the motorbikes in my dream were not like those you usually see on the streets, but they were slightly translucent, white and very very sleek. There were empty ones lying around so i told my sis to jump onto one and she was like "siao ah" but did it anyway. And then we sped down the road as the waves crashed behind us and finally got to this house. Because everyone was soaking wet, they wanted to get changed, i don't know why it would make a difference. But the waves were coming and i tried to warn them but nobody would listen. The house got swallowed up in the water and when we looked out the windows, there was nothing but water all around. The water was totally clear clear blue and we could see through it for miles. I don't remember how it ended from here...

wa not bad. i reached home in 1hour. such ulu timing the bus all very fast.

I'm almost half dead from starvation. So eating now.
today was an interesting day. It's Chris's birthday. I had to go get present [nobody else seemed to have time to get :/] so went with my sisters to TM to find it. Consulted Fuddy [yay thanks], wa so scared i buy wrongly -.- The people in the shop went to bounce the ball after they pumped it and i think they dirtied it a bit -.- there was like a blackish spot there [maybe no one noticed hah.] Anyway, i went to find Charbi after that cuz we had to add on to the present since its from so many people! Ama and daniel were there and they had bian tai ideasssss. [my idea so nice and appropriate can.] They always seem to like to give people bian tai things lo. Oh and they seem to have something against 77th street, but i don't really know why, haha but they were so strongly disapproving of it that i decided not to mention that i actually like it [hi-5 fuddy]. So in the end we really did get something not very normal. Shall not type it here.

After that we set off for Chris's house AND GOT LOST. walked and walked and walked. AND we got freaked out by an automatic gate. We were walking past when the gate opened suddenly! then charlyn jumped, then i was like WHOA[because i just noticed the moving gate], then she got shocked by me and was like AAAH. And it was a total chain reaction man... Automatic gates are super scary okay.

We made it finally, just in time before Charlyn ---- haha nvm shall not say, she might kill me. And there was NO ONE THERE. the dog was like super fierce and barking at us but she was taken away aww. So Chris's mom opened the gate for us [automatic scary gate] and we just waited for everyone else to come.

The whole party was like some guy's party man, but there was a lot of funny and lame stuff so not bad, at least the guys are funny. but i dunno whats with the size jokes [how come i don't respond to them like i would have if i was still in primary school i.e. KICKASS. must be cuz i grew out of it! anyway its so lame juz laugh]

So for the rest of the time we played random games like charades, naming songs and bands with colours or numbers in them, and guessing song names from their lyrics [GRAH, i didnt guess the linkin park one though i only knew it was linkin park. the atmosphere was not very good for thinking!] The guys stayed on to watch some lame movie while the girls went back after that.

Haha, parties are weird, give me headache. But as long as the right people are there it can be quite entertaining.

note: sigh, should i have to explain myself? i don't think there is much point. those who know what happened know what happened so that's that. I didn't choose him over her. but it worked out to seem like that. okay. the end.

dammit this feeling sucks.

not only do i fear the worst for teacher meeting tmr but i am also in a sad sad dilemma.

dammit.

wa wa wa the party last night was so crazy it took away my sleep. Haha yes. I didnt sleep again last night! The noise was trapped in my head and couldnt get out and my mind kept replaying the events and the noise and the chaos and so it couldnt get to rest. Anyway I survived piano cuz when I get up in this state i'm usually not tired [until now cept that i can't go sleep now cuz i have to go buy lunch soon-ish].

Philosophy is killing all my brain cells slowly. Every word I read, I can feel it reaching out and squishing those little cells of mine. I'm just trying to get research for my IS! But they always talk in such a confusing way that I have to read the same sentence over and over again to understand it. Maybe I'm just slower or stupider in addition to the fact that I have very bad reading skills. I need to train to read faster or I'll never finish Great Expectations. Oh, I wanted to laugh when I saw the context passage for Lit common test cuz I had never seen it before, meaning it must have come from volume 3, which i have yet to have associations with. I really must improve on this point. Things cannot go on this way!

Hooray. I'm home from Charlyn's birthday party! Wow this is like the first real party ive been to and its super high and noisy man. Anyway it was a white themed party so everyone was supposed to wear white! Most of us were making noise cuz we didnt have FULL white but in the end everyone mostly wore half white anyway.

Anyway anyway xr and I went early! To help Charbi arrange food and stuff, and then we hid in the room cuz we didn't know most of the people who were there! [They were RJ people and council people] We also went outside to make friends with the little black kitten. And then we continued hiding until the 04 people came, yayyy. Then we came out and paraded around them happily. We spent most of the time zi highing cuz it was kinda chaotic and well if you don't zi high you will be quite sian.

We waited so long for huiwei and fuddy to come! So we could finally take charbi's present out of the fridge and show her. It was a bouquet of EIGHTEEN WHITE ROSES okayy, and like SUPER NICE [i bought it yay] and i totally felt like we were gonna marry her. We even gave her a white dress, like a wedding dress.

So the 04 bunch watched everyone play group games [hardly knowing what was going on] and then finally, cut cake! Charbi gave this cool speech [wa so brave] and touched all our hearts with her words! Then the other half of 04 bunch left cuz everyone lives so far away except for me [wahahah.] and huiwei, fuddy, xr, joycelyn and I stayed behind to hide in the room and play card games. And then we decided we should leave too cuz huiwei and fuddy also stay far away and xr and joycelyn stay sorta far too so yeaaa.

What tiring things, parties are. Charlyn's parents are super nice to her! I feel quite drained from zi highing. Especially when i was surviving on water the whole time cuz i kept drinking the drinks and then became too full for the food. And I have piano tomorrow which I havent practised for oh no.

I am so sad. I didnt sleep at all last night! You know how horrible it is to just lie there in bed and not be able to fall asleep!? Well i experience it all the time, but never so horrible as yesterday. I didnt fall asleep at all, not for a minute, not for a moment, not even a second. I was awake all the way, listening to the sounds around me, my sis on the phone, my other sis coming home, my bro mentioning moving the mouse cage outside, Morse had died. My sis sobbing.

I lay there with my eyes closed hoping that just for a while, maybe for an hour or so, i would fall asleep. But nothing happened. And soon it was 530 and time to get up.

On Sunday night i went to sleep at 1030pm because i was soo tired from not being able to sleep the day before. Of course i lay there till 12+ and longer before i finally did sleep for a while, and then woke up at 830 automatically. I didnt get up cuz i was still so tired so i continued sleeping and had a dream about becoming a robot and ended up waking at 11 instead.

On saturday night i went to sleep at 1+ and was awake until 430, where i checked the clock and sighed to myself with deep disappointment. I had to wake up at 830 to go get xr's present. I think I fell asleep soon after checking the clock because i think i dreamt of something. Anyway when i woke up I wasnt really tired somehow.

The day before the first day of CTs, I didnt sleep as well, just lay there with my mind wide awake but my eyes half asleep and when I woke up I was barely tired. That night I didn't really sleep again and almost fell asleep during my bio paper the next day. I was reading the questions so slowly cuz my mind was half asleep. I just wanted it to end so i could sleep... for a while...

Just before school reopened i started losing my ability to sleep and one day after not sleeping at night, i stayed up all the way until 2+ on purpose so that i would sleep that night. I did manage to fall asleep for that day. But it made me exceedingly tired to stay up so i didnt continue trying to stay up just to fall asleep.

I don't know whats wrong with me, I must let you know, I don't take afternoon naps! And I don't have a strangely reversed sleeping clock or something like that. I'm forcing myself to stay awake now and not nap so that hopefully tonight I will sleep. It's so tiring. I cant concentrate on any work. I'm just brain dead.

At least I'm sure I don't have the terrible Fatal Familial Insomnia disease. It's horrible. It starts affecting its victims at the later stages of life and the person just slowly becomes unable to sleep. The exhaustion then makes them unable to speak, unable to walk, unable to eat. Everything just fades away. They become delirious in their half-awake state, nothing makes sense anymore. After 3 long months of suffering from exhaustion, they finally die of fatigue. It's a hereditary disease and its autosomal dominant so offspring have a 50% chance of inheriting it. Worse, there's no cure.

I just hope tonight I'll sleep, at least, for tonight. I need some strength back. Need to do my KI IS stuff but my brain battery now is so flat. Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a better day, i hope.

my sister thinks we mine gold for a living. She's hardly even making one and yet she keeps talking about going to places like Florence to study. It's Euros mind you!! And then my oldest sis happily swings along saying we can all be penniless and then you[meaning me] and cor[meaning my brother] can support the family.

Irresponsible toots who only think for themselves!!

Such lofty dreams that can only be achieved at the expense of others'! I have long given up on my hopes to doing what i want. Not like that will make me happy knowing I will be making a such a selfish choice.

Everyone says we should reach for our dreams and not give up on them and stuff. But not like you can just do what you want without giving a hoot about the people you should be responsible for.

I won't chase my dreams blindly.

Yay! Today was a nice day out with Huiwei first then Xiu Rong!

Met huiwei in the morning to get presents for xiu rong! We didn't tell xiu rong so it would be a surprise! [how apt since we gave her "supplies!"] Anyway we went to place that we shall not reveal and bought her like THREE SETS OF CLOTHING. Walked sooo long to find the right stuff. We searched for round 2 and a half hours and then went to have luncheon at fareast [where we were gonna meet xiu rong to get ANOTHER present for ANOTHER person] We had shrooms meal cuz it was the cheapest we could find especially after all the present buying, we had to have a budget lunch.

Anyway so we met xiu rong and sang her a birthday song with her "cake"! And she made a wish and blew out her "candles"! Yayy. Then we gave her her present and it was all very nice and exciting.

So after that we set out to buy present for person no.2~ Managed to find something nice too! And then it rainedd as we went home.

cool. CTs are over. And i'm cleaning my table. I found something interesting, its my diary with my transition state from primary school to secondary 1. And it's quite angsty. heh. Oh theres something lame in it, about orientation:

"Today we were supposed to say our names and tell the class what we did that we thought was uncommon. I knew i was going to say this: "I'm desiree and i like to imagine create and draw all kinds of weird things." I was going to say that, but i was scared, nothing came out. I only managed the first two words... I feel like Charlie Gordon in Flowers for Algernon"

Even now I doubt I would have been able to make an introduction like that anyway. And i feel so stupid now, i haven't read a book for a long time.

Lol, heres another:
"It's always normal to fight. We do it all the time. We don't usually make friends, we make peace." [my view on guys]

and:
"What shall i do about Public speaking? Prepare a wonderful speech and be too afraid to read it. No! I will... I will read it. but I'm quiet. I cant become noisy."

Omg. My diary is hilarious:
"I saw [i think i shall protect his identity] at the bus stop. Or rather, girlgirl. He did something sick. I dunno if he was doing to me or what but he unbuttoned 1st button. Normal. Then he opened his shirt like holding the buttoning sides and pulling them outwards. The he looked so sick. Anyway he looked at me while doing that. Not fun. Anyway he looked more like a girl than ever when he did that. I cant explain how sick i felt after seeing that. Goodness. He gave a really guy look. That's what's so sick. He shouldnt do that with a girl face..."

Reading my diary, i can see that i'm definitely not the me i was then, now. I've become noisy. Dam. When did that even start?
My diaries are the ultimate emo shyt. Keep talking about going to kill myself and so on.
But now, well i guess my parents changed, the people around me changed.
It became okay to live.

I also found out that my grandfather died on the exact same day i was born. Maybe that's why my life is so cursed.

I'm glad i kept a diary cuz now i have a 6 year old dead fir tree leaf from christmas.

Oh and i can see that i really hated guys like to the ultimate unbeatable extent. Always say "yucks" when so and so says so and so like you so and so on. I think i was ready to become a nun then.

There's also this line that says:
"i gave a bashing to [pri sch guy] for telling [pri sch guy] my phone number."

Ever since i came to NJ i stopped hitting people[maybe a bit in IP1]. I guess it's a good thing but sometimes they really deserve some pain! And i also started talking only in NJ. NJ made me change a lot.

Anyway i shall end off on a more positive line that i wrote, being quite an animal fanatic.
"I hope this book will make people not harm foxes and forgive the foxes for stealing the turkey. Afterall, it's their lifestyle"

Invitational Shoot today was GOOD!

I took up at least 7 different duties throughout the course of the event! How enriching and exciting! I'm not being sarcastic! Here is the breakdown!

1. Secretary: Take down minutes and find sponsors
2. Help paint banner [YEA im proud of my trailblazer logo! I must show it to Kaisheng.]
3. Go get challenge trophy from Mr. Lee
4. Scoring duty
5. Range officer duty
6. Run and buy gift for guest of honour with nicole and wrap it
7. Pass medals to guest of honour

I have no idea whose Job it was to get the challenge trophy but xiu rong just called me at 1+ on monday to go get it from Mr. Lee at 5+ on the same day! Wa piang! Why so last minute one! Anyway, it wasnt a bad experience.

I decided scoring was quite enjoyable so i stayed in the room all day long helping xiu rong who was pretending not to be stressed [yes, fly away to thailand so you wont see this and scold me anytime soon!] except at the third detail where i went out to watch wenying shoot. She shot uber well. Nuff Tuff Fluff Luff said.

The teachers decided that bouquets werent enough for the guest of honour so nicole and I flew away to find a gift! We settled for choco cuz there was nothing else nearby! It is quite a considerably rural area there at CDANS... Anyway we had to fly back in the cab cuz the guest of honour was coming in 10 minutes and we had to wrap the present, make a bow and balh blah blahe.

Afters we took pictures non stop because Qiaowei just kept setting the timer on her camera to shoot off while we waited for Yan Hui and Shermain to be done with their superior talk with the guest of honour, vice principal and friends.

And finally to end off, pastamania dinner with rifle boys, rifle girls and pistol boys where it was revealed to us many interesting stories about the junior level! My oh my. I didnt know such funky stuff existed.

Well, i must congratulate Yan Hui for doing a good job in being the overall IC of this invitational shoot! Yayyy [i hope she is glad to have been given the chance too C:]

Happy fun and mince beans with gloomy flavour cheese apple pasta hamster.

well i guess some errands are worth running, but still, my appetite is not back yet. There was a funny uncle at the place where i went to find Mr.Lee. He saw that i was bored waiting for him so he told me a lot of lame stuff and gave me haw candy. Ops. i forgot that i wasnt supposed to take candy from strangers.

Everyone seems to be gone. There's no one to talk to. Life is so bleak.

I wonder how the creases on my hands came about. If i kept my palms open for the longest time would those creases go away? I wonder i wonder.

sigh do i really have nothing better to do than do slave labour for people. Just came back from buying lunch for starving people who would rather starve than go get food. Have to go run another errand later in the midst of my attempts to do my IS.

Knowing seems to hurt me. Not knowing would not have killed me. But still i chose to know.

In what way would it be sad not to be able to feel? I think i would like it very much, although if it was, i would not have to think about whether i like it or not, because i would not feel anything about not feeling anything, which would make everything much much better.
I do not want to feel anything.

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My days have been filled to the brim since Friday. Archery invitationals on friday and saturday and adidas sundown on saturday night and mega ip bbq on sunday and piano on monday morning. So i have been out of the house since the wee hours of the morning to the wee hours at night for many days.

I wont say it hasnt been fun but i ought to be doing things i ought to be doing now.

Yes i really must be getting to it.

Yet my state of mind right now does not put me in the right condition. I am tired, i don't feel like doing anything.