cool. CTs are over. And i'm cleaning my table. I found something interesting, its my diary with my transition state from primary school to secondary 1. And it's quite angsty. heh. Oh theres something lame in it, about orientation:

"Today we were supposed to say our names and tell the class what we did that we thought was uncommon. I knew i was going to say this: "I'm desiree and i like to imagine create and draw all kinds of weird things." I was going to say that, but i was scared, nothing came out. I only managed the first two words... I feel like Charlie Gordon in Flowers for Algernon"

Even now I doubt I would have been able to make an introduction like that anyway. And i feel so stupid now, i haven't read a book for a long time.

Lol, heres another:
"It's always normal to fight. We do it all the time. We don't usually make friends, we make peace." [my view on guys]

and:
"What shall i do about Public speaking? Prepare a wonderful speech and be too afraid to read it. No! I will... I will read it. but I'm quiet. I cant become noisy."

Omg. My diary is hilarious:
"I saw [i think i shall protect his identity] at the bus stop. Or rather, girlgirl. He did something sick. I dunno if he was doing to me or what but he unbuttoned 1st button. Normal. Then he opened his shirt like holding the buttoning sides and pulling them outwards. The he looked so sick. Anyway he looked at me while doing that. Not fun. Anyway he looked more like a girl than ever when he did that. I cant explain how sick i felt after seeing that. Goodness. He gave a really guy look. That's what's so sick. He shouldnt do that with a girl face..."

Reading my diary, i can see that i'm definitely not the me i was then, now. I've become noisy. Dam. When did that even start?
My diaries are the ultimate emo shyt. Keep talking about going to kill myself and so on.
But now, well i guess my parents changed, the people around me changed.
It became okay to live.

I also found out that my grandfather died on the exact same day i was born. Maybe that's why my life is so cursed.

I'm glad i kept a diary cuz now i have a 6 year old dead fir tree leaf from christmas.

Oh and i can see that i really hated guys like to the ultimate unbeatable extent. Always say "yucks" when so and so says so and so like you so and so on. I think i was ready to become a nun then.

There's also this line that says:
"i gave a bashing to [pri sch guy] for telling [pri sch guy] my phone number."

Ever since i came to NJ i stopped hitting people[maybe a bit in IP1]. I guess it's a good thing but sometimes they really deserve some pain! And i also started talking only in NJ. NJ made me change a lot.

Anyway i shall end off on a more positive line that i wrote, being quite an animal fanatic.
"I hope this book will make people not harm foxes and forgive the foxes for stealing the turkey. Afterall, it's their lifestyle"