sigh do i really have nothing better to do than do slave labour for people. Just came back from buying lunch for starving people who would rather starve than go get food. Have to go run another errand later in the midst of my attempts to do my IS.

Knowing seems to hurt me. Not knowing would not have killed me. But still i chose to know.

In what way would it be sad not to be able to feel? I think i would like it very much, although if it was, i would not have to think about whether i like it or not, because i would not feel anything about not feeling anything, which would make everything much much better.
I do not want to feel anything.

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My days have been filled to the brim since Friday. Archery invitationals on friday and saturday and adidas sundown on saturday night and mega ip bbq on sunday and piano on monday morning. So i have been out of the house since the wee hours of the morning to the wee hours at night for many days.

I wont say it hasnt been fun but i ought to be doing things i ought to be doing now.

Yes i really must be getting to it.

Yet my state of mind right now does not put me in the right condition. I am tired, i don't feel like doing anything.