The bludy little brat is seriously incorrigble. I'm literally growing old teaching her. I just don't wanna waste my time and brain cells anymore. Shou bu liao!!! Go be a roadsweeper la!! Oh wait. I think even road sweeper also smarter than you can.

i feel i must just press on, but how much can i cope with?

At least even if you don't care,
there's always someone else out there.

China student interesting-nesses:

"ni qiao!" instead of "ni kan"

an insistence on how impossible it is that in the math book drawings the marbles can be stacked up.

Drawing tissue paper between the hand holding the ice cream! And drawing the nails on the hand.

All these are so interesting to me! :D

Wa my First Time opening the shop all alone was stressful to the max!! I had a couple of mini accidents and I even forgot how to work the cash register for a moment. My fingers were quivering as I manually calculated the change for the first customer of the day, after which I peered at the cash register and figured out what I missed. While I was facing in inside cleaning the prep area, mr ang moh customer suddenly said hi! And I totally Jumped! And he was like oh sorry! There was so much to do suddenly, with only 1 person around. The last person yesterday also didn't leave plain yoghurt for me and I had to do a new mix too! The canned longans were spoilt and I had to poison myself with two for testing before proceeding to open a new can and cut those squishy bodies into halves. At the same time, there were customers trickling in slowly and I was glad when lady boss suddenly appeared! Oh, rescue! Life was a little better, then other helper came and life was very good. All in all a very eye opening experience, and I hope next week I will do better!

Bonne chance to me!

There are tears all over my face,
all over the place,
but nothing changes the fact that I have to keep running this race...

Aw. The china boy asked me to come 20 min earlier tmr for lesson cuz he wants to study longer! "duo jiao wo yi hui-er ma~" he says with an innocent tone. And of course I will cuz he's not a little brat. Gah really can't stand teaching that little brat. She is incorigible! Let mr have patience today or I will surely have her eyeballs rolling on the floor by eight o clock. *takes deep breath* here I go.

Aiya laining again!

My frozen yoghurt dispensing is getting better! Can make cute swirlies now yay! I'm le hungry... Had a small yoghurt when I left work but it has since dissolved. Have got 10min to eat before I must trot off to tuition. Come soon oh much desired food!

Ah, as I predicted, it's raining! And heavily too. But not a fantastic guess as it's been raining every day. Ever since my first tuition lesson on Wednesday where I walked through the storm, Stirring my feet in deep waters along the thin drowning path, it's been raining for every lesson after. Thursday and Friday were even more zhun. 3pm in the afternoon it rains. Today is considered early! Not even 2:30... Rain rain rain. My shoes get soggified one after another! Sigh. And I can't wear slippers.

It's fun working at red mango! A bit stressful when there are many customers and I'm trying to read the itsy words on the cash register, but fun nonetheless. Fun and refreshing and healthy! Yea, I'm working there cuz I have tuition and can't do other proper jobs. My sis is also working there, which is why I got to know of it.

There are so many things to remember, I hope I dont screw up the machine...

Anyway it's only 4 hours of my morning each time and only 2-3 days a week so life is good and fair. Tuition tuition here cometh I...

Oh by the way, yesterday, the brat was worse than she'd ever been. Gosh. Imagine the levels of bratness little squits can reach. Hers is like level 100 and advanced. She just decided not to do anymore work halfway and just there. Her grandfather came to intervene, and she just said she didn't want to learn anymore. Just saying no to everything. It was dam irritating and the grandpa walked away saying wa jia lat. If he jia lat then I what man... Siao, I'm not school discipline mistress leh, ask me discipline the kid.
The mom came back and 'told her off' all smiles and strawberries and I went home 8 minutes later. -.- wa almost cannot Taganrog that bratty kid! She learns nothing! Cept that she can get her way all the time!

Well at least she's paying for my food and transport -.-

She said always look forward, then things won't feel so bad. But it's the past I miss and I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing but my own eventful life, without your share in it.

Can I keep on sacrificing more than I can give?

I'm being eaten chunk by chunk.

And taste bitter.

My new student is a china boy! Tian ah, i most certainly did not expect a pure china-Chinese speaking cherubic little tear-drop eyed boy. He is the poster face of a seven year old china boy. Chubby and bald. Conversing with him, I feel like I'm talking to the class china scholars all over again! I'm teaching him English of course, crazy hard cuz my Chinese is near crap. But quite good cuz I can expand my Chinese vocab teaching him! It reminds me of the days I wrote the English meanings beside the Chinese words in the helping box, for filling in the blanks later. Now he does just the opposite! Write the chinese version of the English word! Thus I learnt what stuff like plumber, carpenter, etc is in Chinese. Yes, I never knew it before okay.

Today was a good lesson. He is very entertaining in his hand actions. He was telling me how his teacher only gave them 30seconds to use the bathroom in strongly accented china-nese (yerng tao instead of ying tao).

Oh but I super like his house downstairs. There's ntuc, watsons, guardian, 7eleven and even a sushi shop! Waa dam nice for a small little neighbourhood leh! Millions of things to satisfy my eager eyes! I just took a trip around the ntuc. Just gotta love supermarkets. More interesting than arcades lor. One day I'll memorize every item and their prices and recite them for fun.

I'm so glad it's so interesting around there since the lessons are 5 days a week and thankfully, 15min walk from my house.

Ahh have to start walking to tanah mrt soon for ze little brat's tuition! I got pink Easter eggs (dammit it was so ex) to bribe her and hopefully make my life easier.

Tut tut it looks like rain~

I am a-waiting to watch my 3rd movie this weekend. (seraiously nothing better to do hor) yesterday we watched kidnapper and how to train your dragon. The former was quite traumatic and the latter was ecstatic. ok no sense but the point is how to train your dragon was super nice! Especially the 3D effect of it all, properly made used of unlike in Alice in wonderland where barely anything was even close to being worthy of the effect. The humans were butt ugly as always, but the main dragon was cute, and that was enough. The boy's father looks just like obelisk. So yes, if you want to have a better day, watch that movie. Not kidnapper. That was heart wrenching and tear jerking for me! Gosh, not a movie has pushed me to such limits since what was it - bridge to terabithia. Since the days of watching penguins be eaten by killer whales(and having to chose which was cuter after witnessing such savage nature) I have not easily wept from the effect of a tragic scene!

*spoiler ahead*
the scene btw, was the one where he beat up the suay chap who tried to steal his cab earnings, while shouting that the $ was to save his son.
*end spoiler*

yup.
Watch how to train your dragon!

As I fail to fall asleep despite having retired to bed about an hour ago, I have no choice but to sit up again, do something else and later repeat the cycle again with one hopeful success of an attempt. I know not why such a simple action leaves me in such great difficulty. It tires me to try yet ironically I am trying to ease my tiredness. This late sleeping makes me lethargic in the day yet as I try to solve the problem, I achieve nothing but more failure. I need some kind of escape! I wish I could find a way without the bodily pollution of sleeping pills and the like. I feel I have nothing on my mind! But my subconscious tells me otherwise. What more is there to be done? I just want to fall asleep. What about that could prove so hard?

On a side note, reading Sherlock holmes, I have realized that the movie somewhat presents quite an accurate picture of him! He is clearly more eccentric than we could have imagined... Huiwei! If you read this, really the movie is quite accurate... On another note, sir Arthur conan Doyle uses such formidable vocabulary that I can hardly keep up with 3/4 of the words more than 6 letters long. I understand little of the content but make up for that with the simpler words. Perhaps my inability to sleep is due to being overwhelmed by his profoundity. No reading before bedtime.

On a last note.
If a man be precipitated by a train, let fire be stung by the rain.

Time for sleeping attempt II.

Oh yes, forgot to mention... The hammie died on 11th March. He was still so adorable, I found him sitting in the 1st story orange bowl after returning home from work. It was as if he crawled in there purposely, as his resting place. I took him out cuz i was gonna feed him his meds [which i had been doing successfully for the past 2 days because he struggled very little]... I sorta had a fear he might be dead cuz there was no movement as i lifted the little bowl out from the cage. I poked his ear, and there was no response. I poked him and well, it was clear he had entered a never-waking sleep. I was so sad at that moment i just wept and stroked his tiny fragile little back, feeling so sorry for him and how weak he had been looking. The swell looked better, but i have a feeling he died from lack of food, being unable to eat with such a swell in the way. He refused drink though, so i can't be so sure why he died.

Anyway i buried him downstairs in a little hole, his body still soft, probably died not too long ago before i found him.

welcoming a new phase of life once more...

Changing job, again! This time trying what i would never have ever thought of trying in my long, sad, anti-social life. It couldn't be that bad, i must tell myself. Afterall, ahrong is just around the corner from my workplace! Okay, not really just around the corner but like relatively near so i won't be luncheoning alone hopefully!

First time that my job needs actual office clothes, sadly, thus i have to be poor before i can earn anything. My grand total of office clothes was 1 yesterday[purposely buy for such office-type interviews then forever wear the same thing] and now its 2 today cuz i had to buy another one for tomorrow. Ah. I need at least 4 to last me through a week of work. So i shall have to get two more and then keep recycling them, wohoho. Imagine wearing the same 4 sets of office clothes for 4 months. Sian or not sian! Of cuz sian! Far cry from being able to wear class-tee and jeans to work can.

The job is very strict, no handphones during working hours, they have to be permanently locked away in the lockers. It's even emphasized that only ENGLISH is allowed. Every minute late for work is $5 penalty and 15min and thereafter is $10! It's just gonna be work work work until 6:30pm and disappear.

I am reading Sherlock Holmes because i am clearly becoming stupider with each passing moment. I hardly write, or blog, for that matter [and i will try to do so more often to train my brain] and this has undoubtedly led to me slowing down in my ability to express myself as freely as before. I even got tricked by anna's lame joke [which mouse walks on 2 legs? ... which dog walks on 2 legs? ... which duck...] okay, shan't reveal too much in case he wants to trick more people like me.

I shall write more! Hopefully that will be a possible cure!

CHEESEBURGER ENLISTED TODAY.

sigh. but it was kinda like a normal event overall. He'll only be there for 10 days and then will be out every weekend. Plus being able to call back everyday is not so bad. And he'll be fine. i went with his mom dad and bro to see him off.

his mom came to fetch me supposedly at 6:30am but the alarm clock didnt ring and her phone call woke me at 6:36am -.- siann. Anyway i was downstairs by 6:45am. fast right. Anyways we went for breakfast first, then off to the ulu place.

They had like a tour[and ZESTIN was our tour guide. coincidentally -.-] and performances for us from 9am+ while making the guys strip somewhere else secretly to check for any hidden evil items. Well they didn't tell the parents they were bringing their kids away to be stripped of course, cheeseburger just told me later when we met up again with them at 11pm to eat army lunch. His parents told us to go walk somewhere and then come back for him to fall in at 12 but he spent half the time re-wearing his shoes and socks that his bro called and said everyone was falling in, though it was only 11:30am. So we went back and he just went off and his mom was sad cuz she didnt get to say goodbye. So we ended up getting special permission from the inspector to let us follow them all the way to the multi purpose hall[of course we stayed outside], where he was called out and they had their goodbyes and then we left. I hope that didnt make him get singled out.

After that his dad insisted on getting something to eat, cuz i guess he was hungry, so we had some anpang yong tau foo[i kept thinking of anpan breadman everytime they said that] which they said is the malaysian style of yong tau foo. It was okay, nth much about it, they just wanted me and cheeseburger's bro to try it.

Cheeseburger's mom then had to visit like 10 000 banks so i waited for her in the car while needing to answer an emergency call of nature, which i did get a chance to, thankfully. And then she sent me home.

Fed Run his meds and then went for piano.

Yea i brought my sis's hammie to the vet yesterday morn. He has an abcess growing near his mouth, pushing everything to the left side. It looks so bad i feel so sad looking at him.He looks like a manatee, or a moomin. It's swollen up on the right side of his mouth and nose area and the vet said its hardened pus inside and she tried to scrape out quite a bit of it. It was like mozarella in the hammie's cheek. And there was blood. I don't know how she does it, she just held the hammie in a cloth in one hand, covering its whole body and eyes, revealing only the mouth. She poked about in its mouth while it wiggled, but she somehow managed to keep it in that position!! I need to learn that cuz i have a hard time trying to feed him his meds from a syringe. I need to do it twice a day. one is 0.02ml and the other is 0.05ml. It's SO little i can barely tell if it even went into his mouth cuz even a nudge to the syringe already dispenses that tiny amount. I'm pretty sure he licked up the liquid though, before knowing what it was. Good thing the amount was so tiny cuz he refused to have anymore. I tried holding him in the cloth way but he kept wiggling out, so i guess i just have to keep trying. My sis said to get him grasshoppers as a reward for eating his meds but i'm scared they might get stuck in his abcess.

The vet said the meds wouldnt be able to reach the hardened area though, cuz its already hardened... So the only way would be through surgery, which would involve general anaesthesia, which the tiny little thing might not wake up from. Sad sad fact. I left it to my sis to decide and she doesnt want it to risk dying so we're just trying out the meds for now. The vet tried to remove as much cheese as she could and man was there alot.. she just used a cotton swab and dug and out came lumps of bloody cheese. That swabbing cost $10 on top of the consultation and meds. The whole thing came up to $40.70. People might wonder why spend such a huge amount that can be used to buy 4 hamsters! It should be understandable that Run is our precious little hamster and we can't just leave him like that suffering... He looks sooo ke lian.

Anyway im feeding the meds cuz my sis is not in singapore -.- nvm. is a good experience.

Oh there was a mushroom that grew overnight in Burger's cage yesterday night. Dam gross and smelt like a dam strong pungent raw wild mushroom after my mom pulled it out. It wasn't there last night when i re-filled her waterbottle!! Gosh. I had such a huge shock man. It wasn't just any mushroom it was a long headed whitish greenish mushroom standing tall and proud amongst the hay!! Thankfully it was in good shape, meaning Burger hadn't gone and tasted it, so i immediately threw out all the bedding and cleaned out the entire cage. So er xin i'm cleaning her cage twice a week from now on. Probably the water that dripped out from her bottle helped it grow cuz it was standing right in front of the bottle.

okay. enough of my epic life.

im at work.

work is funny. kindergarten kids are SO cute as long as you're not teaching them.

Teacher: nobody nobody but you!

kids: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA *chorus of laughter*

Teacher: nobody nobody but you!

kids: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA *chorus of laughter*

Teacher: nobody nobody but you!

kids: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA *chorus of laughter*

repeat a few times.

they never seem to get tired of anything. lol.

Today is Lunar New Year and also Valentine's day! Don't know if such a coincidence would ever happen again, but anyway it did happen this year, but it worked out just fine for me.

It's always the same old routine every time for me, so nothing much to talk about. The only interesting thing that happened is my bro's hair got burnt off by someone's joss stick at the temple. Like seriously, a bunch of it got fried and broken off. How sad right. My bro doesnt wanna go back there anymore.

Visited cheeseburger's grandmother's house for the first time, where his mom's older and one younger sis was there, and her sister's husband, and his cousins and his grandmother. Gonna take me a while to get used to these new people. It was pretty weird, as expected. I didnt really know what to do and cheeseburger wasnt really helping so i just stoned on the sofa.

His mom fetched us to our Vdae dinner which was alright but not that fantastic[meaning the food was not that great] but anyway it was the company that mattered more!

We only won a snoopy head from prize stage this time, but as usual, we didn't leave empty handed, which would be inauspicious anyway! The machine kept jamming up and getting error, the guy pleaded us to play another machine, so we did.

There wasn't much else to do, cept that cheeseburger ate a lot and is really gonna get fat at that rate!

I'm super sleepy.
I hope these happy days last forever and a year.


so they sailed away for a year and a day...

Yesterday was fun.



Went on Chinatown field trip with a bunch of little wobbly human beings and it was an entertaining experience. quite.



It was fun for the most part, kids scooting away and you, having been assigned 4 of them, had to run after them and drag them back by the threads of their thick orange collars. The weather was stuffy like being trapped in a huge cotton ball but the shops were selling stuffs which shimmered in the light of the sun, a pretty sight to behold one's vision, almost completely blurred from the shadows of sneaking children. Chattering, laughing, squeaking were most of the sound effects heard and nice uncles from candy stores donated candies to us poor starving kids.



The only sad sad sight was of the old lady, which we saw as we turned the corner to the Chinatown MRT lift. The lady had bumped her head, i presume [it is unlikely she fell, as the others said] because her head was leaking blood at the speed of when one fills a bathtub with warm water, but the rest of her was fine. The blood was so much it soaked up an entire hankerchief and a millions tissues and i kid you not, it was trickling down her face like the morning dew off a leaf too weak to hold anymore of that weight.



I was quite traumatised by that incident, close to tears [stopping myself because I was supposed to be a grown up and a 'teacher' and not to appear weak in front of little frightened children]. I just don't understand why the teachers let the children watch. They seemed quite afraid, making tiny comments[she fall down?] in apprehensive tones, like they were afraid the lady would hear them, I don't know why. We moved on soon, after an ambulance was called, and all was well again with the children, the incident seemed to have slipped through the tunnels in their minds and out of their ears in 3 seconds. Maybe it slipped out.. but maybe it was just tucked away into a hidden corner of their minds, ready to escape at any trigger?

oh well, i don't know. Maybe it's better not to ponder so much.


I couldn't sleep last night, as usual, my head was filled with sounds of children talking and teachers shouting. Sigh. I kept telling it to shutup and go away, but it wouldn't and so i didn't sleep. And so my eyeballs are gonna fall out of my sockets in a moment or too.

Wait. This was supposed to be a happy post!

Well, I had a lot of fun yesterday, despite the scary incidents along the way, but it all ended well *schmiles.*

never been so sure

or at peace.


Or maybe i have

too long ago.