why. why is time passing again. Why.

I want time to stand still. The moment i let go.

before i am conscious again.

I wish i could be ignorant about this. A nothing that would feel nothing. Accomplished the former. Somehow i havent figured out how to do the next.

And then the stars hang in the sky like they did something wrong but they never did.
There was a rock that made my mind trip.

This is why.

- Cause obviously it's out of my league

And I know I never will be good enough for ... - mcfly - Obviously

Nothing much seems to have changed
since the time when you first came
And strongly took my hand in yours
and softly spoke my name.

Mysterious figure in the crowd
at the carnival you shout
my name and then i turn and see
you reveal your identity

T'was once when i received your care
I was down and you were there
Comfort in your words i found
a guardian angel from nowhere

Yet now i am to avoid your gaze
My eyes try not to see your face
I'd rather choose to live a lie
Than get you trapped here in this maze

What's on your mind im wondering
What is it that you're pondering
it may be worrying, but i know
that jokes are never genuine.

So leave you to your life i will,
Though you linger in my thoughts still
i hope that maybe day by day
the thoughts will slowly fade away.

Keep denying myself
And maybe it will come true
Though its not a truth
It's a lie that will come through
If i lie for long enough
To myself and survive this bluff
Deny.
deny.
Tell myself the truth's a lie
Make the lie a truth, just
deny.

i must write about sunday! since i havent, and since it was such a good day.

we had a class gathering and it was steamboat at lava's house. at first i went to vivo but it was too early so i went to xiu rong's house, wherein i met my new friend, stripey yellow cat[a larger sized bought-in-japan version of small yellow cat that i have]. yes it was sitting on the table innocently when i picked it up after which xiu rong told me that was for me. and then there was this tube of mini m&ms, and it was 3/4 empty. Xiu rong told me she had bought it for me initially but it couldnt fit in the wrapping so she ate it!! she ate it!! :O and she bought meiji milk for me, but realised it was coffee flavoured so she drank it!! yes she did! :S

anyway after that we went to meet everyone else at vivo and i saw one of my ex-classmates there too. got uber cute stufftoy and stamp thingy from kristy and minlu. then huiwei kept boasting about her giant rabbit that she bought although xiu rong insisted that hers was the pirated version of hers[xr's].

when we got to lava's house, i met my other new friends, giant yellow rabbit and giant tofuman. now i have 5 of the lengthy-limbed critters at home! gosh. huiwei didnt know i have a giant green rabbit! but nvm its so uber cute it doesnt matter how many there are. giant tofuman was given by the scholarly group of scholars!

we had steamboat and it was rather messy with food being flung left and right and random times where the cover of the pot comes off and one person-in-charge of each side of the table reaches out and grabs food for people on that side of the table. it was really squashy too with people sitting on half a chair with their legs randomly placed above and below but it was all funny and fun :D

zui qiu and his pet dog are so loving

then we went up to the rooftop and... there was a reaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyy nice surprise!! Joyce called huiwei away. i wanted to follow but somehow i didnt. and then huiwei came out carrying a cake!! it was heart-shaped and dark chocolate and hazelnut flavoured!!! my fav flavours!~~ wa, she purposely went to find lehh... and it tasted. AWESOME. it tasted a bit alcohol-ish, but it could be the weird fruits inside [couldnt tell it was rather pitch dark.] then we lighted tealight candles and carried them around yay, coolest birthday ever.

lousy picture of awesome cake

yea went home after that carrying all my new friends :D

my old friends and new friends

we hold stardust in our hands

plus next day got SEVENTEEN kinder buenos man. jaw drop* so shocked.

anyway, thanks thanks thanks to everyone especially huiwei who purposely went to find a cake with BOTH my favourite flavours! for the awesomest birthday ever.

tealight candle '04'

start the day with C:




end the day with :CCCCC


how to have a C: and make it last?

C:

thank you everyone

sent gen off today :C she's gone to australia!! 21/27 of the 2K people turned up, it was like a class gathering :D how nice. Some people are like MONSTROUSLY tall now man... gosh, its seriously. shooting up. And im the shortest among everyone. hooray. lalala.

anyway, hope she has a good future there. farewellfarewell genevieve...

Ok, just returned home from talent time. It was awesome! Very very nice. The guy who came out first, the guest performer was sooo uber good with the jazz guitar. make you feel like a total loser failure. but nvm. After that came the solo singers. The best was sheena of course, her voice is so dam powerful. and she won for that category. then there was this Chester guy, who was the scary guy i taught how to shoot!! I got such a big shock when i saw it was him man... was like totally O_O *jaw drop* "thats the scary guy!!!!" His voice also dam good although he looks like a cartoon character, and he got second.
The bands were ok. Andy's band was the best, the rest were a bit messy at some point. The different instruments didnt seem to be very coherent with each other. And Andy's band won.
The group vocals about the same as solo, just with more people. So nothing much special either.
But watching the whole thing was really really nice. yay. ended up reaching home at around 1130 though :C sadness. Why cant i just teleport home...

White-winged angel shoot your arrow far
Let it fly deep into where the secrets are
Let it strike through the brittle glass, pumping so hard,
Let it strike at the moment when he's caught off-guard.
Let me try, letting go as i watch it soar
Hoping it will hit what it's going for,
Wonder if it'll ever get to make its way in
Why do i always seem to be missing him --

im so glad that when i run.


its fast.

There are monsters out there :'C

time to seal up the box, its already too late but what's done is done, just take the precautions from here. seal it. There will only be scars, endless scars and only they can tell of what's being hidden because they have made the slit and were able to look through the box and see. But as for others, only your imagination can tell. And they will only be plain guessing. the box is sealed. There's nothing more to say. wonder how many out there would wonder, would care?

its time to draw the line.
draw the lines.
draw many lines.
to prevent the secrets from spilling, let something else.

if you dont make the cut, try again.

i watched the mist today. Yay, a horror movie finally. but it was more gory than scary, and it was like the dreamcatcher. but anyway, if you dont wanna get it spoiled, then dont continue reading.

i warned you.

THE MIST based on the novella by STEPHEN KING
alright. david is the main character in this story, he's an artist and he has a son, Billy. The movie started out with him painting the gunslinger, from Stephen King's Dark Tower series. There's a storm and he abandons his painting to go hide in the basement[i think] with his wife and sun. A tree falls through the window and smashes the paintings. [the person in front of me jumped in her seat]

Next morning, the family go outside and they see the bad damage done, stuff smashed and so on. Their boathouse got crushed by a tree, which belongs to the guy next door, who is this black guy. Aparently David and this guy have something against each other because of some law suit they had last time, but i didnt quite catch it. anyway, david just wanted to say something about the tree crushing his boat house. They kinda became friendly with each other for a while and the black guy asked for a drive to town.

So David, that guy and Billy went to town in David's car. They went to this convenience store, called a convenience store for a good reason. There was no power and stuff, lots of people were there trying to stock up. Next thing you know, this guy runs in with blood flowing from his nose saying some Jon Lee guy got taken by the mist. There's a mist catching on at this moment, it tumbles through the air towards the convenience store. They rush to close the doors. This guy insists on not staying put and decides to run to his car. Just as the mist closes in, he gets lost in it and you hear like, his screaming. Then nothing. Then there is like this earthquake. Shake shake. Things fall from the shelves. [it's like trying to make the place look messy and chaotic.] Another woman wants to go home to her children. She asks if any man would accompany a lady home, but no one wants to so she steps out the store and goes through the mist. No screaming here.

They're talkin about switching off the generator or something. I dont know but anyway they have to go to the room at the back to do it, so david goes, and after he switches off the thing, he sees like, the metal blinds door [that thing that shops usually pull down when they close i dunno what its called] and its pulsating, liek there's something pushing it. There's a small slit at the bottom where mist is sneaking in through. David hears a sound. He goes outside to tell some worker people that he heard a sound, but they dont believe him. So they all go in. And then they wanna do something to some vehicle outside so this young chap volunteers. David keeps telling them not to but the stupid young chap asks him to shut the * up [cuz he wants to show off how pro he is.]. So they open the metal thing to let him go out. But mist covers the entire exit. The young chap stares at it. The old guys there laugh about how they dont see any boogie mans [or sth] Next thing they know, tentacles shoot out and cling onto the snotty young chap. They have mouths too so they kinda bite him, and their bites rip like this whole section of his skin off so you have a bloody mess of whatever with the fibres of skin hanging off the tantacles. And it bites again! So another patch of bloody mess there. [I dont know why they couldnt just close the metal door thing] David tries to save him, but in the end he gets taken. [Oh, then they finally press the switch to close the door] The old guys are remorseful but one gets punched in the face by David cuz he kept saying sorry too much.

So they were wondering how to tell the others. They tried telling the black man first but he accused them of trying to make a fool of him. They wanted to show him the evidence [David chopped a chunk of tentacle so there's the evidence there] But he refused to see it. dumass. They try to tell the rest of the people in the store, only a few agree to go see the tentacle. Unfortunately, when that group go in, one guy pokes the tentacle and it contracts and kinda deflates and releases a puddle of muck and then disintegrates. Hooray! There goes the evidence. The black guy carries on hollering about how he aint gonna get fooled. And then there's this woman who keeps preaching about how is this punishment from god.

A bunch of people decide to go out and try to do i dont know what and one of them is the black guy. He doesnt believe there's anything out there anyway so yea he goes out. Another guy gets a rope tied to him while he goes out. So they go out.. walk walk walk.. then suddenly the rope gets pulled by whatever's out there and David gets some bad rope burns. Someone throws him a cloth. They try to pull the guy back but all they get is blood on the rope.. and the lower half of his body.

Whee. then what happened hmmm... They covered the windows with dog food and fertilizers, but they only covered half the windows so its kinda pointless. At night, suddenly there's an attack of giant flies. Then there are these pterodactyl things that fly and try to grab the flies that land on the glass windows of the shop front. When they grab the flies, they kinda hit against the glass so finally, it broke. The flies flew in and one of them bit a girl. She got really swollen and gross around the neck and face. It was like, veiny and lumpy and just grotesque.

Then the pterodactyls entered. This guy who was trying to make a fire-mop got himself caught on fire instead so another problem there. One pterodactyl was taken down by fire while another was shot. twice.

Ok so.. the christian woman was preaching on how the bible said there would be like smoke over the temple or something or other and that they all had to stay inside and face judgement. Meanwhile, David and some other guys wanna go to the pharmacy beside the convenience store [which also has a bathroom btw] to get some meds for the dying burnt guy who wants to shoot himself. So they set off. They see a military guy who is caught in a web and hes apologising and saying its their fault i think. Then that guy explodes into a nest of golden spider-looking bugs that start crawling everywhere. Then there are more giant bugs everywhere that start attacking them so they decide to run. This pro old lady who went along set one on fire.

They return, with nothing i think, anyway, skip to the part where the woman now has a congregation. People who thought she was talking nonsense at first now believe her and they all think that they have to undergo punishment. One of the guys see David and a few other guys going into the room with the metal blinds. They're actually looking for the other military people who were in the store to ask them what this was all about and why the guy had to apologise. but the military people had hanged themselves. Then the guy who followed them dragged out the remaining military guy and started sayin that he was the one who caused this. the military guy admitted to saying that there was a project that the scientists were carrying out and they were trying to find a window to the other portals of the world, but it was not his fault at all. That preacher woman started spouting nonsense about how it is his fault and he is 'pointing the finger!' and they should all kill him. So they did. This man took a knife and stabbed him. Once. Again. Again. and then they carried him and threw him out of the store to be taken by the mist monsters. Humans are really the monsters in this movie, rather than those out there.

David and the more sane people want to escape. But the preacher woman found out. She was waiting for them with a knife and there were more people with knives that were surrounding them and preventing them from leaving. She was saying that they should not go against god's will and that they should be killed! She said she proved herself to be a vassal of god. But one of the sane guys shot her. And the people in the cinema clapped. Shot her in the abdomen and in the forehead. The people with knives dropped them and David and his party ran out the store to his car. Of course on the way there more got taken by huge monsters, some with great pincers. So there were left with 5 of them that made it to the car. David, his son, the old lady, a young lady and an old man. All the variations of people.

They drove and drove and drove. Drove back to David's home where they saw that his wife had been caught in a web through the hole where the window had broken. Then they continued on and there was this giant monster with a tentacle-ly head and uber long legs, like a giant daddy-long-legs that walked past them. It was like the thing in star wars but i dont know what its called. So anyway they drive till there's no more gas. Then they decide to shoot themselves. But there are only 4 bullets, for 5 people. Whoohoo. David shoots everyone but himself. He keeps screaming, and then he goes out the car and calls for the monsters to take him. Buuuuutt instead, a tank comes. The mist clears. Everything is fine now. POOR DAVID. He just killed his own son and stuff and the next second, everything clears up. A truck with people drive past and on it there's the woman who left the store earlier, the one who asked for a man to accompany a lady. So poor david has to live with the guilt forever now or kill himself.

And that's like, the end! Ok, in my summary it just sounds quite stupid but its quite nice still, the movie, its creepy and gory. Maybe you should just go watch it if you wanna know really, the whole thing, cuz i might have left out quite a bit. Another way is, go read the book. But the book ends differently so yea, this is how the movie is like.

its really sad... sometimes when you really want something.. but you cant get it... you can get it but you cant becuz it might seem youre just trying too hard.. so you dont want to try get it but want it to get to you... like that would ever happen.

why does life have to be so wrong for some?

"Ever had the feeling, you thought you're awake but it turns out you're dreaming?"

what a sleepy day it was. On the train back, standing, i think i almost fell asleep. alighted at raffles place instead of city hall [becuz somehow that moment where the train stopped at city hall did not take place in my consciousness]. And then at raffles place i almost took the train towards jurong east :/ instead of towards pasir ris... luckily the train towards pasir ris came first so i turned and looked at it... and saw that i was gonna take the wrong train... zzz


---------------------------------------
heart beating so hard
without even knowing it
Shown what was felt inside
without even showing it
Supposed to have stopped but it's
growing it's growing it's
without any thought, its just not gonna stop.
---------------------------------------------------------

mini kinder buenos so cute right. TOO BAD CANT EAT LE. SICK. DIE.

Why don’t you smile as much as before
Be the happy girl that you know you are
You still have your friends around you and
You know love still surrounds you,
Can you pick yourself up again?
In life we still have much to gain
Memories, experiences
Overcoming the dangers
Learning different lessons
Together with your friends
Though that which has passed left a scar on your heart
And things don’t seem to fit
If there’s still love somewhere to find
You don’t need that thing to seal it
Please don’t be so sad
Though you feel your loss is bad
Please don’t be so sad...
There’s more to life than that

For... 你自己应该知道啦hor.

C:

song change: evil angel by breaking benjamin