i was crawling my way there, you helped me up. i can trust you more than anyone in the world.
i did something stupid today. Didn't know lit lecture started at 10 instead of 1030.. nobody told me!!! stupid la. i realised that there were no lit people around belatedly. called some but no answer. Finally crispy called me back -.- told me the shocking news. and i was like dam too late -.- i was just kidding saying its somebody's fault. but not kidding when i said go away.
There was a half/day[it just feels like it should be written like that] anyway. school ended at 11. Dint really feel like a half/day. i hid somewhere outside school to do work. stared at the sun. felt sleepy. tried my best.
hello nightsky. take me somewhere nobody knows about. everywhere i go i see people i know. people i don't know. people i don't want to know.
i dug a 10 feet deep shyt hole for myself and jumped right in. some jumped in tried to save me, but failed. they climbed back out and they were safe.
can't wait to get out of school. once this chapter of life is over, its time to start a new one. And it won't have some people in it, and it won't have some things in it, and that's what i'd want. just to have those special things remain, and the rest, undone.
summary of things i need to do:
1. put photo on eagles form
2. chem section D thing
3. CAAL thing
4. Bio TJC paper 3
5. Play with burger and squall
6. Memorise the ffVII main theme on piano
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
had awesome fun with ahrong, huiwei and fudi yesterday. We went to wild wild wet [which wasnt very wild] first and lazed around in the lazy pool before riding some slides, which were only initially scary. The only really scary and exciting thing was that almost 90 degree drop ride!! I almost died in that float man. My back was facing the drop while xiu rong was facing me... and so i could only mentally prepare myself for what was coming... and then the guy pushed us off and.. i couldnt feel the ground at all as we fell!!! it was such a horrifyingly steep drop i cried out to the heavens save me!! [no i didnt but almost.] Thank goodness it was over in about 30 seconds.. any longer and i would really have twisted some muscle. I was so tense my arm almost cramped and my leg too and i dunno what i did but my neck hurt after that -.- I can't stand this kinda rides[viking is one ride im never gonna sit for the rest of my short, pathetic, meaningless life], but for the sake of this outing, i still tried it! What an accomplishment! Other than that the rest of the time was spent lazing around in random pools. It was a very nice day with very nice weather for being outside. The sun swallowed up by the clouds and the occasional breeze freezing our asses as we climbed the stairs to each slide....
Had to leave at 4 though cuz the bbq people were here with the huo4. We picked up the huo4 and then went back to the chalet room to bathe wash up and stuff. Then waited for the china scholars to arrive.
With the arrival of the china scholars, we could get started! Fire lighting~ whee~ first time i lit the bbq fire! usually its other people taking charge of it but there were only 8 of us there so all of us took turns. I think we were all not very good at it cuz our fire took forever to burn the charcoal! The nice auntie next door came to help us poke around and arrange the charcoal a bit to make it burn better!
One hour later.... aiya just start cooking la so hot liao the fire. So we just started without a care in the world. Started with chicken since chicken would take the longest. Zheyu was our official food tester. He ate everything even if it was blood-red-raw can. Such a scavenger! Whenever we cooked stuff we gave it to him first ahaha.
Halfway through the lot of us got very amused by the flame application on [omg is it yi xian or jie rui i dunno!] that person's phone and spent like 20 minutes trying to put out the flame using all kinds of lame methods. THEN finally we gave up and he showed us and we just had to blow out the flame!! Problem is we already tried that but when we do it it doesnt work!!! raaahh...
Went to room to watch tv for a while after that then the guys wanted to go arcade so we went. 6 of us together played this racing game [datona i believe] and it was my first time!! I chiong-ded like mad cuz i didnt wanna lose and i was in the lead for 7/8 rounds!!! AND THEN ZHEYU THAT GREEN CAR CAME AND CRASHED MY CAR!! rahhh so angry!!! He made me die until the last place can -.- For 2 games i was first until he crashed my car -.- At least the second time i was promoted to 4th place -.-
Then we went to play our favourite many-people-together-game, photohunt and then my favourite arcade game of all time.. throwing bball! Team jiasheng and desiree defeated team huiwei and fudi by a close [i forgot how many insert a number less than 10 here] points! hooray! Although by STAGE 3, my arms were already quite suan [how weak and frail i have become since the time xiu rong and i were forced to play four games straight!] but i think i made a reasonable contribution!
Xiurong huiwei and i then played a cooking game thing under huiwei's recommendation and it was quite fun and jing zhang also but all games played with friends are fun!
Xiurong and i left at 1045pm cuz it was quite late already! The scholars were still mulling over a chinese chess game and virtual tennis so yap, we left first!
Went home dead tired but as usual, not falling asleep until some unthinkable unearthly hour [at least 3am or so] during which i had a dream about being cut to pieces by a madman and then being awoken by various sounds of handphone alarms of the people in the house at 7am and then had to go for piano.
i need sleeping pills!!!
Had to leave at 4 though cuz the bbq people were here with the huo4. We picked up the huo4 and then went back to the chalet room to bathe wash up and stuff. Then waited for the china scholars to arrive.
With the arrival of the china scholars, we could get started! Fire lighting~ whee~ first time i lit the bbq fire! usually its other people taking charge of it but there were only 8 of us there so all of us took turns. I think we were all not very good at it cuz our fire took forever to burn the charcoal! The nice auntie next door came to help us poke around and arrange the charcoal a bit to make it burn better!
One hour later.... aiya just start cooking la so hot liao the fire. So we just started without a care in the world. Started with chicken since chicken would take the longest. Zheyu was our official food tester. He ate everything even if it was blood-red-raw can. Such a scavenger! Whenever we cooked stuff we gave it to him first ahaha.
Halfway through the lot of us got very amused by the flame application on [omg is it yi xian or jie rui i dunno!] that person's phone and spent like 20 minutes trying to put out the flame using all kinds of lame methods. THEN finally we gave up and he showed us and we just had to blow out the flame!! Problem is we already tried that but when we do it it doesnt work!!! raaahh...
Went to room to watch tv for a while after that then the guys wanted to go arcade so we went. 6 of us together played this racing game [datona i believe] and it was my first time!! I chiong-ded like mad cuz i didnt wanna lose and i was in the lead for 7/8 rounds!!! AND THEN ZHEYU THAT GREEN CAR CAME AND CRASHED MY CAR!! rahhh so angry!!! He made me die until the last place can -.- For 2 games i was first until he crashed my car -.- At least the second time i was promoted to 4th place -.-
Then we went to play our favourite many-people-together-game, photohunt and then my favourite arcade game of all time.. throwing bball! Team jiasheng and desiree defeated team huiwei and fudi by a close [i forgot how many insert a number less than 10 here] points! hooray! Although by STAGE 3, my arms were already quite suan [how weak and frail i have become since the time xiu rong and i were forced to play four games straight!] but i think i made a reasonable contribution!
Xiurong huiwei and i then played a cooking game thing under huiwei's recommendation and it was quite fun and jing zhang also but all games played with friends are fun!
Xiurong and i left at 1045pm cuz it was quite late already! The scholars were still mulling over a chinese chess game and virtual tennis so yap, we left first!
Went home dead tired but as usual, not falling asleep until some unthinkable unearthly hour [at least 3am or so] during which i had a dream about being cut to pieces by a madman and then being awoken by various sounds of handphone alarms of the people in the house at 7am and then had to go for piano.
i need sleeping pills!!!
What's this? Perhaps just a feeling i miss. At the same time i think i forgot the feeling. Can't seem to identify it or recognise it. To have someone protect you and look after you is nice, but without obligation, just out of pure kindness of the heart is even nicer.
To you i feel happiness.
To you i feel disappoinment.
To you i feel grateful for your beliefs.
To you i feel isolation.
To you i feel trustworthiness.
To you i feel uncertainty.
To you i feel innocence.
To you i feel awkwardness.
To you i feel friendship forever.
To you i feel distance.
In you i see someone who doesn't need to change.
In you i see someone who wouldn't and shouldn't change for me.
To you i hope you'll find another but we'll always have each other as friends though one day i'll have to leave and leave you two to live your lives.
To you i know you'll probably find another and i'd rather be gone now than stay and watch you playing.
I'd rather have everlasting friendship than a painful romance. There's no alternative.
ming bai ma? i believe wo de peng youz hui ming bai de.
To you i feel happiness.
To you i feel disappoinment.
To you i feel grateful for your beliefs.
To you i feel isolation.
To you i feel trustworthiness.
To you i feel uncertainty.
To you i feel innocence.
To you i feel awkwardness.
To you i feel friendship forever.
To you i feel distance.
In you i see someone who doesn't need to change.
In you i see someone who wouldn't and shouldn't change for me.
To you i hope you'll find another but we'll always have each other as friends though one day i'll have to leave and leave you two to live your lives.
To you i know you'll probably find another and i'd rather be gone now than stay and watch you playing.
I'd rather have everlasting friendship than a painful romance. There's no alternative.
ming bai ma? i believe wo de peng youz hui ming bai de.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
i must write about my terrifying dream! I didnt wake up in cold sweat or anything, but it was really quite scary.
I dreamt that for some reason, my estate was being torn down. Apparently they gave a one week's notice but my family didn't really notice it. We had to pack all our stuff and move out of the house. I think there was a flood coming? Anyway it was horrible cuz they were gonna burn all the stuff we didnt take along with us, and because we had so little time to pack, we couldnt take much stuff along! I remember taking my bio notes, because i have bio mcq tmr! But all my other notes were gonna get burnt! I cant remember what else i took with me...
Anyway we were staying in tents on a field outside and there were a lot of people with they baggage all huddled up together. I had to study for my bio exam in the tent.
Then somehow or another, my sis and I got kidnapped to work in this factory. We had to do some woodwork and the people around were really scary and looked dangerous and had the intention of taking advantage of us. But then before anything happened, it started raining like mad and the streets outside started filling up with water. There were childen stored away in the upper parts of the workhouse, all screaming, and the barrier outside keeping the water out was starting to fail. Water started seeping in through the wooden doors with glass panels. I guess i just stared in horror cuz i didnt know what to do.
Don't remember anymore after that. I should start documenting the number of dreams i have about dying in floods and drowning! Could it be the childhood memory of drowning still haunts me? How's that possible! I got saved.
I suppose drowning's the kind of death i fear most.
Oh i had another insomnia episode on monday! I went to sleep at 1230, got up at around 1:00am, walked around a bit, went back at 1:30, lay on the bed wide awake until 2:30am or so, got up and gave up trying to sleep. Went to listen to siblings talking, yes all of us were awake. They were talking about animes and stuff and then started talking about islands. And then at 4am i was chased to bed by my sis. And at 530am i woke up for school and for bio paper 3 and chem mcq! I lasted through the papers though i was half dead before chem mcq. Cheeseburger suffers from insomniacal problems too but he eats sleeping pills!! My head was swimming by the time chem was over. But xr, charbi, cheese and me still went to eat ice cream to celebrate haha. Then went home... and slept! And slept! Until 5am the next morning[today]! Wa. good cure for insomnia, one day sleep one day don't sleep. Mom refuses to let me eat sleeping pills.
I dreamt that for some reason, my estate was being torn down. Apparently they gave a one week's notice but my family didn't really notice it. We had to pack all our stuff and move out of the house. I think there was a flood coming? Anyway it was horrible cuz they were gonna burn all the stuff we didnt take along with us, and because we had so little time to pack, we couldnt take much stuff along! I remember taking my bio notes, because i have bio mcq tmr! But all my other notes were gonna get burnt! I cant remember what else i took with me...
Anyway we were staying in tents on a field outside and there were a lot of people with they baggage all huddled up together. I had to study for my bio exam in the tent.
Then somehow or another, my sis and I got kidnapped to work in this factory. We had to do some woodwork and the people around were really scary and looked dangerous and had the intention of taking advantage of us. But then before anything happened, it started raining like mad and the streets outside started filling up with water. There were childen stored away in the upper parts of the workhouse, all screaming, and the barrier outside keeping the water out was starting to fail. Water started seeping in through the wooden doors with glass panels. I guess i just stared in horror cuz i didnt know what to do.
Don't remember anymore after that. I should start documenting the number of dreams i have about dying in floods and drowning! Could it be the childhood memory of drowning still haunts me? How's that possible! I got saved.
I suppose drowning's the kind of death i fear most.
Oh i had another insomnia episode on monday! I went to sleep at 1230, got up at around 1:00am, walked around a bit, went back at 1:30, lay on the bed wide awake until 2:30am or so, got up and gave up trying to sleep. Went to listen to siblings talking, yes all of us were awake. They were talking about animes and stuff and then started talking about islands. And then at 4am i was chased to bed by my sis. And at 530am i woke up for school and for bio paper 3 and chem mcq! I lasted through the papers though i was half dead before chem mcq. Cheeseburger suffers from insomniacal problems too but he eats sleeping pills!! My head was swimming by the time chem was over. But xr, charbi, cheese and me still went to eat ice cream to celebrate haha. Then went home... and slept! And slept! Until 5am the next morning[today]! Wa. good cure for insomnia, one day sleep one day don't sleep. Mom refuses to let me eat sleeping pills.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
i am happy. I fed Burger baby food with a sauce container [new one of course]. It was peach banana rice mix. That sounded energizing and good for a little malnutritioned one! ANywu, Burger cannot be 8 months old la!! She's half the size of Hit and Run who are 3 months old!! She's so small, so like a baby hammie...
Life is not so bad afterall with many hammies to shower love and care upon! C:
Life is not so bad afterall with many hammies to shower love and care upon! C:
ah. realise i must write about about the proceedings of the KI paper because it was so unique. So! It was the day of the KI paper, and the day of IS submission. Everyone was flustered and going mad because of last minute problems with formatting and stuff. The paper didn't start until 20 minutes past the time and when it did there were the typical sighs and exclamations leaking out from seeing the questions. They were positively difficult. So the first 5 minutes were spent in shock before everyone started doing the paper seriously.
Halfway through, Mr Dio started giving out chocolate and gummies! Thank goodness cuz i was soo hungry~ Hung started talking and commenting something about it, i can't remember what he said but it wasnt funny S: Anyway so we ate choco while doing our papers ahaha... And i was dead sleepy by the time i was halfway through the paper... I just couldnt wait to finish cuz i HAD HAD HAD to sleep. So i squeezed out the last morsels of energy to read through like 3 4 5 times before i finally collapsed at the last half hour. Nothing else to write. Brain not functioning anymore. Sleeeep... I never slept during a paper before of course considering the fact that most papers don't give you that much time.. but this was really... TOO LONG... i have no idea if what i wrote was on point cuz the questions were quite hard honestly..
Anyway that was really the most fun paper ever. All the others consist of much solemnity and winter winds.
P.S. yea Burger looks just like Actually though much thinner and smaller, she's either malnutritioned or just not fully grown yet...
P.P.S Burger is using the sandbox i made for her!! I am so happy~~ There are sunflower seed shells in there :D
Halfway through, Mr Dio started giving out chocolate and gummies! Thank goodness cuz i was soo hungry~ Hung started talking and commenting something about it, i can't remember what he said but it wasnt funny S: Anyway so we ate choco while doing our papers ahaha... And i was dead sleepy by the time i was halfway through the paper... I just couldnt wait to finish cuz i HAD HAD HAD to sleep. So i squeezed out the last morsels of energy to read through like 3 4 5 times before i finally collapsed at the last half hour. Nothing else to write. Brain not functioning anymore. Sleeeep... I never slept during a paper before of course considering the fact that most papers don't give you that much time.. but this was really... TOO LONG... i have no idea if what i wrote was on point cuz the questions were quite hard honestly..
Anyway that was really the most fun paper ever. All the others consist of much solemnity and winter winds.
P.S. yea Burger looks just like Actually though much thinner and smaller, she's either malnutritioned or just not fully grown yet...
P.P.S Burger is using the sandbox i made for her!! I am so happy~~ There are sunflower seed shells in there :D
Friday, September 18, 2009
Here cometh little Burger:
I got little Burger today. That's her name. Not sure if she's a guy or girl but i highly suspect she's a girl. She's not showing signs of being a guy and she got all the boys up and running. She's quite a nice hammy, she really doesn't bite unless she's hungry [Cheese has been starving her i bet!] Oh well it didnt turn out so bad. Mommy didn't really kill me. Just made noise about random things and all is well now. I built a second storey and a little house for Burger cuz her cage was so empty and she must have been sooo bored. Thank goodness there was a spare wheel at home, don't need to buy another one! She now lives at my bedside. High-rise living man. In case she's really a girl, better to keep her far away from all the boys below![4 hammies 2 mice]
There is a grand total of 7 rodents in my house now!
I got little Burger today. That's her name. Not sure if she's a guy or girl but i highly suspect she's a girl. She's not showing signs of being a guy and she got all the boys up and running. She's quite a nice hammy, she really doesn't bite unless she's hungry [Cheese has been starving her i bet!] Oh well it didnt turn out so bad. Mommy didn't really kill me. Just made noise about random things and all is well now. I built a second storey and a little house for Burger cuz her cage was so empty and she must have been sooo bored. Thank goodness there was a spare wheel at home, don't need to buy another one! She now lives at my bedside. High-rise living man. In case she's really a girl, better to keep her far away from all the boys below![4 hammies 2 mice]
There is a grand total of 7 rodents in my house now!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
SI LE! i realised how many different and weird interpretations can come out of my last post so i have decided that it should join the rest of the unfortunate random alphabets in the trashes.
what i mean to say of course is. What momoren said better not be true or i really can go and die liao. this is very not like me. Don't believe this kind of stuff can. CAAN.
what i mean to say of course is. What momoren said better not be true or i really can go and die liao. this is very not like me. Don't believe this kind of stuff can. CAAN.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
ah. there is time now.
sort of.
I've been having dreams about the supernatural for the past two days. It seems like vigorous studying helps to generate very vivid and action filled dreams. It's like every moment something is happening.
Two days ago i dreamt this:
We were moving house and i was scared
Never had i ever been so unprepared
The house was strange, with purple walls
It stood alone and very tall,
but the weirdest thing about it all
The door wouldnt open to our call.
Shadows darted past the windows
voices of so many lost souls
just creepily creepily haunting that house
it's just so weird, don't know what else....
Suddenly, things started happening,
People screamed, invisible forces from our dreams surrounded us,
attacking the weakest parts of our minds,
the deepest fears we had were all dragged out,
as i went down i had to shout, but you
tangled in your own decay, heard me not as i slipped away.
yea i dreamt that. It's quite scary, when you cant be noticed, can't be heard while you're fading away... i wonder if something like that will happen in real life.
I dreamt about more ghostly things this morning but this time there were people protecting me so it wasnt so scary until i was left alone, then all the shadows started advancing upon me, but i already woke up.
bio paper was dam lame la. needed to go toilet halfway until i couldnt take it anymore, couldnt think properly, and had to risk not being able to finish the paper to go toilet. indeed, I did not finish the paper. AHHhhhhhhh~~~~raaahhhhhh.....
zzzt.
other interesting news. jeremiah lim asked me something shocking questions today. I WISH I COULD LIE BETTER.
ok ok stop emoin. need to go rewrite my IS.
sort of.
I've been having dreams about the supernatural for the past two days. It seems like vigorous studying helps to generate very vivid and action filled dreams. It's like every moment something is happening.
Two days ago i dreamt this:
We were moving house and i was scared
Never had i ever been so unprepared
The house was strange, with purple walls
It stood alone and very tall,
but the weirdest thing about it all
The door wouldnt open to our call.
Shadows darted past the windows
voices of so many lost souls
just creepily creepily haunting that house
it's just so weird, don't know what else....
Suddenly, things started happening,
People screamed, invisible forces from our dreams surrounded us,
attacking the weakest parts of our minds,
the deepest fears we had were all dragged out,
as i went down i had to shout, but you
tangled in your own decay, heard me not as i slipped away.
yea i dreamt that. It's quite scary, when you cant be noticed, can't be heard while you're fading away... i wonder if something like that will happen in real life.
I dreamt about more ghostly things this morning but this time there were people protecting me so it wasnt so scary until i was left alone, then all the shadows started advancing upon me, but i already woke up.
bio paper was dam lame la. needed to go toilet halfway until i couldnt take it anymore, couldnt think properly, and had to risk not being able to finish the paper to go toilet. indeed, I did not finish the paper. AHHhhhhhhh~~~~raaahhhhhh.....
zzzt.
other interesting news. jeremiah lim asked me something shocking questions today. I WISH I COULD LIE BETTER.
ok ok stop emoin. need to go rewrite my IS.
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