how do you fix disappointment?

this is enough..

i miss 2K ppl so much. more so after the gathering today. SIGHHH. wynne reminded me of my flying fingers that would perch on her finger perch and then fall off as a dead bird. Oh those sweet memories! I miss flying dead bird! No one in their right mind would play flying dead bird with me. And even if they did, it just wouldn't be the same!

making fun of suat is still as fun as ever. Everyone pretty much looks the same.

i feel like the picture yan hui took. The dead leaves in it. Lying there like nothing has ever changed. Sigh. Nothing should have ever changed...

ignored like a dead leaf.

how can i sleep tonight? hearing this maybe i shouldnt be hearing. maybe i should.

i wish i could be a conservationalist [if there's such a word] and go somewhere in search of animals that need saving and just save animals for the rest of my short, pathetic and miserable life. I wish i could make friends with lions and tigers. They would never disappoint me and there will be no danger of being anything more than friends. Animals animals animals. There are so few in the wild here. There isnt even something that can be called 'the wild' to begin with. I wish i could go explore some isolated jungle and see animals everywhere i go. [not humans of course. animal animals. all the better if they're furry.]
i would be a marine biologist if i could swim better. But since i cant i will probably die before i can save any sad little fish hoping to be saved.

I dont know what to be.

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