i think I only have to write in the most disturbed of emotions, the most troubled of situations. it's much like reflecting to myself or relieving some sort of painful repressed thought that keeps recurring in my mind unless I express it somewhere in words. also it helps if I continue to write so I will not lose touch of the language since my speaking is already much handicapped by the lack of the need for it at all.
this morning's dreams were clearly a reflection of my guilt and fear of being found out somehow. but I should have known that I could never escape from my own mind if I keep on pondering the same question every day instead of just letting go.
I hope I will survive this somehow and my insides will not rot away as i keep on repressing the anxiety and fear.
I think it's clear the fairytale is over since the nightmares have begun. or maybe I'm just thinking too much. how obvious does it have to be? the messages my mind is putting across to me.
