this is a strange city. where i can find nobody. and no one can find me

6 dec 2010 thoughts. see what I mean

2012-02-13T01:30:00.001+08:00

Munching many mini munchies meticulously made meanwhile merrily making music

26 Apr 2011 thoughts. sometimes I can be really gay

2012-02-13T01:28:00.001+08:00

like a cotton ball gently
rolling down a waterfall
little fluffy hamster
won't you come
when you're called?

strawberries at your service
fruit jellies made of berries
biscuits, peanuts, corn
I promise that's not all

little fluffy hamster
won't you come
when you're called?

2nd June 2011 thoughts. after returning from Europe

2012-02-13T01:27:00.001+08:00

we spent some days enjoying the sights
in the City of love,
the City of lights,
bathing in bright nights,
embracing the culture,
observing all the different kinds of classic architecture.
then off to the Netherlands we went,
spent a few nights sleeping in a tent,
there was nothing better
than just slowing down
breathing the cold air
listening to the sounds
of the grass and the insects
just living day to day
while we hurry with our lives
forgetting how to play
sometimes we need a break
from all the work and stress
cuz it's with a clear and healthy mind that we remember best

17th July 2011 thoughts. I really don't know.

2012-02-13T01:25:00.001+08:00

love your pet, don't make him sad
don't treat him bad or he'll be mad. be it a dog, a cat, a rat just treat it good n it'll be glad.

7 aug 2011 thoughts. the long poem I lost when my old phone died. and this is all I remember from it.

2012-02-13T01:22:00.001+08:00

One day I was a-walking
In my garden half asleep
When I saw the strangest little man
I never thought I'd meet

Out the corner of my eye
I caught a flickering blade of grass
I knew that something lurked there
Something very small and fast

With steps so light they kissed the ground
With neither audible mark nor sound

I chased the man this way and that
Led by the glimpse of a golden hat

Then by some unexpected luck and fortune there could be
The little man ran and hid beneath my Orange tree

I didn't mean to scare him,
I just wanted to be friends
This I made clear to him and
Held out both my hands

And now I will proceed
To give a better view
Of mr please don't say my name
As seen by very few

There've been too many stories
Of funny little men

I'll describe myself promptly
And break out from this trend

He wore a hat of golden hair
which sat upon a head
Which bore a pair of eager eyes
From which life would not fade

[missing lines]
But what he really loved to taste,
Were the rays of light

one day by the window
I saw a little note
Bathing in the sunlight
Washed in a golden coat

"I've tasted whats above the earth
And what's beneath the matter
But there's still much I've yet to see
Between the fore and latter

I've met a lot of people and
Of all the ones I knew
You were the kindest one to me
to me your heart was true
I've still got much that's left to see
And you my benefactor
I won't forget to thank you
In silent reverie"

27 sept 2011 thoughts. seriously?

2012-02-13T01:20:00.001+08:00

hammie little ball of fluff
I'm so glad I've earned your trust
love to hold you in my palm
you don't wrestle, you're so calm
hammie how I love to feel
your tiny feet that scuttle till
you reach an edge but you won't fall
theres nothing to feared at all
cuz I'll be ready there to catch
a falling hammie ball

3rd oct 2011 thoughts. you

2012-02-13T01:19:00.001+08:00

broken cogs and mind on fire
can't restrain my own desire
this world I've yet to uncover
throwing puzzles, rile my fever
distress on my heart, my mind
these tangled thoughts will I unwind?
I still don't understand the word
the meaning of this fragile code
no notes will say no book could tell
the truth does hide itself so well
what few guesses could I surmise?
I'll be the cause of my own demise..

dream on 2nd nov 2011

2012-02-13T01:17:00.001+08:00

dreamt I bought a ticket to malacca, but changed to Penang cuz I forgot where was the location of the trip. on the boat ride some girls recognized me from running. one of the girls fell off the boat while swinging on it. the boat ride was mad scary. I made friends with a girl who was the boss of a textile shop. she was going to interview someone later. I saw the roman palace. and then the safe box. there were ppl dressed for halloween in the streets like some ninja hopping around. we entered the safebox which apparently was a building with a collection of school sets like displaying schools.

16 nov 2011 thoughts. I believe I was trying to do a collage of my dreams. unfinished.

2012-02-13T01:16:00.001+08:00

I thought
my heart had stopped
I took a breath
felt myself drop
into an abyss
dark and deep
and then
I woke up from my sleep.

my head is hurting
hurting, hurting
and I'm stirring
there's a hand
reaching to drag me out
I'm drowning in a gushing river
stirring, stirring
then I wake
and see there's nothing.

glass is falling
in the building
touch my arm
I see it's bleeding

but I'm running
and a gun is pointed
right at me
it's fired

I'm so tired
i can't sleep

because these dreams are haunting me.

13 nov 2011 thoughts

2012-02-13T01:13:00.001+08:00

I keep having
strange thoughts in my head
every time I get up from bed,
awake but still plagued by the dreams I made
in my mind, what you said
still alive
in my head.
but alive is better off than being
dead.

23 nov 2011 thoughts. I believe after getting CA results

2012-02-13T01:10:00.001+08:00

for me frustration is best expressed in poetry. rhyme. rap. whatever.

the pity-fool me
trying not to wallow in self-pity
a truly trying challenge for me
taking all the pains
to study, but in vain,
results don't reflect
what my brain's meant to be.
the future seems bleak
I really can't see
what exactly are the skills
that i have of use to me?
I only have imagination
rhyming,
all my mind's creations
still the insignificance
is hardly even diffident
so obvious, blatant, plain, profuse
what of skills that have no use?
it's sad but it's reality
the last place that I want to be
my dreams are the kind that are really just dreams,
you awake- they fade,
forgotten, unseen.

a dream I had

2012-02-13T01:08:00.001+08:00

I dreamt we went on a one day trip to somewhere, don't know the name of the place. but it was a desert. and the landscape was wonderfully desertlike yet still splashed with greenery and wildlife of the desert kind. somehow it begin with the story tellin of how the land was initially inhabited by 8 large animals. among them, elephant, giraffe, forgot the rest. then humans slowly came and hunted them and they diversified and it gave rise to more and more different animals. when the story ended it was up to us to roam around. I took my camera and went about snapping pictures of giant beetles, hairy plants and feathers the colour of zebras. we were only there for a day so it was sad when the time came to return.
in my dream I dropped my camera but managed to put it back together. and then there was another person there eating and while he ate he kept staring n talking to me. I guess this stemmed from the two weirdos downstairs my block that kept staring as I walked past.

bcuz I need to empty my phone of random notes I

2012-02-13T01:06:00.001+08:00

desirabbit on the loose
I wish we could come to a truce
but I could see right through it's eyes
this rabbit wasn't very wise
and only knew of plain mischief
creeping about like a thief
as if I could not match his tracks
so unprepared was he when I
pounced on him, his paws in mine
no longer would this rabbit run
him that only knew of fun
no longer could this rabbit play
my hunger sees no more delay
no longer would this rabbit hop
for in my jaws I have his lop
and in my belly soon will sit
freshly yielded rabbit meat.

2012-01-28T14:33:00.001+08:00

I guess as usual I put too much on the line. putting everything into it but it's really more than I can bear. I know it's better just not to care.

but tears are falling thinking about what ive done. nothing's solved and there's only paper to cry on.

if

2012-01-06T23:45:00.001+08:00

a tree falls in a forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

if no one is there to see the tears, is there still sorrow?

yea. there sure is.

just don't want to feel like this over nothing, when there isn't anything the matter but just something my mind made up cuz everything is always complexified by minds, like mine, that think about things in a manner skewed towards self destruction and there isn't anywhere I can run cuz I can't escape from my own mind...

The New Year

2012-01-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

The first day of the new year for me was spent just chillin at home watching my favourite depressing but fascinating show, Criminal Minds.

The second day of the new year is being spent doing the same thing but also now reminiscing the past year, looking through pictures and trying to think what I was feeling at those moments. My phone has been abandoned far away so i don't get distracted by constantly checking it since i think i'm waiting in vain. I'm listening to The Riddle by Five for Fighting and it seems so apt for this moment, or time of the year. The year is having a new beginning but I think i already had one a few weeks back.

So i'm looking at my holiday pictures and i feel like the pictures make it seem as if i enjoyed myself a lot more than i actually did there in person. It's true. I feel so fulfilled looking at those pictures and I overlay them with a perceived feeling of joy, which is not so much the truth. Because i still remember that when i was there I wasn't so joyful everyday. But i guess it's better to feel as if everything had been fine and dandy because afterall it's already passed and there's really no use mulling over how bad it really was when my mind is already overwriting it with happy memories.

I think i've already begun changing before the new year itself and it definitely has made life easier to live and made a lot of things more acceptable to my narrow, inflexible and restricted mind. I've given way to my more liberal self and just let myself fall into whatever madness springs up from whatever road i've stumbled upon. And it's just been better this way. And i wish i realised it earlier but still, better late than never.

And now I just want to keep writing because the feeling of typing is enjoyable, the softness of my keyboard protector as i pitter patter on just makes me want to keep going. Even if there is no audience i always feel as if i'm releasing some part of myself for the sake of myself and that's good enough. Writing everything on paper is good too but my hand gets ever so tired ever so quickly that i never really get to write everything i want to before i'm forced to stop by the aching. And everything feels so much more automatic when i'm typing. Someway, somehow.

I guess my only hope for the year ahead is that there will be no heartbreaks and all will be well.

despair desperation desolation

2011-12-13T15:34:00.001+08:00

i think I only have to write in the most disturbed of emotions, the most troubled of situations. it's much like reflecting to myself or relieving some sort of painful repressed thought that keeps recurring in my mind unless I express it somewhere in words. also it helps if I continue to write so I will not lose touch of the language since my speaking is already much handicapped by the lack of the need for it at all.

this morning's dreams were clearly a reflection of my guilt and fear of being found out somehow. but I should have known that I could never escape from my own mind if I keep on pondering the same question every day instead of just letting go.

I hope I will survive this somehow and my insides will not rot away as i keep on repressing the anxiety and fear.

I think it's clear the fairytale is over since the nightmares have begun. or maybe I'm just thinking too much. how obvious does it have to be? the messages my mind is putting across to me.

the pit of tea

2011-11-22T23:42:00.001+08:00

I'm trying not to wallow in too much self-pity, but how can I not? seeing my demoralizing CA score, I cannot help but feel perplexed, pained, pressured... what exactly am I doing wrong? although I studied harder than before, I also fell harder than before..
I'm trying to study and keep my mind off my perpetual failure.. but Im not so successful this time. it's perpetual, and haunting me.

I have one last chance but already I feel beaten. if I try and fail again my confidence will crumble like a cookie in a garlic crusher. but if I don't try even more sour my insides will be. twisting and turning like in my sleep.

how can I keep up my smiling face when all I do seems to be in vain?

dream

2011-11-16T01:54:00.001+08:00

I thought
my heart had stopped
I took a breath
felt myself drop
into an abyss
dark and deep
and then
I woke up from my sleep.

2011-10-27T00:22:00.001+08:00

all I hear is screaming
maybe I'm just dreaming
somehow it just scares me
leaving me so empty
i can never just ignore
when I hear the sickening yells
shut my eyes and shut my ears
I feel like I'm in hell.

2011-10-26T23:10:00.001+08:00

scold scold scold

person you're scolding is not even in the room.

stop!!!

youre just scarring people whom this doesn't even concern...

thanks for the upbringing.

I want a new nose

2011-09-18T22:39:00.001+08:00

I hate my nose! i sound like most girls nowadays, hatin their nose eh. but i have a dam good reason to hate my nose. i dont really care for its shape, as long as the dam thing can function!! but it doesn't!! and it hates me too. that's why it keeps running and running and running all day. tryina run away from me. you think I wanna keep you around, huh nose? no way! I don't want a nose like you! you aren't a nose! you're just a leaky tap that needs some serious fixin!!

I need to fix my nose!!!

sutoresu

2011-09-15T02:10:00.001+08:00

so tired from travelling to and from school everyday. having a spoilt running nose. having a infection crap on my arm. having 3 reports to work on at once. having a japanese student seminar I just knew about. having insomnia. having strange dreams. having tons of revision and so much I don't understand. work work work.

now i have to face a shyt groupmate who is TOTAL shyt. his own writing hao bu dao na li qu yet keep commenting on my part dam vaguely. and when I ask him to point out directly, he goes offline. shyt or what? SHYT LA. thank goodness there's only one groupwork this time for this module. otherwise I will really have to take anger management or go to the dungeons cuz a certain someone will soon see no further light of day.

totally confirms my stereotype of guys discussed in class today.

arrogant moron.

2011-09-11T00:22:00.001+08:00

one day you thought you've overcome
all loneliness you've found the one
so long your heart's been locked away
in hope you'll find someone someday
no stranger, not someone just met
but someone you couldn't forget
someone who always had a place
a face that turned from you in haste
that left you once to leave behind
a broken heart, a fragile mind
then left you twice, out and aside
although your words were joy, you cried
within, the tearing helplessness
left you deserted, empty, cursed
you see, you may have thought of else
but history does repeat itself

swords.

2011-09-10T22:56:00.001+08:00

exhaustion drains emotion
words all laced with poison
devoid of all repentance
I'm meaning every sentence

just want my words to pierce
so deep there's no return
regret nowhere in reach
on fire my heart will burn

so drained I only spared
one moment of collapse
but then the sorrow ceased
the tears had no increase

I either stab myself with knives
or stab your heart with heartless words
a million verbal bleeding swords
either way I feel no more.

Sundays.

2011-09-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

I wrote a poem again, after a long time of nothingness. It is a horror kind of theme because i have been reading a horror book. Horror is my favourite genre anyway. But don't worry it isnt really that horrific. The poem i mean. I wish I could stop feeling guilty for every tiny second i don't spend studying. Because i really want to do something more than that... but each moment, every new word that forms upon this page, a hundred hands pull on my brain saying abstain abstain from the evils of game. Game referring to doing anything other than studying of course, not specifically game, kind of games. Alright enough of this endless chitter chatter, lets get straight into the foremost matter.

Sunday, Sundays, never seemed
sad, but always evergreen
A day of joy, when friends would meet
A day to tread the nearby beach…

The rays of the morning sun
Captured on her fragile skin
Reaching to her broken heart
They seemed to seep so deep within

The rolling waves
Whispered a dream
Live not a life
Outside one’s means

Unveiling her eyes
Upon the world
She stepped forth
Embraced the cold
The waters lapped and licked her feet,
Her knees, her hands and soon her cheeks

The ground began to melt away
Into the deep, she swaggered, she swayed...

2011-09-01T22:55:00.002+08:00

i wonder if it's the lack of reading that makes me unspired to write anything at all, even a diary entry seems difficult because the mood just isn't there. I think I rely too much on stories to create my mood and get inspired. but I really dislike reading. it's just not something I feel like doing any time at all. I want to, so that I can learn more things, but I don't feel like it, cuz I don't like it at all. I want it to be in a movie, or when I look at a page all the words enter my brain automatically and I know the story. I read too slowly, too distractedly that half the time I already forget what the top was talking about when I'm at the bottom. of the page.

and there are no more new Michael critchton books to motivate me. thus I shall start by plucking books off my sister's bed. she sleeps with books, I sleep with stuffed toys. yup. just like how an older and younger sister is imagined to be. at least in my own world.

my. I managed to get some thoughts out. maybe I could sleep tonight.

I also would like to test the theory that walking slower may make my shoes last longer. but I don't want any of my shoes to spoil cuz currently they are all my ideal, dream shoes! no more impulse half-liked comfort stuff that I buy on lonely feet days. all of those are history and only my loyal followers remain. yup. they gotta follow me wherever cuz well, I'm wearin them.

yay C:
I'm done here entertaining my brain.

piercing sounds

2011-09-01T03:12:00.002+08:00

why are new piercings so madly difficult to remove. I've wiggle wiggle wiggled it but it's still stuck like the sword in the stone -.-

at least it does go well with it's neighbours C:

2011-07-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

that's all you'll say?

becuz you're too busy playing your games...

2011-07-22T11:32:00.001+08:00

whoa the google logo today is so cool. you can make it spin!

EUROPE 2011 (DAY 1-3)

2011-07-21T19:15:00.019+08:00

Well, because i had suddenly fallen into a deep pit of no return in the Realm of Great Bordem, I decided that one thing to cure my sad demise would be to finally write about my Eurotrip. And i am lazy to write about the stopover in KL since it's fairly insignificant anyway, i shall start right away from the time on the plane to Paris-Orly.

I kept a very detailed travelog throughout the whole trip, writing at almost every little pause in activity and it serves as an excellent guide as i tend to forget the chronology of things as time flies by.

So first we popped onto AirAsia for the 14 hour plane ride from KL-Paris Orly. And there were 2 meals provided, thankfully, because each time they came i was close to starvation. The meals were good though, i am glad for that.

The first meal was a chicken cordon bleu, and as pathetic as it looks, the chicken was mighty fine. Fat stuffed with ham and dripping with hot melted cheese, a wholesome delight for the starving passenger. The vegetables though, are not worth typing space.

This was the second meal, Chicken Bonne Femme. No i dunno what it's supposed to mean. But this chicken too did its earthly duties well for it was tender and tasty and drizzled in the most underestimated sickly looking gravy filled with a surprise of flavour one would not expect. The fat giant hashbrown thing at the side was unidentifyable though and i couldnt finish it for its saltiness was worse than eating a block of frozen seawater.

Green pastures await.

Dense little towns beckon.

It was very unfortunate that the trip did not start out as wonderfully as a Eurotrip should, as we touched down with broken baggages and torn cases. The lock combination on my sister's luggage had miraculously reset and changed itself thus had to be hacked open and disposed of. Her bf's baggage was worst off, it descended from the plane with the lock totally misplaced.

Muji, my holiday companion, is also feeling gloomy for us.

Despite the rocky start, cows always make one feel better.

The sudden cold was getting to me.

Now this is where i was still able to smile.

I HATE YOU GRAVEL FLOOR.

We started off the journey according to my sister's plan, to visit the palace of Versailles first before checking in our luggage at the hotel so as not to waste morning time. I would think it as a grave mistake and the worst decision ever.

Getting there was the first disaster. The trains were confusing and there was a TERRIBLE LACK OF LIFTS. Everywhere only more staircases awaited us and going the wrong way meant going all the way back up the stairs when one had already spent much effort trying to get down. And yes that's what happened. Much wrong-way-going involved.

In addition, the path to Versailles was filled with nothing but more and more gravel and our poor torn apart luggage had to be dragged and bumped and prodded against these terrifying squares of stone cold evil to reach the luggage store and the queue was treacherously long and the sunlight was blinding. It was an unforgiving place.

But once inside there were many things to look about in awe at. We first stepped into the Royal Gardens [which were floored with yet again, SAND AND STONE poking at our feet relentlessly.] It was quite a sight. It was HUGE. We walked and walked and admired things and we also stopped for a Panini lunch. Of which i do not have a picture sadly. I had box Pasta, which i would soon learn, tasted like all other pasta across the country. The panini, i felt, was very tasty and good for a thin piece of meat between two scared, white looking loaves. It was simple, but had much flavour.

It's not that easy to get past these golden gates.

We saw models having a photoshoot too. They braved the cold in these see-through outfits.

They only switch on the waterflow on that particular day of the week which we visited the palace. Without the water it's just almost dead.

Beautiful Blossoms in the garden.

inside the palace itself, almost every single ceiling was intricately painted with the most wondrous strokes of art with juicy fat horses and peachy pink angels. But when you get to about the tenth room, your legs kinda do the thinking. And all you think is. Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.

The best part is, once you get into the final room, you think its the end, and then GOOD NEWS. TO EXIT, YOU HAVE TO GO RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM.

I was in no mood to inspect the battle paintings. My legs were pasta strands.

The only guy i recognised.

After leaving the Versailles, it was FINALLY time to go back to the hotel. And mind you, the hotel wasn't quite just a bus stop away. After much trudging and tugging at the luggages, we made it, only to find that HOTEL DE ROUEN HAD NO LIFT. GAWSH ALL MIGHTY. AFTER ALL THAT TRAMPING?? Yes. 5 flights of thin winding stairs await our tired hands and feet.

But up we went nonetheless.

The room boasts a classic parisian view.

The best part of the day? DINNER. And this is just the appetizer. Salmon salad thing.

The apple on this was WAAYY too sweet though, i dumped the slices in my tea and it tasted way better. Didnt need to sugar my tea after that even.

DAY2

I was excited about the Eiffel tower. It was the image i had of it, the Tower of Romance in the City of Love. Where couples go and look at the minute city beneath them and feel on top of the world with the one they love.

I was so wrong.

First of all, as we were waiting in the snaking queue for the tower to open, this unscrupulous bunch of tour groups started Prodding their way STRAIGHT into the MIDDLE OF THE QUEUE with no respect for the others whatsoever! They just planted their fat asses there without a care in the world! I tell you, people were screeching at them, yelling, and some even went to confront them, but they wouldnt give a cow's breath. After being in that queue for an hour, bright an early just to be near the front, seeing something like that really made your blood boil. Those little insects, i couldve squashed them had i not been tired from the previous day's workouts...

Still excited. Had not seen the queue yet.

I took videos of taking the lift up the tower. It was a scary affair. The lift just went up and up and up and i thought there was no stopping. And every then and now there was a tiny clinking sound which served to frighten you into uncertainty. But we did eventually reach the top, to be met with this sight. It looks quite wondrous here, but if you were actually there squeezing between the hundreds of other tourists, trying to find an ideal photo-taking spot, you might not like it so much, like me.

There was a wall of graffiti atop the tower, so we left our mark there.

After the Eiffel, we went to the Catacombs. Of which i have little pictures because it was pretty much a no flash place and practically total darkness most of the way. Which meant no good pictures anyhow. The place was just a huge graveyard of hundreds and hundreds of skeletons built into the walls. And just like Versailles, after about the first 50 meters, you just wanna get out cuz your feet are tired, and you miss sunlight. No kidding.

Still happy.

We stopped by a random place for dinner. I forgot to take a picture of the restaurant. This plate of pasta was a huge as a large pizza. And pretty bland. I had to add a lot of pepper and salt to it. And down it with apricot juice, which was disappointingly, from a bottle.

The first bakery we saw! It was about 6pm i think, already. But the sky was still bright as day.

Lovely, lovely little tartlets to end the second day.

DAY 3

Today was louvre day, and i was frankly, quite excited as well. Cuz the louvre being the louvre, having seen it so many times in Geo Challenge, i was just thrilled to see it in real life! But a warning. If you're not an art enthusiast, just take a picture with the big triangle and be on your way.

We decided to try French Macs. A big mistake. There was NOBODY inside, except a homeless man sleeping at the table next to us. And the breakfast menu was pathetic. The pancake was the size of my palm, and the orange juice was as tall as my finger. The ROYAL BACON burger that my sis ordered had but a sliver of bacon so thin and crumpled, it was as if it was sad and sat crying in the corner of the bun. But we do look happy nonetheless. Looks can be so deceiving...

It was CRAZY windy outside the louvre, thus freezing cold.

We only visited one portion of the exhibits cuz the whole place was so frighteningly huge. We chose the egyptian exhibits. This is a mural of morphing blobs. I don't know the significance.

So yes, once again, all seems fine and good until you realise it took us almost 2 hours to walk through just one exhibit, and the exit, was as usual, right at the beginning -.- Thank goodness we were there early cuz on the way out there were countless little school children and more tourists flooding the place. We had lunch at Paul's, a cafe in the louvre. I had a panini set for 9.90 euros [a drink, a sandwich, a dessert] that turned out to be chicken WASABI. WTH. tasted quite shytty. But i didnt wanna waste my money and the flavour grew on me and i ate it throughout the day at various starving points. The apple tart dessert was good though. Yes i keep eating apple tart desserts.

After louvre was National History Museum. Now this place was REALLY something. THIS is the kind of thing that would really make me return to paris. I shall let the pictures do most of the talking from now.

These teeny tiny skeletons are just adorable.

Can you imagine how awe-struck i was at the sight of these magnificent whale skeletons stretching across the room in all their glory? They were HUGE and SO FRIGGIN AWESOME.

And then the other part of the exhibits included a zoo. This place was like a whole bunch of museums grouped together but it was WAY huge so we didnt have time to visit the others like the evolutionary one which i was pretty enthusiastic about. oh well, next time i guess.

AND TRALALA. THATS EUROPE DAY 1-3.

2011-07-21T00:10:00.001+08:00

Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists.

Antonio Porchia

For the hams.

2011-07-19T19:30:00.000+08:00

morehamplease.tumblr.com!!

A Day Out.

2011-07-17T00:21:00.002+08:00

Today was an awesome day! I went to a flea market at *scape with honeybunlet but i shall talk bout that later. The highlight of the day, HOKKAIDO FAIR!!! Dam Expensive stuff but Totally Worth It.

Okay la, this one not worth it. Crab croquette, more potato than anything :/ The crab is like, dam little.. though the skin is cui cui and crispy and nice, the potato overload just kills it :C $5.50 leh...

But this... THIS. is what we live for. THIS is what i want to eat before i get executed in prison.

AWESOME JUICY GRILLED GOODNESS!!!! Smell the awesomeness! Feast on the Fatness!! Joy in the Juicyness!!

HOTATE!! I LOVE THEM.

GRILLED HOTATE MAKES YOUR DAY. EVEN IF IT MAKES YOU POOR. It was SO SO good. SO sweet, fat and deliciously fragrant!!! Like eating some high end crab... soooo awesomely good...

And then there were also free samples of Ramen. DAM GOOD ALSO I TELL YOU. Makes even the strongest heart melt. And the cheesecake. Like eating a cloud. Ah... Why am i not rich!! I want to go to hokkaido now!!!

======

And now for stuff from the flea! At first we were walking at the part outside cine and we were like thinking, wa this flea so small hor. Yea. Why so small arh. Then scarly we see the dungeons filled with loads of shops. ohhh... no wonder la!! cant be that pathetic right!!!

I got this miaocat dress for $10. It's miaocats!!! so cute la.. But only when i got home then realised its dam transparent. Just that i bought it in the dark [heh heh. literally n not so.] But its nice. you cant see it but there's a collar thingy too. miaocats overload!

closeup of the miaocats. they have red eyes!

And then this sailor/sch uniform thingamagic for $5. Very cute lor, got the flap behind one. like the old PAP kindergarten uniform that kind. It looks nicer in real life la in the picture look so fat right.

And then accessories. The Double D, had to buy it la!! Since its double dose of double damage!!! And the brass mouse ring, and sth i bought for xiu rong which is shown here was 3 for $10, and they also gave a free pair of mickey mouse earrings which i wont wear anw cuz they are so tiny! The other silver mouse ring, $2 at a shop just further down from the 3 for $10 one!! And the cute sailor hairtie was $2.

BEST BUY. SILVER MOUSE RING. SPECIALLY FOR NIEW!! nice anot!!! dam cute la!!

I also got some outstanding yellow shorts which i am lazy to take out cuz i already folded and kept it nicely. But that was $15 and comes with a nice red belt so count as $7.50 each lol. It's from a blogshop, and i saw it before for 20 sth sth and thought it was nice but refused to buy for 20 sth sth. So now i have it for cheaper. wahaha.

After all that jazz, honey and i walked from orchard to somerset to doby and ate dinner and played some guitarfreak before meeting the dhs guys for Strictly Pancakes[which is one of those exclusive shophouse kind of eating places.] The pancakes were DAM NORMAL. like the kind you make from instant mix. But the maple syrup was real [only redeeming factor], and they had special kinds of butter [which didnt help cuz the rum and raisin made the pancakes taste spoilt.] but the chocolate pancakes were also quite nice la. but $8.50 for a stack of 4 is pricey for absolutely unspecial pancakes. Certainly not a place to go back to.

And im done with the day! Back to work tmr...

2011-07-15T16:06:00.001+08:00

for all my gold medals I still will never be number one.

Runnin' on Tracks

2011-07-13T22:32:00.006+08:00

I've had many small adventures. and good memories that came with them. good memories must be treasured. I don't wanna forget a single moment. the woman with the extraordinary memory of her life events made it a point to take little notes everyday of what happened. she was pretty much obsessed with making sure she never forgot. I remember a lot of my childhood days because of my detailed diary writing habits too. and I wish it would continue but now I rarely bother to take down things, thinking that most would stick in my mind just because. but I find so many things starting to fade away, even with a good memory there are so many things easily forgotten when you don't take extra care.. so here goes the narrative of my mini adventure with hweewee.

So we decided to go walk on the bukit timah railway cuz it's gonna be demolished soon, which is really sad news cuz its such a rustic place. i ponned work and boss was nice enough to find me a replacement so last minute. so i lost $25 but i feel like i earned a really enchanting experience. I felt like i was in spirited away, when Chihiro took the train in the ulu place. And then i felt like i was in totoro, with all the cute flowers and forested area. It was a crazy scorching day, and there were a lot of people roaming around there too.

So we began our track and just appreciated all the things we saw along the way, every little signboard, a telephone post being strangled by vines, the control box, flowers, graffitti etc etc.

And Huiwei taught me a new way to drink yakult lol. From now on i will always drink like this!

Little adventures like that make my day!

The doll Xperiment

2011-07-07T19:43:00.006+08:00

erhaps i was lonely, perhaps i was bored. But perhaps i just saw some clay figures in UrbanWrite and was inspired to make my own little person too.

And so the journey began... With 2 hours worth of poking and prodding... A face!! Have I ever seen a face so fine!! Okay, for my first real attempt at making my very own clay doll [since i would never be able to afford those BJDs and stuff], i felt it was pretty something. Oh how peaceful it looked in all its emptiness... This is before baking.

And then after baking, i stuffed the eye sockets with tissue~ And its starting to resemble someone i saw long before...

Victor...? is that you?

And then i started adding the makeup! Made the cheeks pink easily. That was the least of my worries... And then dabbed some pastel pink on the lips.

And then i had to destroy it with the red lips. Now it doesnt look like Victor, but looks like the corpse bride instead.

Goodness gracious this isnt helping... looking more and more macabre...

Attempted to add eyebrows...

Then by fantastic chance, i had the perfect sized white beads. And used them as eyes. Drew some pupils on 'em. Corpse bride....

And then changed the eyebrows to make it more urm, creepy BJD looking. And in the process of adding eyelashes. Oh, and i molded some eyelids to reduce the cartoonishness and re-baked the whole thing too.

Ahhh!! Eww what happened to my innocent looking blissful little Victor!!!

I couldnt stand it so i sandpapered off the lips and the eyebrows and peeled off the eyelashes and bought thinner fake eyelashes just for this little buddy.. but her eyes just end up looking like dark black abysses.. Oh well that cant really be helped..

Got some hair extensions from bugis and glued them on cuz i was just too tired to do anything proper like a hair net or sth.. plus her forehead was a little low for that. Have a little purple rubberband kiapping everything in place and wala! My dollhead!

PROJECT COMPLETE.

Not really as perfect as i wished it to be.. but it'll have to do for my first try!

Hohohoho. Since i couldnt make my ideal doll. I photoshopped what i had wanted my doll to look like!!! Cool anot cool anot. *SIGH*

Random wig from google. hurhurhur.

2011-07-05T15:22:00.002+08:00

whenever someone hears that I'm giving tuition the first thing they say is "oh how nice, an extra source of income!" and I will comment that it's tiring and distracting and they would just say," oh yea.. but it's an extra source of income!" and that's like all they ever think about, the extra source of income. they don't think of the student as a sort of tape worm sucking up your time and your mind and thinking that they actually control you so you have to adhere to their schedules and change your own organised plans for their sake because you have committed to being responsible for the using of their brains when it's simply rubbish, nonsense, shyt to the highest level. these kids think the world revolves around them and want you to cancel your own plans and fit them in whatever half an hour spares you have and you just want to slap them and wake them up and tell them to get back in line and stop being a squirming little shyt. and when you're tired and down and faced too many retards for the day and your quota is up and you get home and your mom tells you change of plans she's only coming at this time, when you felt the guilt leaving earlier from work, leaving the trail of work behind for the other worker, only to rush home to a fool that isn't even coming at the agreed time. it's tiring, ridiculous, stupid but inevitable because there will always be kids like that who dont use their brains, don't inform and don't bother cuz you will make space for them somehow because you have to, because you're responsible.

and I am lucky to have friends that can accommodate me and change our own meeting plans for the sake of this one insignificant and ignorant dumb being that I have the dam luck to have to cross paths with in this lifetime of mine.

Pippincho!~

2011-06-28T22:53:00.004+08:00

With a cute little squeak!

Pippin takes a peek!!

Tiny tiny thing

could even go through a wedding ring.

Welcomed with a piece of pear,

ain't he the cutest hammie everywhere?

Bitter Gourd.

2011-06-24T20:43:00.002+08:00

im a bitter bitter girl.

Bitter against the whole world.

Worst than the bitterest gourd

the bitterest a commonest man could afford.

Applaud.

For the bitterest girl in the hoard.

Seoul Garden!

2011-06-23T00:08:00.003+08:00

Today i ate at City Square Mall's Seoul Garden with my hostel friends! whee!! it was awesome!!! We've been wanting to eat this cuz of the student price hehe. We ate like a TON of stuff. about 58 items and some in multiples. Quite a feat for 3 girls. And only $20 each for students!! Very hua suan. Added $3 cuz we changed our soup once. Poured too many shellfish in it at once and it become like shyt lol. Luckily that was when the soup was at a low level already!

We had chicken, clams, mushrooms, veggies, muscles, tofu, fish, octopus, prawns, ice cream, sausages, fries, squid etc etc etc.

Tasty stuff!!!

Lol, my friend tried the octopus!!

I fried an egg C: Nice right

We had tons of mushrooms. We must have eaten a whole ecosystem. We had enoki mushroom, shiitake mushroom, straw mushrooms, chinese mushrooms, button mushrooms. basically we ate all the mushrooms they provided lol. I love mushroomsss.

Between us we had 10 different desserts lol.

Mixed berries ice cream... Tasty stufff...

More tasty stuff!!

This is really nice! Azumi beans with grass jelly. Actually like giant red beans. Then i tied the cherry stalk into a knot cuz susan suggested lol. They were amazed.

Yay! I didnt actually realise what they were posing!! I just happened to do this hahaha. yay telepathy!!

Awesome way to end the day although i started out with a depressing dream in the morning!

NeWaterBottle.

2011-06-21T14:05:00.002+08:00

Soyabean got a New Waterbottle! Why am i bothering to write about this. Just its dam cool, i never see before such a cool way of sticking a bottle to the cage. cuz im a cave-person. It's a simple idea but i never thought of it and wala! Let's stop listening to my nonsense and see how cool this waterbottle is.

See! It uses that suction thing!! With an elastic band attached to it! Just slip the bottle through and it holds perfectly! I'm so amazed by it cuz at home the suction thing has a hook and is only used to hang table cloths. It's like such an amazing innovation for plastic hamster box users, when most other bottles have the hanger only for grill cage users.

I bought him a new bottle mainly cuz he keeps knocking down the other one that i stuck into the hollow bridge and made to stand so it acts as a bottle holder. And that bottle also doesnt really have proper water flow. Keeps getting stuck and dry -.-

Soyabean looking cute drinking water after just waking up.

Terrifying Dream

2011-06-21T11:05:00.002+08:00

I had a dream again.

This time it was about a terrorist attack. It didnt start out that way but it just morphed into it. In the beginning i was just one of the students having classes in this weird brown building with brown rooms and brown furniture. And i was really tired and i fell asleep, but the teacher was like saying it was my birthday and they wanted to celebrate so they woke me up and i was quite annoyed. They sent one of my classmates to give me a present. I forgot what it was.

Then we were supposed to visit a museum. But it was a weird museum cuz we couldnt figure out how to get to the top room. There was supposed to be something important there. We climbed about the bottom stairs but still we couldnt figure out how it connected to the top. So we gave up and left.

Another day i came back with my sister. We were both wearing red shirts. Suddenly there was a typhoon outside. A random character in my dream mentioned that it was the biggest typhoon he had ever seen, but when i ran to look outside, it was really a twister. A huge black thick twister of dust heading right our way at ridiculous speed. It was so fast i only had a moment to peer outside, at the twister which seemed to still be far away, when i felt the rush of wind and had to run back inside and duck somewhere cuz the windows shattered with the force of the wind.

Then before i knew it, there were two men who came into the museum and they had guns. We were all terrified cuz somehow in the dream we knew they were terrorists. And thus, they terrify. One of the men came over to the corner where my sister and i were, and he was threatening us to memorise a set of numbers, otherwise we would die. But i couldnt understand his accent, it was super weird, i dont even know what accent it was. So I couldnt even make out what numbers he was saying. Then behind him, someone from outside opened the doors of the museum and everyone started running away! And he didnt even notice. Only me and my sis couldnt cuz we were right in front of him. Then two dogs came running up to us and he just shot them. Then i dunno what happened, but somehow we managed to get out of the open doors too and we ran and we ran and my sis wanted to hide in a neaby wooden house but i said that it was too closeby and they might have people everywhere. And so we went on further down.

But yet again, this house had more terrorists. But they were not as smart. They let us run off to do something for them, so ran off did we.

And meanwhile the twister was sweeping houses off their feet in the distance and the wind was whistling all around us.

And i woke up.

Father's day

2011-06-19T18:36:00.005+08:00

Painted a red and yellow macaw for dad for Father's day.

Cuz i used to paint it several times as a kid. My kid version... urh, cant find it, otherwise can show you how disfigured it is. And yet as a kid i thought it was nice!

Used this as a ref: http://www.fotosearch.com/STK032/din1691/

I know it looks hardly like it. just the pose..

Honey accompanied me all day at work today! So happy! ^^

Dream

2011-06-18T10:54:00.002+08:00

I had a weird dream, as usual. There was a carnival and i was running around having fun, and there were all kinds of cool exhibits and games and stuff. And then I bought a rabbit stuffed toy which was really heavy, it was like carrying a small sack of sand. but somehow i lugged it around willingly. Then i saw a exhibit with a headless man wearing a sit, sitting at a classic study table, animated to write. There was also an animated kitten on the table. And then i was like, ooo! a hollowman exhibit! Actually i thought of it more like Skinner from league of extraordinary gentlemen. So i went near the exhibit and it was okay, until i went up from behind Mr. Skinner, then he was animated to turn around [at least you can see the clothing turning] and i got a heart attack and ran away to tell my friends about it.

So that's the first part of the dream i remember.

The other part is that it started to rain, so we had to rush off to find shelter. I was running with honey. I remember seeing a lot of little trinket stalls as i rushed through the fair, and it was much like a pasar malam, but arranged in a more complicated way. So we ran and ran, and then there was this bus game thing. We had to climb up this slightly high ledge to get across to the other side. I was carrying the crazy heavy bunny, so i had some trouble climbing it at first, but then i managed to get up halfway and honey helped to pull me up. I saw bus seats at the top of the ledge and there were a bunch of ppl hanging around there. I only remember looking around at the scene with the blue foldable bus seats [those in europe] and the people hanging around them. I don't remember what happened after this anymore.

Was She a Cheat or Really In Need?

2011-06-17T19:25:00.004+08:00

So, today at Tanah Merah MRT, when i was scooting off to work, this auntie [will not call her lady] suddenly popped up to me, all sweaty and enthusiastic sounding, and started chittering at the speed of light. Apparently she just had an asthma attack, fell down, being two months pregnant, she had even started bleeding. She was in desperate need of help[or so she said] and wanted to go to her gynae, in Jurong. Her husband was in JB and zooming over in the car, and would reach at 5pm. It was 10am then. [5PM HELLO. take train also reach faster can. She did mention he was ZOOMING OVER RIGHT NOW.] And all this time i didnt doubt anything she said, but i did wonder what was her point, so i listened patiently while trotting quickly through the MRT underground cuz i was in a rush to catch the usual train afterall. And so she finally asked it. "I need transport money" she asked sheepishly [she did appear pai sei.] so i was like, okay, transport money. cant be that bad what. how much? "yi bai kuai" YI BAI KUAI. WA!! YOU TAKING PLANE GO JURONG ARHH. omg!! yi bai kuai!! i was like wa! na ge wo zhen de mei you. wa piang. siao ah. i really dont have 100. And so she was like, oh! can use ATM? Later my husband can ibanking transfer to you. Can transfer to you by 5pm!

Yes. 5pm is a few hours later. long enough for you to make your getaway. But urh. too bad i dont have ibanking. but in the first place i didnt have 100. So instead she asked me for 50. To which i was speechless still. FIFTY. You taking limo there issit?? Becuz i was speechless and my eyes were like O.O as we floated up the escalator, she lowered the amount to 20. By that time i was like, pls la. You door in face me, like i want to agree to any request -.- And yes yes your husband got ibanking, i dont have okay? i lend you means GIVE you. [Anw i only had $2 on hand.]

AND THEN, she asked me to accompany her go toilet. WTH? Was she going to strangle me and extort money out of me by violence??? Okay la i don't think so. But i really didnt have time for anymore nonsense. Rushing to work. Train coming. Must take this train or late. When she asked me go toilet with her i was already like GASP. WO ZHEN DE YAO GAN QU SHANG BAN. So she was like, okayokay, nvm. i go ask an adult.

toot. You want 100 bucks should have asked an adult in the first place!! [ignoring the fact that i am sort of adult.] But you know, ask someone who actually looks like they carrying 100 bucks around la, i was like t shirt and jeans -.- But hey! Adult would be smarter and not even bother listening to her story in the first place right, so less chance. probably.

Is My Life Epic Or WHAT.

IT'S WHAT.

This auntie arh! Fall down asthma bleeding still can run into the underground tunnel asking for money. Should have asked someone CALL FOR AMBULANCE LA. Which person carries like ZERO dollars around when she has asthma, pregnant and husband not in singapore!!! AND, CLINIC IN JURONG AND SHE IN TANAH MERAH MRT?? WITH NO MONEY?? And summore ownself got no ATM!!! MAKE SENSE OR NOT??? Try to cheat my money huhh!!! EAT SHYT LAAA

yOU SO desperate for help, since you;re still well enough to take escalators and chase me all the way to the MRT barrier, TAKE THE ESCALATOR UP AND WALK TO THE NEAREST CLINIC CAN. the doctor will take pity on you and wait till 5pm when your husband comes back for payment. -.-

TOOT.

im just more pissed off cuz my expensive sandwich got eaten by someone else at home.

DAMMIT

2011-06-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

you are my only, my only one.

Random Post of a Random Random Thing

2011-06-15T16:20:00.002+08:00

Today, i wanted to eat chicken rice cuz honey also ate that. And the chicken rice that i was eating came with a soup. And the soup was steaming. But it wasn't hot. Isnt that strange? It was even less than warm. Like, semi-warm, almost cold, barely hot. But it was still steaming. How, why, when, does that happen?

This world is indeed intriguing.

2011-06-10T00:34:00.002+08:00

After using bodyshop's rainforest hair moisture butter, i feel like i have just sprung out of the soil and sprouted leaves.

Ah. the smell of nature.

busy life

2011-06-09T22:21:00.002+08:00

on the way going home from honeybunches' house~

After returning on the 6th, started working at red mango again on the 8th! sad life man. but hey! just got my pay! but then I went to bodyshop, and now I'm semi-poor again. but it's okay! definitely have enough to survive till the next pay! cept need to put aside amounts to pay back mami for sponsoring my trip in advance! and then save again for visit Niew round 2! what a busy life, I already have a future plan! for, my fun future.. ignoring the serious part of it.

I need a financial manager!!

things to do in the near future: charge camera, post more holiday photos! whee~

2011-06-08T00:00:00.001+08:00

BACK FROM PARIS!!/ NETHERLANDS!!

will post about it soon.

in the meantime. i have HIVES on one arm. and i have no idea why. They look gross.

ugh.

City of Love

2011-05-23T15:14:00.001+08:00

Off to Paris in a few hours!!!

and recover well honeybunches of oats!!

Finally

2011-05-11T20:36:00.001+08:00

I have finally replaced the layout with something i randomly drew today!

whoohoo.

The Merlion Hotel

2011-05-10T16:55:00.005+08:00

Exams finally ended and holidays have come around and I've finally done something holiday-like.

One of my sister's friends booked the Merlion hotel for a night and invited a bunch of us to go down and experience it! So we went there at night and this is what the entrance looks like:

So it's basically this red box built around the Merlion's head.

The tiny little balcony in the hotel has an awesome waterfront view. But actually it probably looks equally awesome from outside the room. We managed to watch the laser show, which was quite pathetic. Zap here Zap there twirl around a bit :/ Musical fountain better. The music was quite soft also, like when i was on pulau ubin for OBS and hearing party music coming from Malaysia in the dead of the night kind of soft.

But the deco inside the room was nice. I like this clock. Like so rustic. And the table is a mirror.

And then the Chinese horses.

And i think this is supposed to be the designer's name. So he put himself on the toilet floor so that one can honor him in the peaceful moments of bathtime.

This is half the room. The wallpaper actually leaves much to be desired. There's sir stamford raffles with really serious wrinkles, chinese boats and temples in red outlines on a maroon background... It's like he was doing an ancient China theme.

This is what we had for dinner. Despite all the interesting decorations available for our inspection and wonderment, being in the room was pretty boring, because there was no TV, or any other form of entertainment and no one brought the usual cards and such. So we talked, ate, and played with the house cat....

Like this.

And this.

We fed it too.

I merely stood on its tail.

And then i was urged to jump off onto the bed...

But anyway, this is the whole crew perched all over the mercat.

And this is a very strange looking, merlion plushie. It looks like an old folk.

And this, is the scene from The Ring.

So anyway the hotel is like a temporary structure so they will tear it down soon, so i'm quite glad that i got the chance to enter this interesting place and touch the Merlion and climb all over it even. Prior to this i hadnt ever even come near this Merlion.

Oh, and the floor boards can be pretty scary cuz if you have one bad tempered guy stamping all over the ground the whole room shakes like the slight tremors from a nearby earthquake.

So thus was a fun evening.

Unfortunately, a tragedy occurred where my sis left her phone in the cab but that will be a story for another day.

red manGO!

2011-05-09T10:31:00.000+08:00

starting work starting work~

Someday - Celtic Woman

2011-05-08T19:44:00.002+08:00

Someday, when we are wiser
When the world's older
When we have learned
I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and let live

Someday, life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay
Godspeed, this bright millenia
On it's way, let it come someday

Someday our fight will be won, and
We'll stand in the sun, in
That bright afternoon
'Til then, on days when the sun
Is gone, we'll hang on
If we wish upon the moon

There are some days, dark and bitter
Seems we haven't got a prayer
But a prayer for something better
Is the one thing we all share

Someday, when we are wiser
When the whole world is older
When we have love
And I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and one day, someday
Someday life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay

Godspeed this bright millenia
Let it come
If we wish upon the moon

One day, someday....soon

Modelling

2011-04-20T18:54:00.004+08:00

No, the other kind.

It's when i learn from seeing others' examples. I think that's what opens up my mind the most. The world is not so grey and gloomy. People are not always materialistic and cold and depressed(okay maybe this one isnt so accurate). People can be nice and friendly and happy!

I feel a renewed sense of hope!

I don't want to eat hostel food though. That remains hopeless.

I'm so tired i don't even have energy to use the com.. noooooohhh

Lifespan development part II

2011-04-19T21:19:00.003+08:00

more rants.

Infancy and Childhood

Sense of self: This must have began before i said my first word since i remember that scene well. Supposedly around 18months.

By age 2 we start to understand performance standards, have guilt and shame.

We develop emotional competence, emotional regulation. Our initial emotions come from social referencing, seeing how adults express their emotions to guide our own.

personality development: infant temperament(tends to persist throughout life. 1. easy baby 2. difficult baby 3. slow to warm up baby) I think i was a difficult baby. Mother says i cry the moment the sky turns dark. My behavioural inhibition was prob high. this persists into childhood.

Erickson's psychosocial theory states that personality develops through confronting a series of 8 steps.

Social development and attachment:

newborns are predisposed to react to people, esp those communicating with them. They can have periodicity or burst-pause behaviour, which creates their prelinguistic conversations.

Attachment: strong emotional bond develops between child and primary caregiver(sensitive period). Stages- indiscriminate, discriminate, specific, goal corrected and lessoning. As the stages progress, 2 kinds of anxiety emerges- stranger and separation

Types: anxious, anxious-avoidant, securely attached.

Attachment across lifespan is when children develop an internal working model of attachment based on parents. Adult attachment types: autonomous, dismissive, enmeshed, unresolved.

Attachment deprivation: affects social relationships later on in life.

Styles of parenting: authoritative(best kind), authoritarian, indulgent, neglectful.

Moral development: types of moral thinking (pre-conventional- anticipated punishments or rewards, conventional-societal laws, post conventional-taking individual rights into consideration)

Conscience: restrains ppl from socially destructive behaviours

Emotional social dev in adolescence: IDENTITY identify diffusion, foreclosure, moratorium, identity achievement. I think i am in foreclosure. committed to a set of values but not yet exp identity crisis

In adulthood: isolation vs intimacy, generativity vs stagnation, integrity vs despair

In oldage: death and dying stages(denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)

Training Psychology

2011-04-19T20:14:00.003+08:00

Well actually no. I just spent my 1 hour train ride studying psychology notes thus the title. And im just gonna ramble on whatever i remember what i wrote so it's gonna be incoherent and nonsensical.

Lifespan development, Physical and Cognitive:

research designs: sequential(combination), longitudinal(same ppl at diff ages), cross-sectional(diff age groups, same time)

Issues: Stability vs Instability, Continuity vs discontinuity, Nurture vs Nature, Critical and sensitive periods

Pre-Natal Development: 3 stages (Germinal, embryonic, foetal), teratogens

Infancy and Childhood: Newborn (reflexes and learning, sensory capabilities, visual habituation, perceptual development-perceptual narrowing, localize touch sensations)

Physical development: Motor development (cephalocaudal trajectory, proximodistal trajectory)

Brain (vital portions first then frontal lobe)

Environment and Cultural issues(enriched better, physical touch, biology limits environment influence)

Cognitive development: Piaget's stage model (sensorimotor, pre-operational, concrete operational, formal operational), young infant's understanding of physical world(violation of expectation expt), Vygotsky's approach(development driven by biological and sociocultural imput.)

Info processing approaches: theory of the mind, STM LTM, Information search strategies, processing speed and attention span, memory language and metacognition

Adolescence: puberty, brain restructuring neural circuits, egocentrism(personal fable, imaginary audience), formal operational thinking

Adulthood: lower answering for more accuracy, growth of wisdom(knowledge about human nature and social r/s, decision making strategies, handling conflicts)

Aiya okay la. I didnt actually pull this all out from memory, otherwise don't need to study liao lor! Kept referring. BAD BAD BAD!! OFF TO MEMORISE MORE!!!

Dream Speak

2011-04-19T13:39:00.004+08:00

I decided to write the small part of the dream i had this morning which i remember. sadly i only remember that small part.

It's kind of freaky.

I dreamt that everyone of us, who was there in a class, had to drink a spoonful of blood from another person. And you could only drink one spoonful from a certain one person, no more. But it wasn't so gross cuz the blood really looked just like ribena. It wasn't thick or bright red like how i imagine fresh blood would be, but it was watery and diluted and darker, though i'm pretty sure in my dream it was intended to have come straight from the person without any processing.

Unfortunately i don't remember what it was for!!

Arg. Should have tried to remember just when i woke up before it all faded away into dusty dizzy nothingness of the morning.

What would Freud have to say about this snapshot of a dream?

Born a Petite

2011-04-17T22:29:00.001+08:00

just randomly realised that born a petite sounds like bonappetite. a nice play on words since i am exactly such.

okay bye

Accompanying Accomplishments

2011-04-17T16:28:00.002+08:00

yay! just spent 4 hours and 20minutes summarising ONE chapter of the psychology textbook. Hooray! What an achievement! That's 4.5minutes per page and it seems long but when i was doing i felt like i was going as fast as i could already. scribbling away in ants handwriting, resisting all the temptations to sleep or wander off into another realm!

But on a sadder note, that's merely one chapter. And i dont even know if i can remember most of the stuff i scribbled. But nvm, that's a problem for later.

Yesterday i did two chapters with the great encouragement of my honeybunches of oats and also a funny encounter with a kid in the library, whose mother sent him over to see the "studying jiejie". So strange! So random! The mother just asked him to come over and so he did, and i really wanted to poke him in the stomach, so i did, and then he poked himself and laughed! So funny was he. Then i showed him how to cap and uncap a pen which he thoroughly enjoyed, and gave him paper to scribble all over, but he reached for my textbook and my notes sometimes. And when his mother called him away to stop disturbing me anymore, he was super sad! He went and emoed with his face in her leg! So she let him come back and he scribbled more and finally when he started drawing on the table his mother hurriedly swept him away to go walk around outside.

So with cheerful goodbyes, we parted company. He looked especially cute cuz he had fallen down in the morning, according to his mother, and his lip was swollen a little so he had a constant pout. It's not sadistic or anything but he really looked like a little duckling.

I also ate the blueberry pancakes KFC breakfast and it was very very nice! Yes it was very very ex as well, but at least they didnt just give like 3 blueberries in the pancakes or sth. The blueberries were evenly interspersed throughout the pancakes and the scrambled egg was really tasty and soft and delightful and sunshine yellow. I probably need to eat macs scrambled eggs and kfc scrambled eggs to compare for sure which is better, but for now i shall shallowly claim KFC's is better cuz their pancakes are awesome.

Yesterday i also got another hat for keeping warm in paris and a scarf, hopefully that will also be helpful. Yes, it was a day of many accomplishments and happy memories that one shall keep for a long long time and forever after.

Now is a much earned slacking time which i shall spend planning a paris packing list!

The Sem will soon End

2011-04-15T10:19:00.003+08:00

The semester is coming to an end.

I just got back a CA mark today and it was perfectly acceptable to me, i had already expected that mark since out of the two 10-mark questions, i only knew 1 for sure! In fact, i got higher than what i expected to get so i was happy enough! Plus those noisy chirping guys sitting behind me had around the same marks, it wasnt hard to amass from the amount of tweetering pouring out their beaks, so i felt better that they werent just talking cuz they were smart.

BUT. When prof went through the question that only 5/200 people got correct, a dark veil fell over the happy parts of my mind, i tripped and toppled head first into the abyss of SAD. WHy?? Because i had the right idea! But i had to go and scribble it off and change to another explanation that I myself do not understand what i was thinking at that moment. If i had not left my right idea there it would have been better. Then it wouldnt be staring at me behind those crooked lines, laughing in my face and at my stupidity. At that moment i wish i never even got close, then i wouldnt feel so bad about losing all those marks!! But no! I had to be close!

But i do realise now that it's better to have ever thought of the idea than to have never thought of it at all. At least i made it halfway there. Though being scribbled off, it contributed to my marks naught at all.

It's just like how when i want to do laundry i have only 4 out of the 5 twenty cents needed. And many other examples that my tired mind has blocked out. Things are always SO close. But its the either you get it or not kind of closeness, not the 4 20cents gets you half a laundry wash kind of closeness. Ugh.

BUT ON A HAPPIER NOTE, as i always try to make things into, I FOUND AN INGENIOUS WAY OF HANGING SOYABEAN'S WATERBOTTLE! See, the bottle keeps falling no matter how many adhesives i paste and no matter what other lame sticking method i try to make it stay. Since soyabean's cage has no grills and i cant just poke the holder through the grill. And i also didnt bring the container, that is his cage, home so i didnt have holes drills to thread wires through to hold the bottle there. But AH HAH. There is still another way!! I used the tunnel bridge that soyabean doesnt play with and it's made of wood and has several large holes through its trunk. I poked the bottle mouth through one of the holes and stood the tunnel on its open end and wa la!! A waterbottle stand!! And it's very stable cuz the wood is pretty thick. YES. i did not waste my $11 on this wooden ignored toy for nothing!!

WA HA HA i laugh in the face of all adversity!!!

okay no i don't. But it's a good way to face life in a positive way.

2011-04-13T16:28:00.005+08:00

the sky is streaks of dark and light
and in this rain I stand and fight
what matters most, with greater might
stabs the heart, blurs my sight..
I plead that you withhold your words
they cut like freshly welded swords...
I only fight because I feel
the words are what I want to kill..

Pasir ris? No sir, it's Paris

2011-04-11T21:40:00.005+08:00

i have failed to keep to my plan of saving $100 a month. But now im more determined than ever! Just that it always seems to end up failing. This week i shall try my very hardest to spend the minimal amount! All these to save for my very budget trip to visit Niewtums in the far away land of pompousness.

That means i must resist all temptation to buy unnecessary things and only spend on food and only food! And all food must be cai fan and as far as possible, from arts canteen where things are especially cheap despite being nice.

One shall stay determined and hopeful!

And one shall study hard!!!

2011-04-02T02:01:00.001+08:00

i wanna remember uni life as happy times with friends.

not sad times with results.

2011-04-01T23:32:00.002+08:00

today i ate the new macs salad thing. ITS SO SMALL. only the container is big, and that is very sad. No matter how small one is, one does need to eat some substantial amount of food!!

The chicken is tiny. The veggies are sparse. The only thing there's a lot of, is sauce.

Whoohoo. And it's 5.65!! I decided to be the guinea pig and try it for my friends.

IM HUNGRY NOW!!

my eyelashes keep painting my specs.. arggg

2011-03-28T14:47:00.002+08:00

I suddenly feel like a lot of my memory is like a blur, regarding events that happened in the more recent years of my life. I don't want to lose anymore memories so I shall try to record them down dutifully!

yesterday I went kite flying for the second time in my life! but for the first time with my honeybunny. before it all started we took our time having lunch and stuff, then popped over to toys r us as it was the place with the highest likelyhood of selling kites. after tunnelling through the maze of little boys and children's toys, we were close to losing hope on finding our kite! but! I didn't want to give up and I really could not believe toys r us wouldn't sell a simple toy like a kite, so I ventured further into the baby's section n low and behold! finding it's place on a slightly gloomy, easily-missed shelf was.. a small array of kites! and for only 4-6 dollars each too! I didn't really wanna have a huge kite to carry around for the rest of the day so we settled for the smallest one, which would go as small as you could fold it cuz it had no support whatsoever, merely a plastic sheet constructed in a particular air-catching manner. but we didn't think much of it! 3.95 only.

with kite in one hand and honey in the other, we pranced along to the grassy patch next to the interchange where we always see many people flying kites. today was no different, but when we began, we were the only ones. it was really sunny, not much wind, and being pretty much first timers, our attempts to fly the kite were sad and only a few scattered victories here and there gave us hope that the kite could actually fly! but as the day wore on, some other pros brought out their huge and sturdy-looking kites and started flying them with barely any effort at all. seeing their success, me n honey decided to migrate over to a patch closer to their side where we suspected the fengshui might be better! and IT WAS!!

the wind there was soo much stronger, came way more often, and our kite could fly spontaneously, albeit crumpling upon itself and doing tumbles due to it's lack of bone structure. the sky was beginning to darken too, but the wind was so awesome, after a few tries, we managed to extend the kite to the full length of the string! it was just such an awesome feeling, seeing the white thread vanish into the dark grey sky, and see our kite in the distance, looking like a wild owl flitting and jerking from side to side threatening to do it's favourite tumbles.

to end off, we managed to fly the kite while sitting down! yayy. that was our other goal. and as lightning streaked through the gloomy clouds ahead, we retired into the cosy shelter of secret recipe n ate a delectable dinner while wondering about the late comers who only started barely before the storm unleashed it's power upon us!

2011-03-20T13:01:00.002+08:00

SuX. SUX SUX SUX SUX SUX!!!! life suxx

I HATE this!!!

I'm so emo I need psychiatric help.

on the brightside, emoness let's me write rhymes efficiently, everything just pouring out.

here goes:

so bad, it just feels so bad
everytime this happens I can only feel sad
not mad,
just an unexpected disaster
disappointment clouding all my laughter
nothing else will do,
not after
I've ripped open my heart
and watched the light slip away
it's dark..
I've spent all my luck
and I'm stuck
here
left to suck it up...

2011-03-20T12:16:00.002+08:00

not just the blister's bleedin though...

...

my heart too.

but everybody's favourite phrase is just suck it up.

ugh. in this context its like im a mosquito.

mosquito means pestilent.

Monsters Monsters...

2011-03-18T22:31:00.003+08:00

Monsters in the night

I fear you not

switch off the lights

my doors are locked

your breath is slight

i hear your knock

don't try to fight

i watch the clock

night trickles away

dark turns into day

But monsters in my heart

are always here to stay.

2011-03-18T22:30:00.001+08:00

sometimes life just SUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2011-03-17T02:28:00.003+08:00

wthh??

are those robots??

anw.

main point of this is just to say

DIE!!! youu!! scum of the earth!! disgrace to mankind!! waste of breathing space!!

disgusting being!!

i think you need to stay in a mental institute for really severe cases.

cuz youre way on your way to the road with no end.

2011-03-06T12:25:00.002+08:00

much as I dislike the angel, watching pita ten makes me wanna face life in a bubbly, helium filled, colourful fields of flowers filled, squirrels running across tree branches and chipmunks poking their heads out from holes filled way.

and this is possibly, made possible by the realisation that my next CA is 2 weeks later!! not one week as I initially thought! and I have overcome 3 CAs in the past week! (they have been hard and properly badly done but much effort had been invested nonetheless!) so I can try to be happy and bubbly n heliumly and squirrely and chipmunky and. not that much, but at least happy!

whee!

2011-02-25T14:08:00.002+08:00

nvr knew such fear, only the kind you can feel when you're left in the dark, fearing the worst, worse than monsters standing over my bed in the dead of the night, I was just scared something would happen based on memories of the past. the same thing mustn't happen to you.

can't lose you.

random lame post

2011-02-24T00:15:00.003+08:00

topped up my ezlink card on 9/2, 13/2, 17/2, 19/2, 23/2 each time $10. That's 50 prickin' dollars on transport in less than a month. And i stay at hostel. Wow. if i stayed at home i would die of starvation from transport alone.

2011-02-23T23:56:00.002+08:00

When i talk to people then i realise how much in life i've forgotten about.

I want to have a goal now.

I need this motivation.

I'm just thankful to have my friends as my friends and not anyone else cuz as far as i know, these are the best friends anyone can ever have.

One does not need a lot of friends. But a lot of friendship in the few special ones.

2011-02-20T00:33:00.005+08:00

it's not so easy to be happy when one is in a perpetual state of depression.

I don't really know why i am so easily upset, but i know that i cannot help it. I try very hard to control it because it makes the others around me annoyed, frustrated, rather than sympathetic, but i just cant seem to stop it from taking over me. When i recount the incidents, i feel the exact same sadness. Thus a drastic change in mood. Simply by recalling.

How can i explain myself?

They don't seem to understand that i am genuinely hurt.

That i don't wish to be this way. I don't wish to spoil the day but there are so many triggers around me that make me end up drowning in all my emotion. I tried hard to force the smiles.

But they rather not come near me than understand.

on a side note, i have checked. i lost my laptop on 11/11/10, found it on 14/02/11. 3 months.

2011-02-19T14:44:00.002+08:00

just met some plain retarded Indian kids in the lift, who thought it such a brilliant idea to raise their voices to maximum power and talk and laugh and shout becuz it's so fun to hear their voice so loud in a small enclosed space. such idiotic behaviour really pisses me off and demands that I let it out. and it was so loud it hurt. thank goodness the trip was short. stupidity in it's truest form, no concern for others around whatsoever. had the good mind to smack their fat faces in had it not been 3-1. I hope someone slams a pan into their ears one day.

I got a laptop for valentine's day

2011-02-15T00:03:00.003+08:00

MY LAPTOP IS FOUND!!!

AFTER WHAT, 3 MONTHS OR STH??? okay i dont have the exact date right now but i will check once i get home.

MIRACLE OR WHAT MANNN...

all becuz of the power of the aura of my honeybunny!!!

2011-02-13T13:17:00.000+08:00

i wish to jump off the edge of the world.

2011-02-06T16:01:00.002+08:00

before I proceed to rant on the happenings of cny so far(so far since it lasts for 15 days though only the first 3 or so are celebratory), I must first mention this random discovery!

either I haven't had milk tea for a long time... or Gong Cha milk tea is REALLY NICE!! I am pleasantly surprised! had a craving for bubble tea, and also wanted to find a place to squat, googled for directory of bedok point n discovered there is a gong cha here. so I proceeded to buy a normal milk tea, thinking how stupid it is to pay 2.20 for normal milk tea, but refusing to add a few cents for the house specials (which I did not want to risk anyway). And tada. I had my squatting area n my bubble tea. apart from the ridiculously long straw (portion sticking out of cup is about as tall as the cup itself), the milk tea is really fantastically tasty man. I feel like I'm drinking a baby lamb. okay, the idea is soft fluffy clouds n floating in the sky~ it's really wondercrumpilicious!!

or, I just haven't had milk tea in a long while!

2011-02-03T00:58:00.002+08:00

Happy chinese new year!!!

and thanks for all the birthday wishes! :D

2011-01-29T01:17:00.002+08:00

to Mr Nobody:
this is the hand I've always known
the hand that I should always hold
this is the hand that comforts me
Truly, you are Nobody.
it's by this hand that I can see
a future that holds you and me
together we could walk for miles
and never hope to see the end
to me you are the perfect one
let's walk the miles now hand in hand
and never see the dark again
for though I thought we weren't to be
fate and luck brought me to find
mine in yours and yours in mine.

2011-01-25T19:07:00.001+08:00

Changed to a shinier, happier layout for positive energy.

dreamscape or mistake?

2011-01-25T18:35:00.006+08:00

this morning i dreamt that i didnt sleep! I mean, i felt like i totally didnt get to sleep, but yet i was dreaming, so i must have slept.

I DREAMT SOMEONE TRIED TO OPEN MY ROOM DOOR! so freaky... thank goodness i latched it cuz... WHAT IF I WASNT DREAMING?? cuz i really cant tell if i was or wasnt at that point. But who would randomly try to open my room door??? I clearly saw my door being nudged open, a stream of light trickle in, then some resistance, and close again. Needless to say, it was terrifying. But yet i lay on my bed doing nothing. Perhaps frozen with fear i don't know. Or maybe some part of my head knew it wasnt real.

And then i dreamt someone sneaked 2 hamsters into my room! And 2 puppies! At first i only saw 1 hamster, and then there was another! And they were in an unfamiliar container with a red cover so i exclaimed that the container didnt even belong to me! And then one puppy and another appeared and they were white miniature poodles. And one male one female (same with the hamsters) so i was like, crap! they're gonna reproduce! How am i gonna get these puppies out of my room without anyone seeing them!

So that's about it that i remember for my dream. I got up, realised i had been dreaming, yet all the while thinking in my head: when am i ever gonna fall asleep?

but a good thing that will happen this week is... I'm gonna finish all the 12 credits i have to fulfill for participating in psychology studies within this week!! WAHAHAHA. By participating in about 2-3 studies in a stretch, it's all over very fast, doesn't take up too much time, and makes me happy. I can thus concentrate on other things!! Like memorising the 700 page textbook.

Sigh.To erase that sigh i have a bright yellow shiny happy picture to raise my spirits!

2011-01-23T10:47:00.003+08:00

i had a dream again as usual. this time it was more memorable thus i can write about it.

I dreamt that a bunch of us were being chased, and the people were scary, dangerous, whatever they were, we had to get away. At first when they chased us they injured a few of us and i got stabbed in the leg. When we got away from that, i rmbr running into a house with the other ppl, and we were scrambling to find somewhere to hide cuz the evil people were gonna catch up soon. We grabbed some weapons from the kitchen first, some knives, sticks etc etc. One of the people led us into this basement place with a lot of piping and stuff and said there were little holes, outlets where we could escape. So i went down to check it out and i was like, these holes are too small!! No one's gonna fit in them. So i searched around and saw a metal rung ladder leading upwards. So we decided to climb that. We climbed and and climbed until we got to the outside and somehow we were safe there. Throughout the whole dream i could feel it hurting where i was stabbed and always looked down to see blood leaking out of it and we couldnt stop to do anything about it.

The end.

As usual also, i forget much of the details.

2011-01-21T20:09:00.005+08:00

hm? did the second week of school just end?

Feels like the first and second week just merged and I cant differentiate what i learnt in which week.

Time passes so fast sometimes but other times it feels like 1 day was spread over 2 days but it was really just 1 day if you stopped to think about it and nowadays i can't tell the days apart anymore.

I am having a long weekend but I feel barely a thread of freedom...

Things to do in the coming week or for the coming week:

1. get psychology textbook (by tues) XDONE

2. memorise chapters covered in psyc textbook (chap 4n5)

2. memorise words in japanese textbook for lesson 14-16 (by tues)

3. proposal for change in lab procedure(by sunday 2359) XDONE

4. tutorial questions for biochem (by fri)

5. watch webcast for math of games lecture (by tues)

6. After tuesday, jap lecture homework n lesson 16 homework. (by tues after next)

7. After friday, lab report (by fri after next)

8. Attend various psych studies signed up for (mon, tues, thurs)

etc etc etc... this carries on in a vicious cycle...

zzz zzz zzz

On another note, pineapple tart making today was very successful(albeit very sleep inducing)! Tastes undeniably multiples of times better than those selling outside...

i itch for a switch

2011-01-19T00:44:00.003+08:00

okay i changed my template. It's a drastic change from the dreamy old melty sleepy one to this dark and ominous one... reflects my dark and ominous uni life.

why doth thou decideth to change ith?

well i just thought it'd be around the time to do so. first time since the creation of this blog that im using a default template... will prob change the background to something of my own (when i have the time) cuz i prefer it that way.

Anyhow if all goes wrong! I still have my old template in notepad so there.

where to find this thing called time?

2011-01-19T00:20:00.002+08:00

And finally for a moment i have some of my own.

schoolwork is piling up,

its piling up high,

try to keep the level low but

My Oh My.

more and more assignments

less and less excitement

everything just seems like an

End

Less

Dream.

so, ya, bean

2011-01-16T01:11:00.002+08:00

So! The first week of school is over. And it has been half interesting, and half uninteresting. My last week of holidays, highlight: kite flying with wenying! First time kite flying, not to be the last! Awesome fun, even if it was in the middle of a drizzle that gradually became a rainstorm. I wanna go kiteflying again!!

Anyway the main point of this post is... i got my new companion after much consideration! He is bigger than i expected at 8 weeks old. Here is a little information about him:

Name: Soyabean

Breed: long-haired Syrian

Birthday: 1 Dec 2010

Colour: Pretty much beige though he was supposed to be grey

Size: About the size of the palm of my hand

Temperament: Cautious

Diet: Peanut, strawberry cream hamster biscuit, sunflower seeds

He doesnt really eat anything else apart from the above mentioned. He ignores fruits and all the other bits in the hamster food. He eats a little bread but negligible. I guess he's still a baby and still learning. Soyabean is expensive!! He cost a lot in food and housing... here's a breakdown:

Soyabean himself: $28

House: $8.90(too small!!) new house: $26.90

waterbottle: $4.50

adhesive-backed velcro for pasting bottle in cage: $6.35 (got ripped off stupid homefix)

running wheel: $9.95

hammie hideyhole: $7.40

mineral chewing banana: $3.10

absorbent bedding: a blood-sucking $17

food: $5+ (strawberry biscuit), $2.35 (dried mealworms), $4+?(yoghurt drops which he doesnt even eat, but good thing fatty and hit eats it)

That adds up to $123.46!!! (wa almost 12345) Luckily i have the goodness of mother and honeybun to help me pay most of the cost. I only paid for soyabean himself and some of his food... and he is still refusing to be sociable. I'm leaving him alone to settle in for now...

School is crap. Lab report within the first week of school is not fun. Especially when you don't know half of what youre doing. Math of games is interesting though. Japanese is going to kill me. Psychology is turning out to be a killer (must take part in research studies as research subjects??They think we so free arh... lab already takes up 3-4 hours each time...). The life science modules this sem are all so chem that they suck many. Ugh. Shall look up to the stars and hope for a better day...

Random fun thing

2011-01-03T22:51:00.007+08:00

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Instructions: Bold those books you’ve read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish or read an excerpt (or those that you read the kids’ version of).

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien (i even read the poems lor)

3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte (fav book when kid, no idea why)

4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling (never. going. near.)

5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee (becuz of school)

6 The Bible (must have read excerpts somewhere along going to christian schools for 6 years?)

8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens (forced.)

11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott (so long ago i don't even remember what its about)

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy (reminds me of hound of the baskervilles)

13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (I'll go mad before i complete the complete works)

15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch – George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll (scarily thick book of the old)

30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame (frigtening frogs and badgers. scene of the lake haunts me)

31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens (thought it was about the magician :X)

33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis (more childhood stories)

34 Emma – Jane Austen

35 Persuasion – Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis (thanks to dad's magical childhood reads)

37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Berniere

39 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne (thanks to niewtums for snitching it from her sch lib which was gonna throw away their old books!! and giving it to me as a birthday present)

41 Animal Farm – George Orwell (forced by school)

42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown (cuz i couldnt watch the movie)

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving

45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding

50 Atonement – Ian McEwan (watched movie counted?)

51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel

52 Dune – Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon (awesome)

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck

62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold (again watched movie counted?)

65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens

72 Dracula – Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett (wow i just mentioned this to honeybun recently)

74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson (only read notes from an even smaller island... which is more relevant!)

75 Ulysses – James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath

77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal – Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession – AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White (childhood book)

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (iphone book)

90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton (must have read some of this)

91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery (fav book now)

93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks

94 Watership Down – Richard Adams (attracted by bunnies on the cover)

95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl (who won't read this??)

100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

Yay! I've read 18 of them. A very meaningful number for me. And considering i hate reading!! And started reading late. i guess its not bad? Though most of the people i know would have read like, twice of what i did -.- Many of the books are right in the bookshelf at home and i have glanced at them but never thought of picking them up or even flipping through them otherwise i would have more italics! I'm just not such a big reader :C I'm trying to improve though, because my vocab is sad and minimal... and my general knowledge? Can be concentrated into one pocky stick. And not the giant kind.

The ones in grey are those i think i want to try reading. And cuz they either have very cute thus appealing titles, are books for children, or I can easily find.

Must. Read. More!

yay yay its new years day

2011-01-01T23:34:00.008+08:00

New year was grape! I had a great time with the company of i guess the weirdest but funniest and most entertaining bunch of people i know, and needless to say, my hunnybunny.

I met honeybun for lunch before meeting the rest of the gang and we weren't supposed to eat much but ended up eating macs and it was way too filling... ops. I guess that might have contributed just a little to my negative feelings towards the place we ate at later on. But only juuustt a littleee.... because i really don't think that place was any good! Elaborations below.

the cute crockery may be their saving grace...

and the wallpaper...

It was a japanese buffet place, MOMOYA(cute name, i had high hopes), somewhere in Changi, but it was a buffet where you had to order what you wanted, not the take-whatever-you-want on-your-plate kind of buffet (which i prefer) and the ordering went a little weirdly cuz they put serial numbers for the food, but they don't actually know what serial numbers are for what food :/ They require us to read out the names, which i think was quite lame. So nevermind, let's not be too picky shall we?

cute!

i added a fin to it. jonsung poked the eyes lol

So we ordered sashimi. And well the guys seemed to enjoy it but i thought the maguro was terrible compared to kiseki's. Kiseki's maguro sashimi is just absolutely awesome, and i mean because it has a totally homogenous consistency so it just feels nice and fresh and not squishy and weird. Momoya's maguro sashimi and squishy and chewy.. weird. And i had to discard a part of it i couldnt chew. I don't like sashimi precisely because it tastes weird most of the time, only kiseki makes me want to eat it. So i only ate one piece and was done.

look! the wasabi is a bird and wants to fly away.... now that, was not purposely sculpted!

smoku salmon salada

hi im weird.

The tofu, was just WEIRD. The tofu skin was a layer of melted gummybears wrapped around a block of plain old tofu. Not crispy at all though its under the AGEMONO (fried stuffs) section :C And the sauce didnt do nuthin' to help. Sakae's tofu is way 100% absolutely positively better... The zaru soba, for such a long wait (10minutes??), kiseki's one(instant!) beats it hands down... kiseki's dipping sauce tastes nicer too.

the really soft and chewy soft shell crab handroll...

The tempura was probably the only thing i liked and don't have anything negative to say about. (and sadly only have a blurry photo of that i cant be bothered to put up) Oh and the green tea. Everyone else seemed to love what they were eating though! Good for them! So they ate their fill and i was kinda full to begin with so i didn't have to eat much.

kimchi. not bad! started a very entertaining convo lol.

i dont eat chawanmushi so i have no idea if it was nice. but it always looks cute

and so they ate their fill.

I played monopoly deal for the first time! And was greatly confused at the start but finally understood it later on (kept doing stupid moves too but hey I still won 1 round! And summore won from Joe, the Guy Who Kept Winning. yessssss.. i stole his property wahahhahaha). It's a fun game! But it seems to end really fast, like in 5 turns or something. Or maybe it just felt fast cuz it was fun? And we also saw 2 other groups of people playing it! How cool is that.

We had to move to a strategic position to see fireworks when it was nearing 12 so off we went. It was an experience like never before i must say. Since my new year chinatown visits, i've never had such close contact with such a large bulk of the population in a long time and it sure wasnt pleasant. People were irritating, people were irritable, people were pushy, people were pushed, they were noisy, high, people were just doing whatever they wanted to get their way! And there were SO MANY PEOPLE. And we squeezed! (And were squeezed along) And had a train system so we wouldnt lose each other and i gradually felt the air getting thinner and it was getting harder to breathe and oh my god the smell.........

okay, we finally burst into the open, out of the rampaging crowd, a great boost of energy flooded through our veins and we ran! Oh how we ran to escape from all the fury of the world!! okayokay i'll stop. We ran because it was getting close to the time. And so we proceeded on until we reached a spot below a palm tree that did not sway in the wind sadly. It was such a hot night, the air was so saturated from people's breath i think that's why rain could not fall.

So we waited.

Jonsung n EW started doing a countdown in the middle of the silent crowd and it was.. indescribable? And they did it 3 times!! Gosh, they were so high no one could do anything about it. They shouted at the top of their lungs without a care in the world but at the 3rd attempt, the sky burst into lights as they ended the count! Wala! Good timing there!

Here, some lousy photos of fireworks cuz im too short and my camera is sadly, lousy for this...

bwlaaaaghh. that's what it looks like. fire monster puked.

fttpptt. pouf.

And this one looks like...

this.

Going home was the WORST. i almost got killed by a van according to Joe (i don't know what i was doing actually but i didnt feel a single drop of danger as the van zoomed past me 0.1cm away). Squeeeeezing to get into the MRT... Bian tai people staring at you for god knows why and i swear i was literally carried along for 1 second!!! It was the ultimate man. Those (insert what kind of people you would imagine it to be) were SO inconsiderate and kept squeezing and jumping over the fences like they would die if they didnt get to the mrt faster?? I don't understand why they have to do that. come on man. And some retards pushing from the back non-stop until my body is going further than my legs and i'm like oh shyt im gonna lose balance soon but thankfully some shouting helped to slow things down. The poor lady on duty holding the sign was practically voiceless. Her voice was gone. Like pooff! Gone. And yet she still had to yell to keep everyone under control.. oh man poor lady..

Once we got into the mrt station, the coast was clear and we were freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedd... liberated!!! i couldnt have been more relieved...

We retired to honeybun's house and i have no idea if the others slept but i didnt much and am dead tired now.

My camera, lousy night mode, but flash is even scarier.

I dreamed a dream..

2010-12-31T12:30:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I cried out in my sleep! It was quite a creepy cry I must say, would have scared the shyt out of anyone who was awake then, or other light sleepers like me. The cool thing is since I'm such a light sleeper, I wake up whenever I start talking or crying out in my sleep so I always know when it happens, and what exactly it sounded like. Like when you tell other people hey, you were talking in your sleep! They would say really? What did I say! But my response would be I know! I called someone an idiot(yea I did that in my sleep once).

So anyway the cry sounded like a puppy getting whacked or how I imagine a puppy would sound like getting whacked, but it was true fear and desperation I felt in my dream, although the circumstances were not very extreme. It was simply me being upset with honbun for being cold earlier(in the dream) then hiding in the room n being unable to lock myself in, I cried out when he opened the door. Yea. Simple as that. I don't know what I was so fearful of, but it was just the thought of my efforts being in vain! I guess. Cuz I actually had a hard time closing my room door (as in real life, the door slightly does not fit) and he so easily opening it scared me. Somehow.

So that resulted in me waking up at 6:45am, cutting short my troubled sleep. (already couldn't fall asleep and still must wake up halfway -.-) so I decided to go back to sleep! Since it was still early. Little did I know...

I was taking part in a triathlon. I had to run to a swimming pool, swim across it, then cycle back to the starting line. Funny how I managed to do it. Usually in my dreams, my movement is dragged like crazy and I just can't run, I slime my way along. But in this dream I was running and swimming fine(cool!). After the triathlon, I went back to the chalet where all the dunman people were and there were two rooms were everyone was randomly separated into. My hunnybun was there and he said hm, so you didn't put us in the same room. And proceeded to watch tv and ignore me! I felt really sad, I didn't really know what to do. And I just woke up cuz the feeling were overwhelming and turned real.

I dunno why my dreams are so depressing. I'm not even upset or anything in reality. Ok a bit. But nothing to do with the contents of my dream! And I have so many dreams I can write a book about all my dreams and it will be thicker than the lord of the rings.

Colour in the shades of Grey

2010-12-30T18:49:00.008+08:00

the parting of the veil inside my mind

reveal to me what memories transcend the sands of time.

I went to run because i felt like running was a good way to throw everything painful away, kind of because its painful trying to run after a long time of not running that you're more bothered by that instead. Along the way i met some bright orange fungi growing on the wooden parts of the makeshift path that would eventually lead to east coast park. They looked really exotic because i didn't expect to see anything brightly coloured in this sad, grey world. And it kinda reflected what exactly i just wrote. The wood was grey, and the fungi was the only colour on it. Colour in the shades of grey. I havent seen any brightly coloured fungi in real life before so it was quite a nice distraction. But i didnt have a camera with me so i didnt take any photos and just plucked one off google images. If they are still there a couple of days later(which i highly doubt since they come and go like fleeting memories), i must have them down on film. Anyway they deserve a little rhyme dedicated to them for being so special:

The Orange Fungi Its Name I Do Not Know

i thought i saw a glimpse of bright

orange huddled in the dark

shadows darting side to side

walking through the lonely park

cautiously did i approach

the orange speckled dots on wood

wonder crept across my face

these discs were not from outer space

they were nothing more than those

things you won't let near your nose

not a plant nor animal

rulers only in their world

and yet so strongly they held me

a fatal curiousity

i couldnt take my eyes away

as night came and engulfed the day

so lost was i in thought and awe

the light of day i never saw.

okayokay towards the end it just becomes nonsensical. heck care.

2010-12-30T17:09:00.002+08:00

Right at this moment.

The loneliest moment of my life?

2010-12-30T01:15:00.002+08:00

Okay I decided not to be so vengeful towards life. Yeayea my mood changes super fast.

On a lighter note, last night I dreamt I got married! It's one of the more interesting dreams I've bothered to remember recently (yea can choose whether to rmbr or not cool right) since my brain has been stale and not doing much freeflow. Anyway, I dreamt I was getting married to none other than my hunnybunny of course, otherwise it would be outrageous. It took place in one of the dunman classrooms, bigger than actual of course cuz dreams pull things out of proportion. And at the start I was running around looking for a dhs uniform?? I dunno why. But the dhs girls were there and discussing stuff like whether to wear sports shoes etc. I rmbr running through long long corridors that had wooden railings, nothing like dhs actually but that's just where my brain stated it to be. I was just looking for any spare uniform. No way am I getting married in dunman uniform in real life??

When I managed to find something to wear, I met back with the dhs girls and we went outside of school to walk around randomly? I forgot what happened here.

Anyway the procession itself was just like a church wedding, marching down an aisle with people on both sides. And it was dunman and nj people. I think the whole of 2K was there cuz there were specific faces I saw. And the walls were pinkish beige and there were flower petals falling from the ceiling. And everyone was clapping.

It was all just like a really happy affair and I woke up towards the end but just went back to sleep to continue the dream and it did continue, but those parts I don't remember anymore. I only clearly remember the scene where everyone was clapping.

In reality I don't think I will have a pink wedding.. Certainly won't be holding the actual procession at dhs. Probably will invite most ppl I saw in the dream, will not wear dhs or nj unifom or whatever school uniform as a wedding gown of course!! It's just not something to be worn on such a special day, when you used to wear it everyday and probably treat it like shyt too. There won't be pink walls but the flower petals sound nice...

2010-12-30T00:58:00.002+08:00

My brain is imploding and I was supposed to go sleep several hours ago but stupid module bidding has ruined my life forever and ever. and will continue to do so until i get out of here!!! this evil place!!! its ruining my life!! but also crucial to it!! why is life so contradicting??

Bid points are soaring sky high and my allocated modules timetable sucks and clashes with everything under the sun. I HATE BIDDING. it's frustrating. grrr.

i need a pet bunny now.

See? If i had this in front of me, i wouldnt be half as pissed off.

2010-12-27T19:18:00.000+08:00

yay! outing today with huiwei and xiurong was fun! so happy to be able to see them again after such a long time. it's been months or something. huiwei is now on the quest to becoming invisible and xiurong is advancing in technology as usual.

i must remember to take measurements later based on huiwei's documentary.

I think i spent too much money. But i couldn't care less cuz i had a good day.

Sadly im back home, facing my com screen again and soon to be looking through modules AGAIN. i cant stand it, why is it so marfan.

2010-12-27T11:44:00.000+08:00

Bon voyage or non?

Stay tuned to find out!