I dreamed a dream..

Yesterday I cried out in my sleep! It was quite a creepy cry I must say, would have scared the shyt out of anyone who was awake then, or other light sleepers like me. The cool thing is since I'm such a light sleeper, I wake up whenever I start talking or crying out in my sleep so I always know when it happens, and what exactly it sounded like. Like when you tell other people hey, you were talking in your sleep! They would say really? What did I say! But my response would be I know! I called someone an idiot(yea I did that in my sleep once).

So anyway the cry sounded like a puppy getting whacked or how I imagine a puppy would sound like getting whacked, but it was true fear and desperation I felt in my dream, although the circumstances were not very extreme. It was simply me being upset with honbun for being cold earlier(in the dream) then hiding in the room n being unable to lock myself in, I cried out when he opened the door. Yea. Simple as that. I don't know what I was so fearful of, but it was just the thought of my efforts being in vain! I guess. Cuz I actually had a hard time closing my room door (as in real life, the door slightly does not fit) and he so easily opening it scared me. Somehow.

So that resulted in me waking up at 6:45am, cutting short my troubled sleep. (already couldn't fall asleep and still must wake up halfway -.-) so I decided to go back to sleep! Since it was still early. Little did I know...

I was taking part in a triathlon. I had to run to a swimming pool, swim across it, then cycle back to the starting line. Funny how I managed to do it. Usually in my dreams, my movement is dragged like crazy and I just can't run, I slime my way along. But in this dream I was running and swimming fine(cool!). After the triathlon, I went back to the chalet where all the dunman people were and there were two rooms were everyone was randomly separated into. My hunnybun was there and he said hm, so you didn't put us in the same room. And proceeded to watch tv and ignore me! I felt really sad, I didn't really know what to do. And I just woke up cuz the feeling were overwhelming and turned real.

I dunno why my dreams are so depressing. I'm not even upset or anything in reality. Ok a bit. But nothing to do with the contents of my dream! And I have so many dreams I can write a book about all my dreams and it will be thicker than the lord of the rings.

Colour in the shades of Grey

the parting of the veil inside my mind

reveal to me what memories transcend the sands of time.

I went to run because i felt like running was a good way to throw everything painful away, kind of because its painful trying to run after a long time of not running that you're more bothered by that instead. Along the way i met some bright orange fungi growing on the wooden parts of the makeshift path that would eventually lead to east coast park. They looked really exotic because i didn't expect to see anything brightly coloured in this sad, grey world. And it kinda reflected what exactly i just wrote. The wood was grey, and the fungi was the only colour on it. Colour in the shades of grey. I havent seen any brightly coloured fungi in real life before so it was quite a nice distraction. But i didnt have a camera with me so i didnt take any photos and just plucked one off google images. If they are still there a couple of days later(which i highly doubt since they come and go like fleeting memories), i must have them down on film. Anyway they deserve a little rhyme dedicated to them for being so special:

The Orange Fungi Its Name I Do Not Know

i thought i saw a glimpse of bright

orange huddled in the dark

shadows darting side to side

walking through the lonely park

cautiously did i approach

the orange speckled dots on wood

wonder crept across my face

these discs were not from outer space

they were nothing more than those

things you won't let near your nose

not a plant nor animal

rulers only in their world

and yet so strongly they held me

a fatal curiousity

i couldnt take my eyes away

as night came and engulfed the day

so lost was i in thought and awe

the light of day i never saw.

okayokay towards the end it just becomes nonsensical. heck care.

Right at this moment.

The loneliest moment of my life?

Okay I decided not to be so vengeful towards life. Yeayea my mood changes super fast.

On a lighter note, last night I dreamt I got married! It's one of the more interesting dreams I've bothered to remember recently (yea can choose whether to rmbr or not cool right) since my brain has been stale and not doing much freeflow. Anyway, I dreamt I was getting married to none other than my hunnybunny of course, otherwise it would be outrageous. It took place in one of the dunman classrooms, bigger than actual of course cuz dreams pull things out of proportion. And at the start I was running around looking for a dhs uniform?? I dunno why. But the dhs girls were there and discussing stuff like whether to wear sports shoes etc. I rmbr running through long long corridors that had wooden railings, nothing like dhs actually but that's just where my brain stated it to be. I was just looking for any spare uniform. No way am I getting married in dunman uniform in real life??

When I managed to find something to wear, I met back with the dhs girls and we went outside of school to walk around randomly? I forgot what happened here.

Anyway the procession itself was just like a church wedding, marching down an aisle with people on both sides. And it was dunman and nj people. I think the whole of 2K was there cuz there were specific faces I saw. And the walls were pinkish beige and there were flower petals falling from the ceiling. And everyone was clapping.

It was all just like a really happy affair and I woke up towards the end but just went back to sleep to continue the dream and it did continue, but those parts I don't remember anymore. I only clearly remember the scene where everyone was clapping.

In reality I don't think I will have a pink wedding.. Certainly won't be holding the actual procession at dhs. Probably will invite most ppl I saw in the dream, will not wear dhs or nj unifom or whatever school uniform as a wedding gown of course!! It's just not something to be worn on such a special day, when you used to wear it everyday and probably treat it like shyt too. There won't be pink walls but the flower petals sound nice...

My brain is imploding and I was supposed to go sleep several hours ago but stupid module bidding has ruined my life forever and ever. and will continue to do so until i get out of here!!! this evil place!!! its ruining my life!! but also crucial to it!! why is life so contradicting??

Bid points are soaring sky high and my allocated modules timetable sucks and clashes with everything under the sun. I HATE BIDDING. it's frustrating. grrr.

i need a pet bunny now.

See? If i had this in front of me, i wouldnt be half as pissed off.

yay! outing today with huiwei and xiurong was fun! so happy to be able to see them again after such a long time. it's been months or something. huiwei is now on the quest to becoming invisible and xiurong is advancing in technology as usual.

i must remember to take measurements later based on huiwei's documentary.

I think i spent too much money. But i couldn't care less cuz i had a good day.

Sadly im back home, facing my com screen again and soon to be looking through modules AGAIN. i cant stand it, why is it so marfan.

Bon voyage or non?

Stay tuned to find out!

Sleeplessness is Killing me

WHY.

WHY is the hot water not hot water?

WHHY.

On this cold post-christmas night, might i not have a cup of warm milo to tide me through?

How far deeper am i falling into this sleepless insanity?

Tribute to Christmas

Christmas bells and candy bars

baubles, angels, shiny stars

singing, laughing, ripping wrapping,

smell of turkey, children clapping,

glitter, sparkles, snowflakes, lights

shimmer, glaze and pretty sights

paper, metal, glass or plastic

music, magic, so fantastic,

Christmas cheer is in the air,

Confetti flying everywhere

everyone is having fun

while i am having none.

Actually the last two lines are just cuz they rhyme.

I just finished watching survivor Nicaragua and I'm super happy cuz a non-villanous person won! I'm super hungry now.

I haven't been making any clay stuff lately cuz I haven't got any inspiration to run on and planning modules and timetable is such a torture, everytime i'm done with it I feel like I've done a truckload of work and just wanna slack the rest of the time away. Which is what i'm doing now. Slacking~

Pet society had a silly glitch, they put the sale item as 6 coins instead of 600, which they corrected it to later, so I bought like a million of them and resold it and earned like 100k. Yay. Too bad they realised their mistake.

Christmas was uneventful for me. I'm only writing cuz I slept so much today i dunno when I'll ever be able to sleep again. I slept 5 hours in th afternoon, had a bad dream and woke up.

And I'm so hungry.

and my counter doesnt work anymore! have to put a new one and start from last i remembered what i saw which was a really long time ago...

Ughyggygh!! I can't sleep! It's 3am and I'm still not sleeping, I'm really turning into a zombie. Anyway I just decided to write a post cuz I dunno what else to do at this unearthly hour. It seems that recently i only write when I have a sudden burst of anger or inspiration otherwise this place is pretty much dead. I wonder who actually still reads this. Lol.

Whatever it's still fun so I shall continue writing.

I wish I could switch off my brain at certain times, especially when I'm left to my own thoughts, they really start running all over the place and spreading like baked cherries, and then sometimes there are angry thoughts about some idiot and I get so pissed off just thinking about stupid incidents and stupid me for letting them go on for such a long time and stupid me for letting the best things pass me by and taking all the pain and horror in between. It's over now but I still get haunted by incidents that piss me off or are really saddening. At these times I wish i could switch off and be done with it! Like now! Dude I wanna sleep but my mind is running and running and the other mind is thinking of something else at the same time! Yea I think my left and right brain think different things cuz I can feel thoughts on the left and thoughts on the right and it's so weird you can FEEL thinking. I don't do double thinking so well these days cuz I don't use my brain much.

Anyway I just wanna switch off and go sleep but here I am cuz my brain is overflowing I'm pouring out some crap here with no punctuations even. Okay there's one. Argg. Stop laming around go sleeeeepp!!

Bedok point is open yay! Going to explore tomorrow whee!

I CANT STAND IT!!! my house is worse than those on renovaid and NOBODY is going to help us!!! ARGGGHHH i cant even breathe in this cave. it's a dungeon. Theres an OVEN in the living room!!! ARGHGHGHAGHHH. MY ROOM HAS NO MORE WINDOW. the boxes are piled SKY HIGH and KISSING THE CEILING!! The air coming into my room comes through a hole i can measure with a ruler.

I wish i could just throw everything away and burn it in a huge bonfire and everyone will start all over.

I made a new blog for my miniatures. Yay. yesyes exams were over a long long time ago! actually just over a week ago. BUT IT FEELS LIKE ITS BEEN SO LOONGGG.. and ive been doing what ive been wanting to do all the time!!

YES. Make clay stuff! And ive been making them like crazy but only a tiny fraction of a corner of a crease of a scrap of a slip of abandoned clay is worthwhile showcasing. Because i still have a looongg loonnggg way to go to going somewhere with this. BUT i will not give in! rahahahaa i have so much time to spare now i must get something done!!

First post presents... TEMPURA!! yea yea yea after eating it at kiseki where it was so awesomely good i just had to make tiny versions of them. Now i can stare at them for a long time and reminisce and imagine dipping them in sauce.. and savouring the crispyness and eating even the tails.. and..

HUNGRY ALREADY?? okay la. my spinglish doesnt make it tempting enough. but go see it anyway? pleeeeeeeeeeeease.

entice you with kiseki food with cheesy fuzzy border.

Tempura did not take centre stage in the photos but it is really tasty!

ok la up to you.
http://mini-munchies.blogspot.com/ <---- go here see~

Yea im supposed to be going to sleep soon but i'm not really sleepy and im quite hyped up about studying geog now so i won't sleep just yet!

And i just feel like writing this cuz i havent for a long time and its always annoying cuz the whole post will run through my head, everything i want to say and all, while im not at the com and by the time i get to the com, i dont bother with it anymore and anyway most of the stuff i wanted to say fades away.

It always works like that somehow. I always want to do the thing that i cant do at the moment the most and then when i can do it i'm barely into it. Okay maybe not this time, since i really got down to typing im doing it properly.

But its the exam period and what;s the number one thing i wanna do? (other than seeing honeybun which goes without saying so doesnt count)

MAKE CLAY STUFF.

i know i know. i actually do have chances to do it but when i sit down with the bitlets and scraps laid all around me and my quivering rusty penknife in my hand, i dont know what to do. It's like all my inspiration flies away in a wink of a skink.

But now im really hyped up about it! I think about it all dayyy. In between reading about monsoons and wind patterns and chemical reactions and mushrooms. I keep thinking about whats the next thing im gonna try ONCE THE EXAMS ARE OVER. And eveerything is spoilt by that reminder, ONCE THE EXAMS ARE OVER. once the exams are over, will i still have the same desire?

THESE EXAMS BETTER BE OVER FAST. whether im ready or not. Im ready for it to be over.
NOW!

今日はいそがしいですね！
Chemistry はあまりおもしくないです。
Chemistryがきらいです。
どうしてChemistryおべんきょうしたしか。
わかりません。

今私はChemistryのレクチャがあります。
いろいろのreactionおならいますから、むずかしいです。
わたしはわかりません。

I HATE ANTS.

DOES THEIR POPULATION REALLY NEEEEEEED TO BE THAAAT HUGE???

come on! keystone species or otherwise! there's just TOO MANY of them!!

i need to get an anteater.

I had a series of dreams last night

1. I was brought to a haunted house where my sister was and she was normal at first but gradually became possessed. There was a part where the person who brought me here was trying to make me go into the kitchen but somehow I knew the kitchen had all the spirits so I acted normal trying to divert the course of action to another location. Then I looked into the bedroom and saw my sis sitting on the bed, her back facing me. She was holding an umbrella and her hair was tied in two long flowing ponytails and her hair was black and she was rocking back and forth. I was so upset I jumped onto her and yelled and screamed at the spirits to let her go but then I think I died cuz I woke up.

2. I had to submit something to the lab and there were two ways in but I didn't wanna take the lift for some reason I cannot fathom. So I entered by the door on the 4th story but the place for submission was on the 1st. I had to cross over a lot of things scattered on the floor and there were two lab ppl there telling me where to go. When I had to go downstairs they said there wasn't a stair, I had to go down through a hole in the ground. I didn't think it a problem until I was down the hole and there wasn't a ladder. There was a cloth that I had to pull ina certain way to support my going down. I suceeded initially but then I slipped and there was a long way to falling and I fell, and gasped as I woke up.

3. There was a civilization of strange creatures that were like gremlins but there were also normal animals like beavers and they were part of a game my brother played but I only found that out later in the dream. I was watching them live. They were having a power struggle, the evil guy seemed to be winning. A gremlin like creature was somehow bound to each leader and if the leader wouldn't let them
go they were bound forever. This particular gremlin was bound to an evil leader and he was trying to escape, but failed and was facin his doom. The other gremlins tried to help but they didn't succeed either because the evil was too much for them to bear. Then I saw a flashback scene where the gremlin was agreeing to be bound with the evil leader because he lost faith in the good one and thus this was all really his fault and no one could really save him. It ended with my brother seeing the creatures and exclaiming hey it's Torr! Which was apparently the name of the game. And I saw a poster of it and there was White powdery stuff which could be smudged about to change the setting of the picture which was the Torr characters at the bottom under a deep blue cloudless sky. I smudged the White powder into clouds that spelt 'hello' and hoped my brother would notice.

4. There was a house warming at a huge White house but i don't know who's house it was. I didn't stay there very long becuase I went for dinner with Lyrad n Js and his sister whom Ive never even met in real life and it was at a restaurant with orange lights and we sat at a round table in a corner and we ate too much and js's sister wanted to take a photo but only with me and not the guys and she was very happy with the photo, she gave me a high five. I woke up with a stomachache. From something I ate in a dream. How weird is that? And the stomachache faded away by itsel without me doing anything.

5. Somewhere in one of my dreams I ate a
lot of pizza but I don't rememer which dream
it was though I think it was the Torr one.

And that sums up my night of 29th October, or otherwise my morning of the 30th. The first dream woke me at 4+am. The first two dreams should be reversed for the order to be correct.

Im swallowing back the lump in my throat
really trying not to feel anything
counter it by deeply breathing
breathing... And breathing...
But still the lights still keep on dimming
the ceiling is a lake above me
quivering... And quivering
In my eyes there's something brimming...
The scale is clearly tipping...
There's never really a balance
when there's too much feeling...

Every time i use my tongue to touch the central incisors on the lower half of my jaw i feel like a rodent.

do you feel that way too?

こんばんは！

きのういそがしいですから、すこしねました。それはたいへんでした。
今日の午後よくねました！クラスへいきませんでした。
わるいですね。

しかし、そのだいじょうぶ。

あしたがんばって！

*******************************
my first attempt at a japanese blog post to practice my jap. unfortunately its so bad i cant express much other than the general idea of too much homework, no time, no sleep.

heres a translation:
Good evening!

I was busy yesterday so i slept little. it was tiring.
this afternoon i slept a lot! I didnt go for a class.
bad aint it.

but its okay.

better luck tmr!

Yea thats the end. i bet there are some inaccuracies here and there but nvm. when i learn more i will know haha. As for now i can only manage this primary school sounding talk! Thou shalt work hard!!

This was on the trees outside my house today! And my house meaning in a HDB estate, seen from the 8th floor, not some cool jungle private housing kind of house. It's a white bellied sea eagle juvenile! Identified by my dad of course, no way i would know just by looking at it fly past me. It just flew past our window and landed on a tree, so it was about the size of the nail on your little finger and my dad said, eh! theres a white bellied sea eagle outside! its not supposed to be here but its there! And he went to grab the binoculars and i was thinking, how in the world do you even see what bird it is. so we looked at it through the binoculars and it was coool. It was beeeg. You know, small in a far away sense but big in a, ah, you know what i mean. An eagle! On an HDB tree! And he said its a juvenile, well but, it looks grown up to me.

But the grown up one looks like this:

Fit and Feisty. So clearly theres a BEEG diff. And it explains the name anw. An inexperienced numbthumb like me wouldnt know.

Sadly we dont have any pro cameras :C so we couldnt take a picture of it... Arg. I really want a pro camera now. Miss capturing all the good stuff.

A Story of a little girl
Lonely in her own dark world
Only shadows she can see
Nothing here is ever real
Everything just lies still.

Memories just become dreams
nothing's ever as it seems...

Halloween at Night Safari (again!) 2010

Yes! Night safari halloween again! This year it was chinese horror theme or sth cuz there were chinese character-ed signs and more chinese ghosts than last last year. And there was a GUI HOUSE. what the lame name man! It was literally written as that on the signboard. but it looked quite funky. There wasnt a gui house the last time i went though and i expected it to be super scary so i was super frightened to go in! But i did anyway because honey bunches was there and we went in a group of 3 with an indian guy who was very enthu. First there was this creepy woman who FOLLOWED US and STEPPED ON MY SHOE! and freaked me out of course. Thank goodness i didnt see her face or i might have died right there and then. According to honey bunches the make up was really scary. The indian guy made sound effects everytime he whipped open the curtains to the next room! But it seemed like nothing jumped out at us. I think. Not sure cuz i wasnt really looking hah. There was a guy cleaning blood off the floor also but he didnt jump at us either. And in the room of mummies i raelly thought someone was gonna jump out! But no one did. So the whole time i was just scaring myself and squealing to feel better. It really does make you feel better! Oh! But a guy did pop out of the wall saying "want some companyyy?~?~?!~" in a creepy growl and shocked us all.lol.

gui house concluded very fast and it was on to tram! Yay the tram was quite awesome. the aminals were really closeee. And the stag! Huge!~ and the hippos! gargantuan! and the buffalos! really dam big la. See on tv never look that big. The scary portion of the tram wasnt very scary! not as scary as the last time with the 'hell' theme where people were being tortured on stakes and stuff. The scaring people didnt touch us like 2 years ago and didnt climb onto the tram like they did last time! So it wasnt so hard on the heart.

And the forest giants trail was quite terrifying for me. -.- stupid little girl popped out from the bushes with a sad ghost wail and i almost died and collided with some zoo helper guy. And whats his name carrying 2 buckets of whatsit made me almost slip down a slippery bridge cuz he was approaching all of a sudden -.- and i saw corpse bride! that was cool. oh. but i don't remember seeing any animals cept for those in the glass enclosures.

after the trail we went to watch the creatures of the night show and that was pretty cool too. a wolf! and it howled! how awesome is that. the rest were quite typical look how smart this animal is performances but the cute pakistan american kid volunteer was quite unforgettable with his cool true blue american accent "i just knew it!" which 5-7 year old singaporean kid says that?

night safari has mee goreng for $15 man! entrance fee $40 not enough to make you cough blood arh! sugarcane $8. omg!

anyway after that was midnight macs and sweet sweet sleep~

There's just too much in this strange world
that i don't understand as nothin but a girl
who wonders what there is to believe
and sometimes wonders why do i live?

there're so many places i havent seen
and even more places i've been in my dreams
sometimes im so lost i don't know what's real
sometimes in my dreams, i can even feel

some people look like they love their life
and some people just cant stand their wife
some people tell you don't trust a soul
and you'll never understand even till you grow old

when it comes the time to wither into ash
there won't be time to know truth from trash
so i'd rather just believe what i feel, what i see
and through that i know

you're what's real to me.

It's raining like crazy
from Bedok to Clementi
but I ain't cold or lonely
thinkin of you and me.




Really raining like crap, but only if the person has food poisoning or something.

I saw a shooting star today!!!!

courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ajawin/2552566739

There's residual rain
On my window pane
It's been raining through the night
But none of that has blurred my sight
cuz you are everywhere i look
out the window, in my books
but i wanna see you plain as day
not in an imaginary way.

just saw on the news. bullfight gone wrong. bull jumped over the barrier into the spectator seats area, it was subdued and later killed.

wth??? wth is wrong with those idiot people.
how idiotic can people get??
they killed the bull??? Walao eh, dam angry can.
they make use of the bull for idiotic bullfight and then kill it when something goes wrong.
wth is wrong with their brain man. as if the bull is supposed to be happy and calm and follow directions. wth man. w.t.h.
all of them should die by mad cow disease.

However tired i may be
honey you're still here with me
No darkness when i close my eyes
cuz you are all i see.

As I'm sittin here learning bout chemical bonds
I don't think that there was really ever once
a moment when you didn't somehow creep your way in
you, whom I walked with once upon a dream.





My rhymes are getting sillier everyday.

I'm seeing my own horses here,
although I'm not with you my dear..
But I imagine all you see,
and in my dreams you're here with me...

If you came back early and anyone asked me

"Are you disappointed?"

My answer is

"What's there to be disappointed about. He did what i wanted. Which was to come home safely to me."

you're down under.

but i'm on top of the world.

cuz i have you~

i didn't do any homework. I'm terrible.

I'm gonna listen to far away by nickelback for the 1092318th time before i go sleep cuz there's school tmr at 10.

that means wake up at 6:30, out the house by 7:15.



you're flying...
to somewhere you can't see...
covered by clouds
your entire world is blurred
but you feel so free.

Thoughts on Sunday (8th August 2010)

The strings are all entangled
And i've been wondering why
I keep thinking 'fore i sleep
find out before i die
i realised something terrible
all these years it's slipped my mind
that no matter who i find
i still see you in their eyes
the numbers keep recurring still and
only you will hear my cries
i wonder if its way too late,
we've broken all our ties?
there's nothing left of me now
maybe i shouldnt even try
i still regret the moment you were gone and didnt turn back
i regret more that when you did, i only said
goodbye.

but now everything is fine.

i'll be right here waiting for you~~

My table was this neat last night.

but now it's a mess again.

i shall eat an apple for lunch cuz eating lunch alone sux.

I love NZ its awesome and it has cute plants

The first week of school is almost over. My last lecture of today is over so i'm free for the whole day.

My hostel room is neater now cuz i tidied up, too bad my evil camera decided to die of lack of battery so i cant put any pictures. no pictures is boring. but whatever.

on my first day alone in the hostel i felt really homesick i guess. i also did something terrible to someone but also made someone very happy. on my first day alone at hostel i did a lot of drastic things, almost like throwing myself into a deep pile of crap cept its really what i wanna do. jump into the crap because i was in even worse crap before. but to me its not really crap! its just. a complicated feeling of what was meant to be. i just hope the crap clears up for the sad ones because im only good at hurting people so i cant console[console? this reminds me of the End of Mr Y, which btw inception seems to have copied!! did i mention that already? ah, whatever.] them.
anw i shall describe my first almost-done week at school.

Blimey, this one's a secret weapon to the mass destruction of the compassionate side of earth i tell ya.

the first lecture i had was bio, it was cute cuz there were pics of cute animals and stuff. the lecturers were very enthu and made us all listen and everyone clapped at the end of the lecture. he told us about the biodiversity of the earth, esp singapore, and showed us videos of the wild animals we can actually find in singapore every now and then. its even possible to see dolphins from east coast park! i never knew that. he showed us pics of him dissecting the animals and finding stuff like a bird in a leopard cat's gut. man i love this module. he dissected a dead sea cow and we could all see its gargantuan heart. the only thing i was supposed to learn from the lecture, i think, is the classification of the animal kingdom, which was learnt before, not that i remember everything, but the rest of it was just lots of interesting info about nature in singapore. King Phillip Called Out For Good Soup. there! im done studying.

the atmosphere, the moon. its like a dream.

second lecture i had was the ulu geog one. i was 5min late cuz the school is like a maze and i just kept turning corners and going up and down the stairs and running this way and that while following the signs to get to the lecture theatre. it was horrible. but the lecturer has a fantastic accent you just wanna keep listening to. the lecture was about atmospheric environments so for the first lecture he intro-ed us to the atmosphere and told us about its composition and the diff layers and honestly i dont remember anything else. dam. I just know that the troposphere was in the End of Mr Y and you could die if you didnt come out.


third lecture= japanese. teacher had a sorethroat so her voice was like a rake scraping against sandpaper. seriously. but she was still so happy and enthu like a typical japanese and so cute about everything. she went pretty fast but i think i rmbr most of what she taught because thats the only lesson where i read the notes beforehand ohoho.

This has got to be one of the most unappealing pictures for me ever. At least its moderately pleasing, aesthetically. the rest i couldnt even bear to save on my com.

last lecture of the week, chem lecture! killed my brain, killed my mind, killed me. i hate chem!! rahhh and this is JUST LIKE JC CHEM!! omgomg. other people will be laughing and cheering like, omg! i learnt everything before whoohoo! its gonna be awesome! but i'm like. shyt oh shyt oh shyt not again. we basically learnt a complicated way of understanding orbitals and atomic shells and the crapsicums of wavelengths and electrons being promoted with a pay rise[okay thats crap im adding in already] and being demoted when they lose their strife, cuz they stopped putting so much energy to work but release it instead. [yea im crapping] then there's these colour spectrum thingies and there's this graph with bumps showing what each subshell will plot based on radius and probability of finding electrons and there's theories by Broglie, principles by Heisenberg, equations by schrodinger [as if he hadnt had enough disturbing metaphorical cats] and all that confusing stuff that makes me wanna puke and die cuz

i. hate. chem.


yes. so that sums up my lectures for this week, this is sorta me trying to recap what i learnt and failing mostly, so yes! i shall do this often and try to improve.

hmhmhm should i sleep then eat? or eat then sleep? i think i shall sleep cuz i am inordinately schleepy. this is really boring with a lot of words so i added some miscellaneous [and i cant spell this word thank you spellcheck] pictures.

Dammit, who's the unsavory chap who left a cheese slice wrapper on my table.

anyway. I was deciding whether or not to go and try take photos of fireworks from this year's NDP but i think i might just stay at home cuz i wanna try and spot cheeseburger marching instead. I have some crappy shots from last year's Fireworks Festival. That made me conclude that taking photos of fireworks isnt that great cuz i miss the real fun of looking at it directly and instead, end up spending more time frowning at my camera screen. My camera is not pro, just the look-very-nice kind of camera, so i guess that might be why my images don't look as bright and clear as this:

Photo taken by my sis in Netherlands with her pro camera
(those big black type but i don't know what brand)

or classic and stylo as:

Local resident. taken by nick, in that faraway land.

or cute and sharp as:Photo by the Ethan Meleg who takes nice nature photos.

One day I hope to travel to faraway lands too. And take nice photos of nature like these. School starts tomorrow and my future starts tomorrow cuz all my failures in the past help me none for my future now.

Go go power ranger!

Thank you mother and thank you dad for helping me move stuff today.

Thank you for your help today. And the awesome conversation. Here is a sunflawer for you! Shyt. i'm sure to miss you when you go.

I didn't really think that there would be
a day when you would leave this family
not leaving in a sense that you are gone
only your presence leaves but still your heart beats strong

Here, in this house we had our memories
those precious times we spent as enemies
then friends again and laughing all the same
Our mother almost thought we'd gone insane

Our journeys up the hills and over lands
In our minds was where it all begin
those streets and houses built from just pure imagination
T'was nothing ever more real that all of our creation

We'd tumble 'cross the living room in fighting and at war
The most ferocious battle 'tween young sisters you ever saw
But even as we lay defeated writhing on the floor
Our hearts were never far from one another that's for sure

Yet come a day it must where one would have to leave this place
to search out greater dreams and of the real world, have a taste
i wish that i could be there, not just left here all alone
but then again it's here that my own heart does still belong...

happy early 21st to nu

I'm on my long lOng journey home~ couldn't stay at hostel today cuz I haven't brought bathing stuff and bedsheets and the bed is crumbling like a biscuit so I ain't sleeping on it before a good dusting. I went for ragday. At first apprehensive about it but it turned out to be quite awesome although I only met a grand total of 4 friends! Went there like a loner but good thing Chienwei was there so I wasn't so sad. Then wanting was there too! They were so nice to let me trail them though i'm sure they had their own things to do. Wanting also gave me some food thankgoodness cuz I had coke all night and no dinner.

The float parade was really fantastical, bright lights, cheerleaders flyin through the air, deafening music, the over-enthusiastic MC. Everything was just like a huge carnival and it was really a sight. They even flew real Maori over to do the Maori dance which still intrigues me though I have watched it many a time. They lit the Olympic flame as well and it was almost tear-jerking, but I didn't cry of course, it was just quite touching, I'm not sure why. The fireworks, were simply amazing. Like Easter eggs thrown up high and shattering in mid-air, reduced to nothing but glittery lights and sparkly bits flaking into wisps of smoke. Scattered through the nightsky like some heavenly confetti. And the finale was like a giant peacock's tail, blazing in a fan-shape of green yellow orange red.

I didn't take photos cuz fireworks are still best seen first-hand.

They announced the winners for various types of prizes for the floats and science Fac and eusoff hall won almost everything! Example most environmentally friendly, best design, best act etc. Double win for me cuz I was supporting eusoff though I'm not staying there! PGP is a lonely place! I regretttt.... But nvm!

Awesome attending-first-event-experience-at-NUS for me cuz I really didn't expect it to be that exciting, since I'm like non-enthu kind.

I found a person who's gonna be in 2 life science modules with me! She talks like a rapper( when she said her name, it came with a yo man! Hand gesture) which is quite funny but she's really friendly and that's good for me cuz I'm crap at making friends. I hope this is life getting better.

Happy day!

My parents are awesome!

They got me a tv fr my hostel room, cuz well. Life would be sad with a shared tv. Not everybody will wanna watch Life instead of glee right?? Well I'd rather... Tv is my life!

My mom even got me a whistle. Lol, in case I need to shout for help, but my voice is too soft. Awesome!

I'm gonna have a fridge and a toaster(not for food though) too. The shared fridge is really filled up.

And thus I begin my solitary life. I don't look forward to moving everything home each holiday though.

But all things have their catch, so, just gotta live with it!

My sis is gone. GONE GONE GONE!!!

*weeps in a corner*

She's gone to the Netherlands. For Four Frighteningly Long Years.

Four Years.

Alone.

in singapore. me.

Well, life has to go on.

Today i had bandung flavoured frozen yoghurt from frolick so i could use my free topping voucher [forgot where it came from]. It was nice. i had honey stars for the topping cuz their toppings are not fantastic.

Today i watched The Crazies. It was really quite crazy. The storyline is basically don't read unless you want a spoiler.

So the storyline was basically: a plane carrying a certain strain of virus, developed as a biological weapon, crashed in a river/ stream/random water body near this small town. The virus escapes into the water and the first man to get it is R. R almost shoots Mr. Sheriff, who is the main character, but Sheriff shoots him first. Then fellow people start getting it all over and go crazy killing their loved ones and such. An army comes in to evacuate the people and kill those with the virus. Sheriff's wife gets taken away cuz she is running a temperature, but its actually cuz she's pregnant. Mad people escape and the army people run away, leaving their high temperatured captives in the high school strapped down to hospital beds. Mad man comes in with garden fork and starts stabbing whoever makes noise. He almost gets to Sheriff's wife, but Sheriff comes in time to shoot him. Sheriff and Deputy Sheriff try to escape with Wife and Random Girl.

Then goes the long journey of the escape in the usual almost get caught, half the people die along the way manner and Sheriff and his wife emerge the only survivors.

They manage to drive away just as their town gets blownapart. But it seems the town their heading is the next one to be under containment.

Tralala. It was quite gory and the music was pretty loud, as usual, to freak you out. Overall quite a lame storyline but okay la, watch for the horror lor.
The sheriff never caught the virus, goodness knows how cuz he had direct blood and open wound contact with a lot of the mad people.


I hope i get my dam modules or life will be pretty sad.

Mytyitionclub is an idiot organization. Don't ever join it.

This morning's thoughts are of whether cavemen had sinus. It must be really sad if they did cuz they'd have to wipe their noses with rocks, or leaves, which are waterproof and will just smear.. Ew. My sis thinks they didn't have sinus, but they had hay fever.

Either way it must have been really sad to fall sick in those times.

"one glance at the victim showed the healer that his presence could be dispensed with. " - the valley of fear, Arthur conan doyle

wa Lao. If only I could write such chim sentences.

Don't think I've ever had such a shytty day of work since laopokeye came to 'help'. Today I realised why boss3 does not like working with MIss. China. I was fine with her occasional temper tantrums but today was the last straw. She is so dam immature and retarded in the sense that she acts like some bludy spoilt child and today it just hit the edges of my nerves, HARD. She made some exclamation like I should have told her if I had already taken a certain order cuz she made a double of it and then proceeded to wash things noisily and slam te chopping board down and shyt like that while I calmly served the wide-eyed customers. Eat crap la can't you keep your complaints to yourself. All she frickin does at work everyday is to complain how little she gets out of life and how badly she is treated and how disatisfied she is. Please la, at least you have a frickin job can. Stupid shyt I'm like frickin busy at the counter and you cAn't even use your dam eyes to see what I made or if you don't know can't you fricking ask since your mouth so big and you like to talk so much. Dammit I was so pissed off but I had to stay calm an serve the river of customers while she threw a tantrum at the back of the store. Lousy shyt!!! I'm so frustrated!! If you think you do everything so perfectly bluddy well run the shop yourself please!!!!

I can't stand you and your screaming no more!! Especially in your high pitched ear piercing china-nese!!!!

oh yeaaa. right.. a lesser wrong makes it NOT BAD.

what's wrong with your brain seriously?

stop acting so as if you're so concerned about other's feelings when truly, you dont even realise that you already dont care.

hypocrite.

I haven't had such fun with such satisfying company in such a long long time and really, it made me more happy than I've been in again, a long long time. I didn't realise how much I missed this company until today when I got to see them again. Oh, how I will miss this more than ever now! Miss not having school and such joyous people around me! I fear that everyone(including me) will be so busy studying in uni that things will never lighten up and I will never find such a colourful life again.

I hope I can always return to this company and always feel the same happy way about being here..

I cannot imagine the day (if it comes) where I will be waking up for work every morning of my life for an infinite period of time until I reach prune stage and become a dispensible old crinkly soul. I can't imgaine when there won't be school forever and ever! What a sad thing it seems now that I miss it so! I miss carrying a backpack everywhere I go with notes and books and notebooks lining every compartment of my ever-expandable bag and energy bars stuffed in particular nooks and crannies. I miss going home tired from learning too much. Now I'm just going home tired from not thinking and just moving, like a robot but really not quite because robots wouldn't get tired would they? I'm waiting at the counter but there's nobody at this time to come and make me run around at their mercy. All I can do is exercise my brain with a little bit of ranting and a little bit of writing. I would like to read some biology textbook when I have some free time, it's just about the moment to start preparing for school again, another surge of intellectual material to flood into the brain! The brain which may not absorb so readily after months and months of stagnation!

Reminder to drink more water.

Today's centipede count was at an all time high with 15 centipedes seen within walking that single stretch of road to tanah merah mrt. Wonder where they're all coming from?


Eating porridge everyday is very good.

Drink water. Drink water.

Ow. My head is bursting like an over ripe strawberry.

If only the flu could make me fly,
then mr. Flu I would be much more welcoming of you.

i watched nightmare on elm street today.

been such a long time since i last watched a horror movie! as usual the effects wore off after the movie ended, and everything was fine and dandy.

during the movie itself i had a few scares. The movie was packed full of suspenseful moments with suitable use of tension-building music and stuff like that which gave quite a satisfying horror effect overall. It reminded me a little of Halloween, except that the guy wasnt quite so innocent in this case. I didnt like that the people were dying so fast though, that reminded me of final destination which has a rubbishy storyline.

but it was appropriately gory, not over the top gory, and quite nice la.

hohoho.

no, my problems sleeping dont have anything to do with such a horrifying experience.

My phone died and they gave mr a new one. This one is significantly faster. The old one must have been crap from the start man. There's like a large difference in response time and function,which I thought was normal at first until my sis told me otherwise. But yes. I have a proper working piece now so hooray.

But I lost my poem. Dam.

It's not so good when youre on your own.

Oh yea?

Omg. A baby lizard just catapulted onto my foot. Sent shivers right from the bottom of my spine to the top of my head. Ughh!!! Totally ugh...

Go ahead. Take your own sweet time unpacking and arranging. Afterall
I came all the way here just to wait for you.

There's a man on the train with yellow eyes! Vampire!

No they're not contacts. He's middle-aged westerner with greying hair. And you can see right through those marble eyes!

too bad your name still irks me.

disgusting girl

The only thing that would draw me towards living in a cold country other than beautiful scenery is furry animals.

Perhaps I have lived too long in my own prehistoric world. Which stays within the reaches of my own sanity. I still refuse to go near newspapers that only reveal to me the treachery of reality. They only stain my hands with the grey-black woes of the world. My life is plain and I'm buried under the sands of my own imaginary realm. Perhaps in that respect I lose. And fail to fly as far as other fledglings of my age. Because I know only of my own sheltered little world. Where mushrooms are sand and strawberry-coloured. And my imgainary friend in his brilliant red Fox suit reads books to me while I sip a cup of English breakfast tea. With extra milk and sugar. By the fire.



A 2-story high bookshelf with books I will never read.

Everyone's life seems so exciting while mine is sadly quite mundane. After all these months life seems different but still the same. I need some true excitement! E.g. Getting into a cool overseas school. But I applied for none thus shall remain unknown to all at this particular point in time. And all the particular points in time to come. Perhaps I will never fly away no matter how many times I think of the moulin rouge song.

Thou shalt put in heart and soul into learning new langwich.


One day I'll fly away...
But I still miss yesterday.

Why live life from dream to dream?
And dread the day when dreaming ends...

If one does not bother, one will never understand.

When you say some hurtful things I wonder why I don't even flinch.

I don't want your patronage but something really genuine.

You can't see how it pains me to live with my invisibility.

This loneliness never ends...

yet again, a baby mynah fell into the healing hands of my father.

the amazing thing is, its parents came to visit it! How cool is that! But the father mynah was greedy. He went to eat the papaya in my dad's bird trap and he got caught! My dad promptly caged him up. The mom was smarter. She didnt fall into the trap but she came back 5 or 6 times to look at her baby and her silly husband. My mom said dad's letting the father mynah go tomorrow. Baby mynah will be brought up by my dad though, until he's ready to fly. And then it will be time to meet the world, like all other little mynahs. Meanwhile i hope the parents keep coming back to visit!

It's such a lovely thing to see.

WA LAO. UPSTAIRS OWE MONEY LOANSHARKS SPLASH OUR HOUSE!!!

loansharks came to splash my neighbour's door this afternoon. And they JUST splashed ours. Who would think they would commit such a deed TWICE in a day!! And the dumb thing is its UPSTAIRS THAT OWES MONEY!! rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and the police are taking so long to come when the station is just 10minutes walk away. -.- THE PAINT IS DRYING SIR!!

luckily the diagonal splash missed the new slippers my sis bought if not really squat there wait for them to come back then strangle their eyeballs.

Feels like my degree increased ten fold or sth. My right eye's vision is blurred even with specs. Sad life man. I hope it's temporary!! But for now, back to work!

Having experienced being a vampire for two days, I think I much prefer being human still.

Though the starlight kept me company I do really miss the sun. And being outside properly.

I'm back into the real world now! No longer wishing for a new pair of eyes. Thank goodness. Another day of excruciating eye pains I really cannot take. Want to know how it feels! Hold a handful of sand in front of your eyes and stand in front of a strong fan. Let the grains fly into your eyes and then keep them in there, don't take them out. Yep. That's just about how it was like.

PAINFUL. No more!

Anyone who looks into my eyes will want to be turned to stone.

Conjunctivitis hurts :C

flowers and fruits grew out of the trees
with chocolate and strawberry mint coated leaves
around them they sang
around them they pranced
around them they worshiped the clouds and they danced
the song lasted days
the song lasted months
these people they sang like they were in a trance
for the magic forest it lures you within
the strangest and most dangerous place you have been.

I have a dog
the dog is White
the dog likes to get into plenty of fights
sometimes he jumps
sometimes he crawls
but he is always happy
to jump off a waterfall.
The dog got food.
The dog got fed.
The dog grew into a healthy big Samoyed.

Ok that was just some lame thing that popped out my head.

Living life while it lasts....

Like it lasts for eternity...

This morning cows grazed in my mindfield.

None exploded.

Today for once, a customer-full day! Not that there're none usually but today they were flowing in at a rate speedier than usual! Yay, not my business but it's so much more fun when one gets to dispense many many yoghurts in the span of 3 hours. I didn't cut any refugee mangoes today. All of them were very healthy and spritely. Refugee mango refers to a half dead mango I cut the other day, half of it was totally blackish brown and soggy and the smell! Oh, like it hadn't bathed in months! The standard of living has gone up now so the mangoes are much healthier themselves. The strawberries are also fun to cut. Some are underfat and some just eat too much. They should really learn to share! Shall add photos to show the vast difference later!

I'm happy today whee~

The bludy little brat is seriously incorrigble. I'm literally growing old teaching her. I just don't wanna waste my time and brain cells anymore. Shou bu liao!!! Go be a roadsweeper la!! Oh wait. I think even road sweeper also smarter than you can.

i feel i must just press on, but how much can i cope with?

At least even if you don't care,
there's always someone else out there.

China student interesting-nesses:

"ni qiao!" instead of "ni kan"

an insistence on how impossible it is that in the math book drawings the marbles can be stacked up.

Drawing tissue paper between the hand holding the ice cream! And drawing the nails on the hand.

All these are so interesting to me! :D

Wa my First Time opening the shop all alone was stressful to the max!! I had a couple of mini accidents and I even forgot how to work the cash register for a moment. My fingers were quivering as I manually calculated the change for the first customer of the day, after which I peered at the cash register and figured out what I missed. While I was facing in inside cleaning the prep area, mr ang moh customer suddenly said hi! And I totally Jumped! And he was like oh sorry! There was so much to do suddenly, with only 1 person around. The last person yesterday also didn't leave plain yoghurt for me and I had to do a new mix too! The canned longans were spoilt and I had to poison myself with two for testing before proceeding to open a new can and cut those squishy bodies into halves. At the same time, there were customers trickling in slowly and I was glad when lady boss suddenly appeared! Oh, rescue! Life was a little better, then other helper came and life was very good. All in all a very eye opening experience, and I hope next week I will do better!

Bonne chance to me!

There are tears all over my face,
all over the place,
but nothing changes the fact that I have to keep running this race...

Aw. The china boy asked me to come 20 min earlier tmr for lesson cuz he wants to study longer! "duo jiao wo yi hui-er ma~" he says with an innocent tone. And of course I will cuz he's not a little brat. Gah really can't stand teaching that little brat. She is incorigible! Let mr have patience today or I will surely have her eyeballs rolling on the floor by eight o clock. *takes deep breath* here I go.

Aiya laining again!

My frozen yoghurt dispensing is getting better! Can make cute swirlies now yay! I'm le hungry... Had a small yoghurt when I left work but it has since dissolved. Have got 10min to eat before I must trot off to tuition. Come soon oh much desired food!

Ah, as I predicted, it's raining! And heavily too. But not a fantastic guess as it's been raining every day. Ever since my first tuition lesson on Wednesday where I walked through the storm, Stirring my feet in deep waters along the thin drowning path, it's been raining for every lesson after. Thursday and Friday were even more zhun. 3pm in the afternoon it rains. Today is considered early! Not even 2:30... Rain rain rain. My shoes get soggified one after another! Sigh. And I can't wear slippers.

It's fun working at red mango! A bit stressful when there are many customers and I'm trying to read the itsy words on the cash register, but fun nonetheless. Fun and refreshing and healthy! Yea, I'm working there cuz I have tuition and can't do other proper jobs. My sis is also working there, which is why I got to know of it.

There are so many things to remember, I hope I dont screw up the machine...

Anyway it's only 4 hours of my morning each time and only 2-3 days a week so life is good and fair. Tuition tuition here cometh I...

Oh by the way, yesterday, the brat was worse than she'd ever been. Gosh. Imagine the levels of bratness little squits can reach. Hers is like level 100 and advanced. She just decided not to do anymore work halfway and just there. Her grandfather came to intervene, and she just said she didn't want to learn anymore. Just saying no to everything. It was dam irritating and the grandpa walked away saying wa jia lat. If he jia lat then I what man... Siao, I'm not school discipline mistress leh, ask me discipline the kid.
The mom came back and 'told her off' all smiles and strawberries and I went home 8 minutes later. -.- wa almost cannot Taganrog that bratty kid! She learns nothing! Cept that she can get her way all the time!

Well at least she's paying for my food and transport -.-

She said always look forward, then things won't feel so bad. But it's the past I miss and I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing but my own eventful life, without your share in it.

Can I keep on sacrificing more than I can give?

I'm being eaten chunk by chunk.

And taste bitter.

My new student is a china boy! Tian ah, i most certainly did not expect a pure china-Chinese speaking cherubic little tear-drop eyed boy. He is the poster face of a seven year old china boy. Chubby and bald. Conversing with him, I feel like I'm talking to the class china scholars all over again! I'm teaching him English of course, crazy hard cuz my Chinese is near crap. But quite good cuz I can expand my Chinese vocab teaching him! It reminds me of the days I wrote the English meanings beside the Chinese words in the helping box, for filling in the blanks later. Now he does just the opposite! Write the chinese version of the English word! Thus I learnt what stuff like plumber, carpenter, etc is in Chinese. Yes, I never knew it before okay.

Today was a good lesson. He is very entertaining in his hand actions. He was telling me how his teacher only gave them 30seconds to use the bathroom in strongly accented china-nese (yerng tao instead of ying tao).

Oh but I super like his house downstairs. There's ntuc, watsons, guardian, 7eleven and even a sushi shop! Waa dam nice for a small little neighbourhood leh! Millions of things to satisfy my eager eyes! I just took a trip around the ntuc. Just gotta love supermarkets. More interesting than arcades lor. One day I'll memorize every item and their prices and recite them for fun.

I'm so glad it's so interesting around there since the lessons are 5 days a week and thankfully, 15min walk from my house.

Ahh have to start walking to tanah mrt soon for ze little brat's tuition! I got pink Easter eggs (dammit it was so ex) to bribe her and hopefully make my life easier.

Tut tut it looks like rain~

I am a-waiting to watch my 3rd movie this weekend. (seraiously nothing better to do hor) yesterday we watched kidnapper and how to train your dragon. The former was quite traumatic and the latter was ecstatic. ok no sense but the point is how to train your dragon was super nice! Especially the 3D effect of it all, properly made used of unlike in Alice in wonderland where barely anything was even close to being worthy of the effect. The humans were butt ugly as always, but the main dragon was cute, and that was enough. The boy's father looks just like obelisk. So yes, if you want to have a better day, watch that movie. Not kidnapper. That was heart wrenching and tear jerking for me! Gosh, not a movie has pushed me to such limits since what was it - bridge to terabithia. Since the days of watching penguins be eaten by killer whales(and having to chose which was cuter after witnessing such savage nature) I have not easily wept from the effect of a tragic scene!

*spoiler ahead*
the scene btw, was the one where he beat up the suay chap who tried to steal his cab earnings, while shouting that the $ was to save his son.
*end spoiler*

yup.
Watch how to train your dragon!

As I fail to fall asleep despite having retired to bed about an hour ago, I have no choice but to sit up again, do something else and later repeat the cycle again with one hopeful success of an attempt. I know not why such a simple action leaves me in such great difficulty. It tires me to try yet ironically I am trying to ease my tiredness. This late sleeping makes me lethargic in the day yet as I try to solve the problem, I achieve nothing but more failure. I need some kind of escape! I wish I could find a way without the bodily pollution of sleeping pills and the like. I feel I have nothing on my mind! But my subconscious tells me otherwise. What more is there to be done? I just want to fall asleep. What about that could prove so hard?

On a side note, reading Sherlock holmes, I have realized that the movie somewhat presents quite an accurate picture of him! He is clearly more eccentric than we could have imagined... Huiwei! If you read this, really the movie is quite accurate... On another note, sir Arthur conan Doyle uses such formidable vocabulary that I can hardly keep up with 3/4 of the words more than 6 letters long. I understand little of the content but make up for that with the simpler words. Perhaps my inability to sleep is due to being overwhelmed by his profoundity. No reading before bedtime.

On a last note.
If a man be precipitated by a train, let fire be stung by the rain.

Time for sleeping attempt II.

Oh yes, forgot to mention... The hammie died on 11th March. He was still so adorable, I found him sitting in the 1st story orange bowl after returning home from work. It was as if he crawled in there purposely, as his resting place. I took him out cuz i was gonna feed him his meds [which i had been doing successfully for the past 2 days because he struggled very little]... I sorta had a fear he might be dead cuz there was no movement as i lifted the little bowl out from the cage. I poked his ear, and there was no response. I poked him and well, it was clear he had entered a never-waking sleep. I was so sad at that moment i just wept and stroked his tiny fragile little back, feeling so sorry for him and how weak he had been looking. The swell looked better, but i have a feeling he died from lack of food, being unable to eat with such a swell in the way. He refused drink though, so i can't be so sure why he died.

Anyway i buried him downstairs in a little hole, his body still soft, probably died not too long ago before i found him.

welcoming a new phase of life once more...

Changing job, again! This time trying what i would never have ever thought of trying in my long, sad, anti-social life. It couldn't be that bad, i must tell myself. Afterall, ahrong is just around the corner from my workplace! Okay, not really just around the corner but like relatively near so i won't be luncheoning alone hopefully!

First time that my job needs actual office clothes, sadly, thus i have to be poor before i can earn anything. My grand total of office clothes was 1 yesterday[purposely buy for such office-type interviews then forever wear the same thing] and now its 2 today cuz i had to buy another one for tomorrow. Ah. I need at least 4 to last me through a week of work. So i shall have to get two more and then keep recycling them, wohoho. Imagine wearing the same 4 sets of office clothes for 4 months. Sian or not sian! Of cuz sian! Far cry from being able to wear class-tee and jeans to work can.

The job is very strict, no handphones during working hours, they have to be permanently locked away in the lockers. It's even emphasized that only ENGLISH is allowed. Every minute late for work is $5 penalty and 15min and thereafter is $10! It's just gonna be work work work until 6:30pm and disappear.

I am reading Sherlock Holmes because i am clearly becoming stupider with each passing moment. I hardly write, or blog, for that matter [and i will try to do so more often to train my brain] and this has undoubtedly led to me slowing down in my ability to express myself as freely as before. I even got tricked by anna's lame joke [which mouse walks on 2 legs? ... which dog walks on 2 legs? ... which duck...] okay, shan't reveal too much in case he wants to trick more people like me.

I shall write more! Hopefully that will be a possible cure!

CHEESEBURGER ENLISTED TODAY.

sigh. but it was kinda like a normal event overall. He'll only be there for 10 days and then will be out every weekend. Plus being able to call back everyday is not so bad. And he'll be fine. i went with his mom dad and bro to see him off.

his mom came to fetch me supposedly at 6:30am but the alarm clock didnt ring and her phone call woke me at 6:36am -.- siann. Anyway i was downstairs by 6:45am. fast right. Anyways we went for breakfast first, then off to the ulu place.

They had like a tour[and ZESTIN was our tour guide. coincidentally -.-] and performances for us from 9am+ while making the guys strip somewhere else secretly to check for any hidden evil items. Well they didn't tell the parents they were bringing their kids away to be stripped of course, cheeseburger just told me later when we met up again with them at 11pm to eat army lunch. His parents told us to go walk somewhere and then come back for him to fall in at 12 but he spent half the time re-wearing his shoes and socks that his bro called and said everyone was falling in, though it was only 11:30am. So we went back and he just went off and his mom was sad cuz she didnt get to say goodbye. So we ended up getting special permission from the inspector to let us follow them all the way to the multi purpose hall[of course we stayed outside], where he was called out and they had their goodbyes and then we left. I hope that didnt make him get singled out.

After that his dad insisted on getting something to eat, cuz i guess he was hungry, so we had some anpang yong tau foo[i kept thinking of anpan breadman everytime they said that] which they said is the malaysian style of yong tau foo. It was okay, nth much about it, they just wanted me and cheeseburger's bro to try it.

Cheeseburger's mom then had to visit like 10 000 banks so i waited for her in the car while needing to answer an emergency call of nature, which i did get a chance to, thankfully. And then she sent me home.

Fed Run his meds and then went for piano.

Yea i brought my sis's hammie to the vet yesterday morn. He has an abcess growing near his mouth, pushing everything to the left side. It looks so bad i feel so sad looking at him.He looks like a manatee, or a moomin. It's swollen up on the right side of his mouth and nose area and the vet said its hardened pus inside and she tried to scrape out quite a bit of it. It was like mozarella in the hammie's cheek. And there was blood. I don't know how she does it, she just held the hammie in a cloth in one hand, covering its whole body and eyes, revealing only the mouth. She poked about in its mouth while it wiggled, but she somehow managed to keep it in that position!! I need to learn that cuz i have a hard time trying to feed him his meds from a syringe. I need to do it twice a day. one is 0.02ml and the other is 0.05ml. It's SO little i can barely tell if it even went into his mouth cuz even a nudge to the syringe already dispenses that tiny amount. I'm pretty sure he licked up the liquid though, before knowing what it was. Good thing the amount was so tiny cuz he refused to have anymore. I tried holding him in the cloth way but he kept wiggling out, so i guess i just have to keep trying. My sis said to get him grasshoppers as a reward for eating his meds but i'm scared they might get stuck in his abcess.

The vet said the meds wouldnt be able to reach the hardened area though, cuz its already hardened... So the only way would be through surgery, which would involve general anaesthesia, which the tiny little thing might not wake up from. Sad sad fact. I left it to my sis to decide and she doesnt want it to risk dying so we're just trying out the meds for now. The vet tried to remove as much cheese as she could and man was there alot.. she just used a cotton swab and dug and out came lumps of bloody cheese. That swabbing cost $10 on top of the consultation and meds. The whole thing came up to $40.70. People might wonder why spend such a huge amount that can be used to buy 4 hamsters! It should be understandable that Run is our precious little hamster and we can't just leave him like that suffering... He looks sooo ke lian.

Anyway im feeding the meds cuz my sis is not in singapore -.- nvm. is a good experience.

Oh there was a mushroom that grew overnight in Burger's cage yesterday night. Dam gross and smelt like a dam strong pungent raw wild mushroom after my mom pulled it out. It wasn't there last night when i re-filled her waterbottle!! Gosh. I had such a huge shock man. It wasn't just any mushroom it was a long headed whitish greenish mushroom standing tall and proud amongst the hay!! Thankfully it was in good shape, meaning Burger hadn't gone and tasted it, so i immediately threw out all the bedding and cleaned out the entire cage. So er xin i'm cleaning her cage twice a week from now on. Probably the water that dripped out from her bottle helped it grow cuz it was standing right in front of the bottle.

okay. enough of my epic life.

im at work.

work is funny. kindergarten kids are SO cute as long as you're not teaching them.

Teacher: nobody nobody but you!

kids: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA *chorus of laughter*

Teacher: nobody nobody but you!

kids: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA *chorus of laughter*

Teacher: nobody nobody but you!

kids: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA *chorus of laughter*

repeat a few times.

they never seem to get tired of anything. lol.

Today is Lunar New Year and also Valentine's day! Don't know if such a coincidence would ever happen again, but anyway it did happen this year, but it worked out just fine for me.

It's always the same old routine every time for me, so nothing much to talk about. The only interesting thing that happened is my bro's hair got burnt off by someone's joss stick at the temple. Like seriously, a bunch of it got fried and broken off. How sad right. My bro doesnt wanna go back there anymore.

Visited cheeseburger's grandmother's house for the first time, where his mom's older and one younger sis was there, and her sister's husband, and his cousins and his grandmother. Gonna take me a while to get used to these new people. It was pretty weird, as expected. I didnt really know what to do and cheeseburger wasnt really helping so i just stoned on the sofa.

His mom fetched us to our Vdae dinner which was alright but not that fantastic[meaning the food was not that great] but anyway it was the company that mattered more!

We only won a snoopy head from prize stage this time, but as usual, we didn't leave empty handed, which would be inauspicious anyway! The machine kept jamming up and getting error, the guy pleaded us to play another machine, so we did.

There wasn't much else to do, cept that cheeseburger ate a lot and is really gonna get fat at that rate!

I'm super sleepy.
I hope these happy days last forever and a year.


so they sailed away for a year and a day...

Yesterday was fun.



Went on Chinatown field trip with a bunch of little wobbly human beings and it was an entertaining experience. quite.



It was fun for the most part, kids scooting away and you, having been assigned 4 of them, had to run after them and drag them back by the threads of their thick orange collars. The weather was stuffy like being trapped in a huge cotton ball but the shops were selling stuffs which shimmered in the light of the sun, a pretty sight to behold one's vision, almost completely blurred from the shadows of sneaking children. Chattering, laughing, squeaking were most of the sound effects heard and nice uncles from candy stores donated candies to us poor starving kids.



The only sad sad sight was of the old lady, which we saw as we turned the corner to the Chinatown MRT lift. The lady had bumped her head, i presume [it is unlikely she fell, as the others said] because her head was leaking blood at the speed of when one fills a bathtub with warm water, but the rest of her was fine. The blood was so much it soaked up an entire hankerchief and a millions tissues and i kid you not, it was trickling down her face like the morning dew off a leaf too weak to hold anymore of that weight.



I was quite traumatised by that incident, close to tears [stopping myself because I was supposed to be a grown up and a 'teacher' and not to appear weak in front of little frightened children]. I just don't understand why the teachers let the children watch. They seemed quite afraid, making tiny comments[she fall down?] in apprehensive tones, like they were afraid the lady would hear them, I don't know why. We moved on soon, after an ambulance was called, and all was well again with the children, the incident seemed to have slipped through the tunnels in their minds and out of their ears in 3 seconds. Maybe it slipped out.. but maybe it was just tucked away into a hidden corner of their minds, ready to escape at any trigger?

oh well, i don't know. Maybe it's better not to ponder so much.


I couldn't sleep last night, as usual, my head was filled with sounds of children talking and teachers shouting. Sigh. I kept telling it to shutup and go away, but it wouldn't and so i didn't sleep. And so my eyeballs are gonna fall out of my sockets in a moment or too.

Wait. This was supposed to be a happy post!

Well, I had a lot of fun yesterday, despite the scary incidents along the way, but it all ended well *schmiles.*

never been so sure

or at peace.


Or maybe i have

too long ago.

OH FORGOT TO MENTION. OBTAINED MY VDAE EDITION GLOOMY TODAY!! YEAAA MANNN SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


too bad my sis didnt manage to get the white one I ordered, but she has a white one too so ITS OKAY... mine is candy blue and hers are dark and white choco! whoohoo

Happy happy day with rongrong and huiwei!

Met them at somerset first and we ate KFC [as usual] and talked rubbish, and then opened presents! Got gao gui shower gel from body shop[whoa can act gao gui until the bottle finish!] and super nice dress! After they made me come out from the toilet cubicle with the dress, both of them wanted to buy one for themselves also. I was too lazy to change out of it so i wore it for the rest of the day.

We migrated to cine to check out movie timings, but were staring at xiurong's colleague's suppper cute pompom animals book for majority of the time. Huiwei checked out timings for cathay at doby on her phone becuz timings at cine didnt quite work out. We ended up going to citylink first cuz huiwei and xiurong wanted to go see if the shop still had the dress they just gave me, but unfortunately, it was crazy crowded and no more of that cutting.

We walked around marina square and huiwei and xr looked at gao gui clothes while i listened to the shop music. Then we went to prize stage by my suggestion! Ultimate waste money shop but awesome fun! We got a super cute rilakuma[holding a cake] on the first try playing the scooping stuff onto tray game [donated to huiwei. oh actually she paid for almost all the tries haha] BUT we spent a crazy amount trying for a cake bear-- failing, most unfortunately. But we were super high playing that game! Huiwei kept screaming, wa i think everyone around her was scared. We were quite lucky a few times, picking up more cake bears, but DROPPING THEM AT THE WRONG TIME!! i think i was too jing zhang!!! We were happy to pick up lots of what we called rubbish, those random small items that helped to push the stuff on the tray slightly, but they had a not too flattering name.

rubbish...

FINALLY, something fell into the hole and guess what it was!! A RUBBISH THING!! a plastic randomly shaped rock, there for the purpose of filling up the machine with random scoopable items. WAAA When we took it out from the chute, we were so hysterical that the couple watching us laughed at us -.- That plastic crap cost more than $7!! Tiann ahhhh... but it was all for the fun of it and we had a super good time [apart from xr complaining her leg very pain.]

We had to find a charles and keith so that i could get my what-did-xiurong-call-it-i forget leather-ish shoes. cuz they were super nice and they make me as tall as my sis. And less by $30. So i went to find my shoes while huiwei looked at her million-th future bag and xiu rong slacked on the seat.

Afters we went to daiso to buy xr's materials to make the cute pompom animals, huiwei in charge of queuing up, xiurong finding felt and me finding yarn. Quite efficient, cuz the queue was indescribably long.

Movie time! I think we were supposed to have a gao gui dinner, but we ended up eating cinema food because there was no time. Nvm we can have our gao gui dinner next time!!! [esp a more strategic time e.g. after i get my FIRST pay... *weeps.*] Giant Popcorn combo with chicken platter and potato wedges. And an overpriced cup corn with butter soup at the bottom each. Needless to say, we didnt finish the popcorn. But anyway we watched 14 swords and it was cool, at the same time, hilarious. The people die with such ridiculous "youuu stabbbbed mee ughh *faints* " faces that the cinema people kept laughing at them!! We bought the tickets 15minutes into the movie so we missed the front, but the story was quite understandable anyhows. Huiwei kept laughing at poor grasshopper guy[Wu Zun] because he looked like an ah beng from singapore. The sky eagles clan, they were called, but they looked like bengz and lianz that stroll in the alleys.

The character designs are quite cool though, reminds me of final fantasy. Oh yes. The people at the back of the cinema burst out laughing when the name of the girl 'tuo tuo' [literally strip strip] was mentioned! They laughed so loud it was funny in itself.

yay!
happy day.